


What We Became Along the Way

by onborrowedwings



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-26
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-04-01 09:29:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 71,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4014568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onborrowedwings/pseuds/onborrowedwings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They've been out on the road too long, he knows that. Too much time out in the wild, and he's begun to forget what safety feels like, begun to forget how to be around people - how to be around anyone but her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

They've been a long time on the road when Daryl spots the car come over the rise of the hill, too fast for them to run and hide.

He doesn't remember the last time they saw another person. Has it been weeks, or months? They'd only come out of the woods to scavenge the abandoned cars by the roadside, driven by hunger and need. Winter's coming again soon, and he's determined that this time she'll be warm enough - there has to be something in the long lost possessions of all those souls that fled.

It's been long enough without seeing anyone else that the car is able to take them by surprise, but not long enough that they've forgotten to be wary. By the time a man steps out from the driver's side, Daryl already has his crossbow raised, his body forward and angled to block the newcomer's view of Beth as best he can. She stays back, the compound bow not yet removed from her shoulder, but he can see that she's got a hand upon it, that she's ready to use it if she needs to.

He knows now, what needs to be done in situations like this. Knows exactly what type of trouble there is out there on the road, from men who think they've got the right to claim whatever and whoever they wish. He's got scars to tell the stories of those who've tried, Beth has a few of her own too. They've learned their lessons, and Daryl's learned just how far he'll go to protect her.

"Hello there," the man greets them, hand raised in a gesture of greeting. It's not until a woman steps out of the passenger side of the car that Daryl relaxes slightly. It lessens the risk, that there's a woman there. Lessens it enough that he's no longer prepared to put a bolt through the man's head as soon as he twitches.

"Hey." Daryl greets them gruffly, remaining firmly in front of Beth as he peers at the two travellers warily.

"You two got a camp near here?" The man asks, and Daryl shakes his head even as Beth remains silent, unwilling to attract attention to herself.

"No camp, we're just passing through. Don't want no trouble."

"You two together?" It's the woman this time, her gaze moving past him to fix upon Beth.

"Mmhmm."

"It's her I'm asking." This time the woman's tone is harsh, a hint of warning in it as she peers around him more intently towards Beth. "You with him of your own free will?"

Daryl bristles at the question, but at the same time it helps him to judge them, to know that these are _good people_ as Beth would say. They wouldn't bother to ask otherwise.

Daryl knows how it looks - he, a rough redneck on the wrong side of 30, and she, a young girl, deceptively delicate next to him even with the knife on her hip and the compound bow slung across her shoulder.

He can practically feel her take a deep breath before she steps forward to stand beside him, calming herself. They ain't so used to people anymore, she and him, not used to the good ones in particular.

"I am." She's calm as she says it, her gaze challenging, and Daryl feels her hand come up to grip his elbow, even as he keeps his own hands tightly on the crossbow. "We've been together a long time now, nothing for you to concern yourself over."

The woman frowns, "Don't look like you would've been old enough to make decisions like that for yourself before the turn."

"That ain't none of your damn business," Daryl bites out, "You want to get back in your car and let us be on our way? You heard her, we're together, her choice. Nothing further you need to do here."

He stares them down as the two of them exchange a look, a wordless understanding passing between them as Beth grips his elbow tighter. He doesn't need to look to know her other hand will be on the hilt of her knife.

"You looking for shelter?" The woman finally asks, her gaze heavy upon both of them. "We have a community, a safe space. There's other women there, children. We've got walls, fences to protect us. It can't be easy, living like this."

It hasn't been, and only they will ever know what it is they've gone through on the worst days, what it is they've survived to make it this far.

This isn't the first time they've been offered shelter since they've been out here on their own, but it's the first time in a long time that Daryl might even think of accepting it, from these people, these _good people_ as he's hoping they are.

"How do we know you're for real?" He asks, the crossbow still trained upon them. "How do we know it's safe?"

"You can come back with us, or you can make your own way there." The woman tells them, her lips quirking as if she's thought of something humorous. "It's only ten miles down the road, then you take turnoff 61. You can't miss it, just follow the signs."

"We'll think about it." Beth's voice is quietly confident where she speaks from next to him, dismissing the newcomers.

"We have some questions we ask people though, before we let them in." It's the man's turn to speak now, his gaze calculating upon them. "You mind if I ask them now?"

Daryl shrugs, allowing himself to lower his crossbow as he prepares to answer.

"How many walkers have you killed?" 

"Too many to count." It rolls off his tongue easily, and he wonders what's next, how they judge the worthiness of those who come seeking shelter.

"How many people have you killed?"

This time, he has to think. It's not that there's been so many, it's just that he hasn't kept count. Hasn't wanted to think on them overly much.

"Nine, between us."

He should've known that Beth would remember, should've known she'd kept a count of all those miserable lives, unable to let them go.

"Why?"

It's Daryl's turn to answer now and he meets the man's gaze head on, doesn't flinch under it or falter. "One, to put him out of his pain. The rest because they were no good sons of bitches who needed to be put down." His tone hardens before he continues, he needs to know for sure before he takes her anywhere, before he exposes her to any sort of danger. "You got men like that at your camp? Cause if you do..."

"Men like that aren't allowed in our community." The woman replies, "You'll be safe there, the both of you. We could use people like you, people who know what it's like outside the walls."

"You heard her, we'll think about it." Daryl's reply is gruff, but the pair don't seem to be offended as the woman nods.

"If you decide to turn up then tell them that Sasha and Pete sent you."

They wait until the car disappears into the distance before leaving the road and melting into the woods once more, preparing to hide themselves there, to set up a camp for the night.

Normally they might divide the tasks, one setting up their perimeter and beginning a fire while the other hunts dinner for them, but today he keeps her by his side until he's finally managed to shoot a squirrel, barely enough to fill both their bellies tonight. _Good_ or not, he knows now that there's people nearby and he won't have either of them taken by surprise.

He's almost lost her once, and he's learned that he'll do whatever it takes to ensure that never happens again. They might be a strange team, but they make a damn good one, their instincts and responses to each other honed by so many months together.

"What do you think?" She asks him as they sit side by side, each eating their share of the squirrel, Beth chewing slowly as if to try and make the meal go further.

"I dunno, Beth. Could check it out, then make a call."

She nods, returns to her meal, her eyes downcast for a moment before she turns them back to him.

"You never know, maybe... Maybe someone we know is there. They could be."

"Could be." Daryl agrees, bumping her shoulder with his, unwilling to say more. Could be, but he's not going to get his hopes up. It's been more than a year, maybe a year and a quarter judging by the seasons, and they've seen no signs of any other member of their group. Let her believe though, let her hope at least till they get there.

"We'll go tomorrow then," Beth murmurs, "Check it out from a distance first and then decide. She said they had walls... Maybe we could be safe for awhile and just rest."

"You rest now," Daryl tells her, "I'll take first watch."

Beth finishes her meal and disposes of the bones before she takes her place on the ground, curled up next to his leg, her back pressed to it. Daryl lowers his hand to rest it on her head, runs it over her hair a couple of times until he hears her breathing slow.

If there truly is safety then he's willing to try, to give that to her. They've been out on the road too long, he knows that. Too much time out in the wild, and he's begun to forget what safety feels like, begun to forget how to be around people - how to be around anyone but her. Winter's coming soon though, just a few more weeks away if he's right, and they could do with walls around them when it does. He remembers last winter, the flu from which she almost didn't pull through, and he knows he can't let it happen again.

They'll follow the road, turn off where the lady said, and they'll see what they can see. Maybe it'll be the answer they've been looking for and maybe it won't, but he's gotta try, gotta see if it could be for them.

Beth's quiet breaths fill the air around him, and Daryl allows himself to rest his hand upon her head once more, fingertips brushing the hair that curls slightly near her ear.

Yeah, he's got reasons to try.

**

"What do you think the chances are that one of them could be there?"

He knows she's been thinking it since yesterday, ever since the woman gave them the offer. She thinks about it every time they come across a group, can't help herself when it comes to hoping.

"Not great," he replies, with a shrug of his shoulders. "Not impossible though."

If he was being honest, then he would admit that he's thought it too, wondered if it could be a possibility. He knows at least some of the others made it out, but can they have made it this far, through long miles and hard months? He and Beth barely scraped through at times, but they've made it, they've made it and they've kept looking, kept searching for what they might never find. 

They've taken the turnoff, and by the signs he's seen he thinks he knows what they're heading for. If he's right, then these people have a good set up - proper walls and fences to keep them safe. 

It's not far now, and they leave the road to make their way through the woods instead, pausing on the edge of them to get a proper feel for the place they're heading and make a decision once and for all.

He's scanning the perimeter defences when Bath places a hand on his arm, and he turns to look at her to see a smile on their face.

"Daryl, look!" She exclaims, and he follows the direction of her pointed finger to see what's gotten her attention. It's easy to see - there, inside the fences they can see children playing - can see a young woman with a baby balanced on her hip.

"You wanna do this?" He asks, waiting for the answer even though he thinks he knows what it'll be.

"We do it together," Beth replies, "As always."

He nods, his throat suddenly tight, and with a motion of his head he indicates that she should follow him back to the road.

He might be willing to take a chance, but Daryl Dixon still keeps his crossbow to hand, still keeps himself one step in front of his companion, and still keeps his eyes firmly locked upon their target as they approach it, searching for any clues about the people living there that he can find.

Ready or not, they've arrived, and the gates of the prison loom over them.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

_Before_

It's hard to believe that less than 48 hours ago they'd been safe, safe as you could be anyway, in the world as it is these days.

He should've known it couldn't last, should've known the shit was gonna hit the fan sooner or later, that the Greene family's little paradise would eventually fall. Daryl had seen the cracks appearing - Randall, Dale's death, Shane's slow unravelling, but he'd thought they'd pull through. 

They'd been through worse, and if they could just hold on, convince old man Hershell to let them stay, they could've made something of it there.

Now he stands by the side of the highway, all of it gone except for the girl by his side. He sneaks a look at her, sees the tears she's struggling to hold back, and brings his thumb to his lips to chew on the nail.

He'd hoped they'd be in time. Hoped he'd been right when he'd guessed that the others might head back here.

"Do you think they... Do you think they made it?" Her voice is quiet, wavering, and he doesn't know what to say to give her comfort when he doesn't know shit about what happened to her daddy and sister.

He looks for clues though, looks for something to be able to tell her.

"At least one came through here." Daryl points to the tire tracks leading up to the highway, fresh from what he can see. "Maybe more'n one, by the looks of things. I'd bet someone made it out, can't say who though."

"Then we were right," Beth breathes, hope obvious in her voice, "They did meet up here! Maybe they'll come back, if we just wait..."

"We'll wait." Daryl agrees with her. He knows they need the others, that the two of them can't make it on their own. What does he know about looking after a teenager anyway, one that tried to slit her own damn wrist a week ago rather than live in this world? That's not on him, he can't be expected to keep her alive all by himself, girl like that with no skills for the real world. Can't leave her though, that's not in him. "That jeep looks good. We'll camp out tonight, see if they come back. Can look through the cars tomorrow while we wait, see what we can find."

The girl nods, clearly worried but holding on to some shred of hope. Daryl hopes they're right, that come morning Rick and the rest will be coming up the road, grateful to see them here. Might be they couldn't care less about his sorry ass, but the girl's family will want her back, he's sure they'll have waited for her at least, that they'll try to find her.

The afternoon light begins to fade as they go through the cars, pulling out food, clothes, and whatever else they can find. He's keen to find Beth a good knife, get his back from where it currently sits strapped to her hip.

When night falls they settle into the jeep, he keeps watch from the driver's seat while she curls up in the back. He's noticed that as the hours have passed she's gotten quieter, as if she's thinking something serious inside that head of hers. 

"You'll wake me up to take watch?"

It surprises him that she'd ask, but he hums his acceptance, turning back to watch the road as he can hear her settling behind him, turning in her place as she tries to get comfortable.

Five hours later when he wakes her, she climbs into the front passenger seat while Daryl moves to take her place. He settles down, not sure that he'll be able to find rest when he knows their safety is in her hands, observing her from behind almost closed lids where she sits. She keeps the knife in her hand, sheathed but ready, her eyes fixed on the road, and Daryl thinks that maybe he'll be able to find some sleep after all, the thought surprising him. 

If they ain't coming back, then it's him and her from now on, till the time it's not. Sooner or later he'll need to trust, sooner or later he'll need to know she's got his back. 

He closes his eyes and falls into a fitful sleep.

**

She replays that night in her mind, trying to pinpoint the moment it all went wrong, how it is that she's ended up here and now.

Daddy had been so sure they could wait it out, remain safe on their farm until a cure was found. Beth had desperately wanted to believe him, to believe that her mother and Shawn would be coming back, that they could all come back. 

She remembers that day vividly, the hail of bullets that brought down her family and neighbours, corpses after all. Even from the haze of her own grief, she remembers when the little girl had emerged after them, remembers the look that she'd seen on Daryl Dixon's face, of something breaking inside of him, and later when she'd had time to reflect the thought that had come to mind was _he's just like me_.

She doesn't know him though, not really. She'd never even had a proper conversation with him before the farm fell, and now he's all she has left, the only one she has to rely on. It's not that Daryl Dixon scares her, because he doesn't, she doesn't know him well enough to know if she should be scared, but she thinks she knows enough. What scares her is how completely dependent she is on him now. Beth knows she's been too protected, she's never learned the skills she needs to survive out in this new world.

And now here she is.

Here she is, keeping watch from the front seat of a broken down jeep, while he sleeps in the backseat, one hand thrown over his eyes.

 _Please, Daddy_ , Beth prays, _Please, Maggie, just come back. Come back to look for me, come back to take me with you_

Beth has to believe they will, she can't let go of that faith or she doesn't know what she'll do.

Doesn't know what _they'll_ do.

**

The morning brings light, but no sign of their group. They spend their time scavenging from the cars, going through their finds and sorting them, discarding anything unnecessary. They won't have so much room to take it with them on the bike, there'll be no room for luxuries with every space dedicated to what they need.

They find a hunting knife, but it's too big for Beth so Daryl takes it instead, his remaining on her hip. They find a gun too, and after checking that she knows how to use it, Daryl hands it to her, telling her to tuck it into the waistband of her jeans, her shirt draped to cover it.

"Never know when you'll need the element of surprise, keep it hidden till you need it," he advises her, and Beth can't help but think of what type of situations she could need it in. It's not walkers you need to hide weapons from after all.

They stop for a quick meal of canned spaghetti around noon and then it's back to work. Beth keeps her eye on the passage of the sun, the rapidly fading light, and knows that they're running out of time. 

It is dusk, and Daryl looks at her, his face shut off, expression unreadable.

"Just one more day, please." Beth begs him, not wanting to give up just yet - they must be coming back to look for her, they just have to be.

"We'll wait till tomorrow," he concedes, "Can't head off after dark anyway. Give em till mid morning, but then..."

He trails off, shrugging, and she knows what it is he's not saying, that then they move on.

"Couldn't we wait a little longer?" Beth pleads with him, "We've got food here, shelter of sorts. If we were to wait for a few more days..."

"And what if that herd comes back through here, huh? What if that group of Randall's turns up?" His voice is rough, and Beth knows he's running out of patience, that come the morning he wants to be out of there and gone. She wonders what he'd do if she refused to follow him.

Instead she nods, and heads for the jeep they'd spent the previous night in.

She dreams of the night the farm fell. Dreams of Patricia being wrenched from her grasp, of losing her grip on Lori's hand as the woman had stumbled, turning suddenly to avoid a walker.

She'd been cut off, too many walkers between her and the car, and she'd run, just run without seeing where she was going, desperately trying to evade their grasp, to save herself anyway that she could.

Beth had believed she was going to die before she'd heard the rumble of the engine growing closer, the gruff voice telling her to get on, and she hadn't needed telling twice. She'd climbed up behind him, with barely enough time to grab his waist before he'd taken off again, roaring down the road. He'd tried to bring the bike back around to the house, to check if any of the others were still there, and Beth had noted with relief that the cars were gone, that at least some of their group must have escaped. Unable to spot anyone they'd turned around, headed towards the highway, but they'd waited too long and their path was cut off by more walkers than Beth had ever seen.

After that she'd simply clung to Daryl, her knuckles white as she held onto his vest, trying to make herself as small as possible against his back. They'd taken back road after back road, desperately trying to find a clear path, but every time they tried to circle back around they were cut off until they were further and further away. She had known the moment that Daryl gave up, when with a backwards glance at the road behind them, he'd sped in the opposite direction of their goal. Stopping only once there were no walkers in sight, they'd wheeled the bike into an old barn just as the sun was rising and he'd cut off her query before she could even phrase it, telling her to get a few hours sleep before they headed out again.

He had woken her after what seemed like no time at all, and again they had tried to reach the highway, but taking detours to avoid the tail end of the herd had delayed them, as had the need to find gas when Daryl had noticed the indicator turn to red, swearing heavily as he saw it.

By the time they had reached the spot on the highway where they believed the others would meet, it was late afternoon and nobody was there. It's possible they'd never come at all, but judging by the recent tire marks on the road, Beth believes they must have. They were here, regrouping, it was only her and Daryl who were too late.

In the morning she watches him siphon gas into a plastic container before strapping it to the bike, and wishes that it would take him more time. Finally finished, he jerks his head in the direction of the bike, mumbling a low "C'mon," under his breath.

"What if they come back?" Beth asks, still holding onto that one slim hope.

Daryl shakes his head, looks down at the ground and then strides over to where she stands, looming over her.

"They ain't coming back," he states, looking her straight in the eye for once, and there's no doubt in his voice at all, the cold truth of it cutting her like a knife. "It's time we get going, so get on the bike or stay here by yourself, your choice."

She's fairly certain he wouldn't leave her, but she nods anyway, beginning to make her way towards the bike. Beth's been holding on, but she knows in her heart that Daryl's right. Nobody's coming back here to look for them.

"Can you track them?" Beth asks "Like you tracked that little girl? Could we find them?

"Can't track cars," Daryl scoffs, "But before we came to your dad's farm, we were headed for Fort Benning. Might be they've gone there."

Beth nods, taking another step before a sudden thought strikes her. "Just wait one moment."

She grabs the marker that had been left by the car with the message for Sophia, and scrawls a new message on the windscreen - Beth and Daryl. Heading to Fort Benning. Done, she puts the marker into her bag before climbing up behind him where he already sits upon the bike.

"You ready?" Daryl asks.

She's not, but Beth knows that from now on she'd better be, that there's no room for hesitation anymore.

He must feel her nod, because Daryl starts the bike, and Beth tightens her grip on his sides.

It might be that there are tears in her eyes as the bike picks up speed, but she blinks them away. The time for crying is done, if they're going to make it then from she can't afford the distraction.

The miles pass steadily beneath them, and Beth keeps her eyes firmly fixed on the road ahead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who reviewed or kudos'ed, I hope this lives up to your theories!


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

_Now_

_As they grow closer, a man approaches the other side of the fence, hailing them. By the gun slung over his shoulder, Daryl guesses that he's on watch._

_"Hello there," the man greets them, "My name's Tyreese. You mind introducing yourselves and telling me how you found us?"_

_"Was two of your people that found us, Sasha and Pete. Told us there's a safe place here, that we'd be welcome."_

_Tyreese nods, looking them both over, his eyes passing quickly over Beth, his gaze slightly uneasy as it fixes on Daryl's crossbow. "And your names?"_

_"I'm Beth, and this is Daryl. You going to let us in?"_

_It's said sweetly enough, in her normal way, and Daryl waits for the answer, hoping they haven't come on a fool's errand. If these people are happy to have them then they'll check the place out before making a decision. Just as long as it's not the type of place where they won't let you leave of your own will, they've seen that before._

_"Sure," Tyreese replies, "If Sasha and Pete sent you here, then we're willing to give you a chance."_

_"And if we don't want to stay, we free to go?" Daryl asks, eyes narrowed as he waits for the answer. "It's our choice?"_

_"It's your choice." Tyreese confirms, before making a gesture to someone nearby, "Open it up!"_

_The gates open and Daryl meets Beth's gaze, nodding at her before they walk forward. It's a risk, but they need to take a chance that this is the real deal, need to trust again at some point._

_"Our leader is out on a run today, so you'll only meet him later tonight," Tyreese comments, "In the meantime I'll get you situated. Original group that founded this place stays in C Block, those of us who are new are in D."_

_Daryl makes a noncommittal noise to show he's listening, his eyes sweeping the prison yard as they walk through it and towards the blocks, noting the garden that's been set up and the pig pen, a horse grazing in a separate area. There's an outdoors cooking space set up on the quad where the blocks meet, and he can't help but think that this group has done well. Can't have been easy to set all this up and keep it together._

_There had been children laughing and playing when they arrived, but they seem to have been shepherded indoors now, maybe to whatever passes for lessons. The yard is almost empty as they pass through it, Tyreese nodding at the few people milling around._

_When they enter D Block, Daryl can't help but look around warily. For all Merle's experiences with prisons, he never thought he'd end up on the inside of one, and certainly not by choice. It's light inside though, airy, and looking around he can see that people have made their cells into homes, decorations and small touches evident in all. It's not what he would do, but he thinks maybe Beth would like it if they had a chance to settle, a chance to finally make a home of it somewhere._

_"You want one cell or two?" Tyreese asks, pausing in the main area. "Bunks are narrow, but some of the families have removed them, just use the mattresses instead."_

_"We'll take one cell," Beth answers for them, not needing to check with him first. He feels her fingers brush against his, a reassurance._

_"Alright, you can take this one then, I'll send Karen by with some bedding and a sheet for privacy." Tyreese nods towards the nearest empty cell, and Beth wanders into it, hesitantly touching the bars of the doorway as she looks around._

_"Home sweet home." Daryl mutters, leaning against the doorway as she looks around._

_Tyreese laughs at that, "Don't think any of us ever thought we'd be bedding down in a prison by choice. Safest place I've seen after the turn though. Now, should I show you two where the showers are?"_

_Beth nods, turning to Daryl with a grin on her face. She mouths the word showers at him, and he can practically feel the excitement rolling off her. He can't help the quirk of his lips in response, he's looking forward to getting clean himself._

_"You can give your old clothes for washing, if you've got some spares. If not then maybe we can hunt something up for you."_

_"Nah, we've got it covered." Daryl shoulders the pack that contains their spare clothes, only one set each._

_"You have any shampoo though?" Beth asks, "We've got soap, but it would be real nice to wash my hair properly after so long."_

_This earns another laugh from the big man, "Don't I know it! We've all been there, when we came in from the road the first time. We'll pick you up some on the way."_

_Daryl lets Beth take the showers first, guarding the door while she does so. He doesn't count the minutes but he knows she's in there for awhile, doesn't begrudge her a single second. It's been two weeks since they've had a chance to clean up, and that had been in a small creek, the water cold and brisk. Finally, Beth emerges, grinning at him, and for a moment he's stuck for words. Her hair is still wet, curling around her neck, but her skin practically glows; he'd forgotten how pale she is underneath all that dirt. There's a moment, when he'd like nothing better that to reach out and touch that soft, clean skin, run his fingers down her arm or over her cheekbone, just to convince himself she really exists._

_He's got his own dirt to clean up though, she doesn't need him to be smudging it all over her._

_"Forgot what you looked like clean, Greene."_

_Beth raises an eyebrow, "I don't know that I've ever actually seen you clean, Daryl Dixon."_

_He snorts, before nudging her with his shoulder, pushing past to enter the bathroom. "You stay here," he tells her before he disappears inside, "Don't go wandering off anywhere."_

_Beth rolls her eyes, but he knows it's more at the fact he felt he had to tell her. They'll stick close together till they know these people properly, till they're sure of them._

_Daryl watches the dirt disappear down the drain and feels almost like a new man, as if an entire layer has been removed from him. He scrubs at his hair until the water runs clean, and thinks that maybe he could get used to this feeling. That's the dangerous thing, feeling that way. You get used to a certain amount of comfort and it's that much harder to leave when you've got to._

_Emerging from the bathroom at last, dressed and with his old clothes bundled up, he sees Beth's eyes widen at the sight of him._

_"What?"_

_"Nothing." She grins though, and he can't help the small smile that raises to his lips in return. He's not sure exactly what it is that she sees, but wearing a set of fairly clean clothes, with his hair washed and the dirt scrubbed off, Daryl almost feels like a new man._

_"Tyreese say where we were to go once we were cleaned up?"_

_Beth shrugs, "I think we're free to do what we want, at least until we meet their leader. Might as well go check out the rest of the block, maybe meet some of the others."_

_They drop their dirty clothes off to where the laundry is collected before they return to their assigned cell to see their bedding has been delivered, an extra sheet to tie over their cell entrance. They make short work of it, carefully placing each of their packs and Beth's bow against the wall within easy reach of the bunk. They each keep their knives clipped to their belts, and Daryl has his crossbow slung over his shoulder, not quite ready to leave it behind until he knows this place better._

_"There you are, I was just bringing you a couple of bowls of stew left over from lunch," a woman with dark hair greets them, handing over a bowl to each of them which Beth accepts with a thank you and Daryl with a nod of the head. "It's not much, just vegetables, but we might get lucky if the snares get some rabbits today."_

_"Maybe I could do some hunting," Daryl offers, mumbling around mouthfuls of the stew, "Try to bring something back."_

_"That would be wonderful," the woman comments, "The pigs are still growing, and till then we've been relying on what we can trap. I'm Karen by the way. Beth and Daryl, right?"_

_They each nod, and she smiles, standing to go. "You can return those to the block's kitchen when you're done, ask anyone where it is."_

_Dark waits till she's gone then turns to Beth, "Whaddya think?"_

_Beth takes a moment to think before she replies, her tone kept purposefully low. "I don't get a bad feeling about it, so far it seems like they are what they say they are. Maybe... Maybe we can be safe here for awhile. Maybe we can finally do something other than just surviving."_

_He nods, and takes her bowl, stacks it on top of his as they stand up to find the kitchen. "S'what we wanted."_

_"We wanted to find the others," Beth comments softly, but she's not reminding him, just stating it. They both know there's only a small chance now, that the others could all be dead or more likely are far from here._

_"Never know, we haven't met everyone yet."_

_"Yeah, you never know." She nudges him, and Daryl knows Beth is reminding him of the days when he wouldn't even give that much, when she was the one who pushed him over and over again not to give up hope._

_They wander the block before again visiting the quad outside, where the shadows are already lengthening in the late autumn afternoon. They keep to themselves for now unless approached, just watching, observing._

_It's still light out, but Daryl can tell by the set of Beth's shoulders that she's tired, today has been a challenge for both of them._

_"C'mon, let's turn in."_

_They each remove their boots as they sit on the edge of the bed, and he thinks about how strange it seems to do so, to sleep without needing to be ready to run at a moment's notice. They line them up neatly, right next to the packs, ready to go at a moment's notice if need be._

_Beth pushes down upon the pillow experimentally before shrugging, "We've had worse."_

_"That bad, huh?" Daryl gives it a prod of his own before he lies down, pushing himself against the wall to give her as much room as possible. He stretches his arm out and gestures to her, "C'mere."_

_Beth slips into bed beside him, curling into his side, her head resting on his chest as he brings his arm in to curl around her shoulders._

_"We can be good here," Beth whispers to him, her hand coming to rest upon his chest, "We can."_

_"We'll see," Daryl murmurs, his breath ghosting across the top of her head where it rests near his chin, "Might be that they need us. We can hunt for them at least, make a place for ourselves."_

_Beth hums in agreement, and he tightens his grip upon her shoulder, as she curls herself in closer to him._

_"You'll see, Daryl." Beth whispers sleepily, "We've made the right decision."_

_He listens to her breaths deepen and slow, listens to the sounds of life continuing outside the bars of their cell as the other inhabitants go about their evening routines. Daryl hopes she's right, but he can't bring himself to sleep just yet, not when he's still getting a measure of this place. Let one of them stay on watch, he'll protect her while she takes her rest._

_It's been several hours when there's a knock on the bars outside, and the sound of a throat being cleared. Beth rouses immediately, a hand going to her knife before she sits up to begin putting her boots on. Daryl walks to the entrance to pull the sheet back, nodding to the man outside as he then turns to put his own boots on._

_"Sorry to disturb you, but Rick's back. Wanted to meet you before he turns in for the night, he's on his way now."_

_"Rick?" Daryl sees Beth freeze from the corner of his eye as the name leaves his mouth, and he knows she's thinking the same thing as him, that it could be a coincidence, or it could be..._

_"Yeah, he and his group found this place, they're the ones who run it. Saved a lot of us who are here."_

_"This them, Tyreese? What did you say their names were again?"_

_Daryl knows as soon as he hears the question, would know that voice anywhere. He waits though, waits as Rick comes closer, knowing that he still can't see them. Beth has come forward to stand beside Daryl, a look of wonder in her face, she grasps his hand quickly in excitement before she squeezes it and lets it go._

_"Daryl," he states his name with a curl of the lip as he steps out of the cell, eyes focused upon Rick's face and clearly able to see the changes there, the sorrows that the last years have given him. Daryl looks behind him to Beth, gives her a nod as she steps forward, "And Beth."_

_Rick Grimes looks at both of them as if he's seen a ghost._

_Daryl supposes that for all he'd given them up for dead, he might as well._


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

_Then_

Fort Benning is overrun. 

He should've known it would be, should've known that every second asshole would try to run there when the dead took over, thinking to find safety behind high walls and big guns. The gates are open, and he can see the walkers milling around inside, waiting. If their group has been here then they would've taken one look at the place and hightailed it out of there, just like they need to do right now.

"Do you think that maybe..." Beth begins, but he cuts her off with a shake of the head, and starts the bike, wanting to put some distance between them and the place.

"I don't think nothin'. If they were here then they're gone now, and there won't be any clues down there. We're going and we're going now."

They drive until they're far enough away, while Daryl struggles to pick a direction, to work out where they should be heading. He can feel the tension in Beth's arms where she clutches his sides, and he doesn't know what to tell her, there's nothing he can say to make this better. Truth is, they're on their own now, this was their last hope and there won't be any chance of finding the others now except by some miracle.

Spotting a small service road off the highway, he turns onto it, following it up and past other smaller roads turning off until he finally picks one. It leads to a small house at the end, a cabin really, and as he shuts off the bike's engine he sizes it up, looking for weaknesses and points of defence. It'll be night soon, and they need to settle in, get some walls between them and the things that go bump in the dark.

Beth follows him without a word as he makes his way up to the porch, raising her knife and holding it ready when he gestures for her to do so. Daryl notes that he'll need to work on correcting her grip and stance, but that's for another time. For now he raps the hilt of his own knife on the wooden door, waits twenty counts before he decides it's safe. He's just about to force it open when Beth holds up a key she'd found beneath the mat, and Daryl scoffs as he opens the door.

Sure enough the place is empty, and they do a quick scan of it. There's two bedrooms off to the sides of the living area, a small kitchen with a gas canister attached to the stove and a bathroom. A search of the cupboards shows enough canned goods to last them a week if they ration. They could do worse, and this place is as good as any until they come up with a plan.

"We'll stay here a day or two." Daryl announces, "Gotta get started on the perimeter."

Beth helps him in stringing up their early warning system, still not saying a word, and he sneaks glances at her out of the corner of his eye. Girl looks lost, like she's waiting for someone to tell her it'll all be okay, to show her the path ahead, and he ain't got that for her. Truth be told, he doesn't have shit for her, and it burns something deep inside to admit it, that this is the best he can do.

The house secure and the warning system in place, they return inside and Daryl watches as Beth settles herself on the couch, staring at the wall, as he heats up two cans on the gas stove to serve them. He hands her one and settles himself on a chair nearby, watching her as he takes mouthfuls of his own meal.

Beth doesn't speak until she's finished her can, then she sets it aside and looks up, looks him in the face.

"They didn't wait for us, didn't even leave a note in case we came after, they were never planning to come back and check. They think... They must think I'm dead. I've never been strong like Maggie, and so they decided I must have died. Didn't even try to look, didn't even hope that I might have made it."

She looks so disheartened, that he wishes he could say something to make it better, but she's right. Her family would've seen her missing and just assumed. Girl like that, little slip of a thing, what hope would there be for her out there on her own?

Daryl clears his throat, shrugs, and takes a final spoonful of his can before he responds. "Yeah well, at least they think you died. Probably thought I lit out of there on my own soon as things got too bad, left them behind."

It rankles him, stings something bad when he thinks about the last weeks, the trust he'd thought they were all building, the place he'd seemed to be making for himself in their group. But he knows that's the truth, that's what would've been decided.

"But you were there till the end," Beth replies softly, and he wonders if she's trying to comfort him, "Came after me when you didn't need to, then went to check if anyone was left. Why would they think that?"

He shrugs, not trusting himself to speak about it. She's hasn't had time to learn the ways of the world, or how people look at asshole rednecks like him. She's looking down at her hands, looking at the scar on one wrist, and he's struck by how very young she looks in the low light.

"Just how old are you, girl?"

"Sixteen... I'll be seventeen in a couple of weeks."

"Jesus..." Daryl mutters under his breath, shaking his head. Stuck with a teenager, and one who doesn't seem to know the first thing about surviving. She hadn't even known how to fire a gun before their group came to the farm. He feels himself begin to calculate the odds on what the chances are that she'll survive. They sure as hell ain't high.

"I know what you see," Beth breaks his trail of thought, her voice slightly bitter, "You don't think I'll last long. Maybe it'd be better for you if I didn't. But I'm not going to give up, I'm not going to prove them all right. We'll find them again and they'll see that I made it, that I was more than just some dead girl. You might not think it, Daryl, but I'm gonna get through this, you'll see."

He has to admit that the girl has spark, and he snorts softly as he looks her over once, noting the determined set of her shoulders. "Alright then," he agrees, "Need to train you up a bit. Teach you some things."

"You'd do that?" She's hopeful now, her eyes shining at him in the darkened room, and he shrugs.

"Ain't like I got much choice. It's you and me now, until we can find a group. Better for both of us if you know how to handle yourself out there. Can stay here a bit longer, teach you some fighting, survival skills, before we hit the road again."

Beth nods eagerly, and gives him a small smile. Daryl can't return it though, because inside his head he's still turning over odds, still calculating the possibility of her survival. He'll try his best to keep her safe, but there's a lot of bad out there, and only the two of them against it. The sooner she's able to protect herself the better, and he'd like to see her make some progress before they're exposed once more.

If Merle was here, he'd probably tell Daryl to leave her, sneak away in the middle of the night. That's not Daryl though, that's never been him, and he knows that no matter how much of a liability she might turn out to be, he'll stand by her till the end. That's him to the core, loyal, though the others never seemed to realise it.

He takes first watch before waking her, and notices that she gets up without complaint, ensuring that her knife and gun are where they should be before she takes her place, sitting by the front window.

It's how he finds her five hours later, her features lit by the oncoming dawn, a look of hard concentration on her face as she focuses on something near the tree line.

"There's a couple of them out there," Beth speaks even before he's announced his presence, and Daryl realises that she'd heard him, as quiet as he'd been. "I was waiting for you to wake up, thought maybe we could go and take care of them, you can show me how."

She turns to face him then, her expression resolute, and he feels it spark something inside, a hope he didn't know he had in him. 

Maybe this girl ain't such a lost cause after all, maybe, just maybe, they'll survive this together yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay on this one, I swear the next part will be out quicker and that it will be longer! 
> 
> I'm still catching up on my replies from the last chapter, but should be all done by tomorrow, thank you to everyone who has left a comment!


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

_Now_

The look of disbelief on Rick's face is almost comical as he turns his gaze first to Daryl and then to her. 

"Daryl?" he questions, as if the evidence wasn't right there in front of him. "And Beth... God, I never thought we'd see either of you again."

"I can believe that." Daryl mutters, and there's something like guilt in Rick's expression until he masks it.

"I need to take you to the others," Rick continues, shaking his head, "They're not gonna believe it. Hershel and Maggie, they'll be over the moon."

"Then they made it?" Beth interrupts him, hope rising in her chest. As soon as she'd seen him appear, it's all she's been able to think, that she'd been right all this time and that she would finally see them once again. "Everyone made it?"

Rick shakes his head, scrubs a hand down his face as if in renewed grief, "We lost some along the way, but your Dad and Maggie, they're still here. They'll be thrilled to see you."

Rick claps a hand on Tyreese's shoulder, smiling at the big man before he jerks his head towards the exit, signalling for them to follow him. Out of habit, Beth checks once more that her knife is in place, the gesture second nature by now. She glances up at Daryl then, looking to him for reassurance, and he gives her a small nod, places his hand on the small of her back and nudges her forward.

They follow him out to the quad and then in through the entrance to C Block, pausing in the communal eating area as Rick raises his voice, "Everyone! Got some people here waiting to see you all, won't want to miss this."

They emerge from their cells one by one, and Beth looks to each face, seeking recognition and checking who might be missing. There's Carol, gasping with surprise before she rushes forward, hugging Beth before she goes to Daryl. Andrea, making her way to them from where she had been sitting with a woman with dreadlocks, exclaiming and hugging Beth before holding out a hand for Daryl to grasp. Beth spots Carl making his way forward, a baby on his hip, sees Glenn walking rapidly towards them, yelling her sister's name over his shoulder as he first clasps Daryl's hand before turning to her. Last, Beth sees the faces that she's ached to see since the moment she lost them, all that time ago. Maggie's hair is longer now, and she seems older, hardened, though she lights up the moment she sees Beth, tears coming to her eyes. And Daddy... Beth's father is limping towards her, an empty pant leg and a crutch under his shoulder.

She runs to meet them, feels their arms go around her, can hear the exclamations, feel the tears fall upon her skin, the kisses upon her hair and then her cheeks. This is home, this is what they've been seeking all this time they've been wandering. All the terrible things they've been through, everything they've overcome, and this was waiting for them all the time. To Beth it seems almost like one of her Daddy's miracles.

She looks up from their embrace to meet Daryl's eyes, grinning at him as if to say, _see, I told you so_. He doesn't make any sign that he's understood, but there's a slight twitch of his mouth that tells Beth he's acknowledged it, that he knows what she'd say to him if she could.

When her daddy and Maggie have let her go, stepped back and are looking her up and down, exclaiming over her, Beth takes one final look around. "What about Lori, T-Dog and Shane?" 

There's silence for a moment, before Rick clears his throat, awkwardly. "Shane died the night we lost the farm. We lost Lori and T-Dog shortly after we found the prison."

Beth had known it, as soon as she hadn't seen them there, but having it confirmed makes her pause. She hadn't known any of them well except Lori, but there is a grief for them there all the same.

It's then that Carl walks forward, grinning at Beth as he shifts the baby on his hip before holding her out. "This is Judith, my sister."

Beth takes the little girl gladly, cradling her against her chest and looking down into her little face, "Well aren't you precious?" she asks the baby, earning a giggle when she tickles her under the chin. "You look just like your mamma. Daryl! Come and meet her."

Beth holds out the baby with a smile, and Daryl crosses to meet her from where he had been talking with Carol and Glenn, scooping the baby up and bouncing her as she laughs. "You like that, huh, Lil' Asskicker? You like that?"

Beth has a hand on his arm as she grins at the pair of them, until she realises that the others are looking at them, observing them. She drops her hand but doesn't take a step back, wondering why she feels she should need to. It shouldn't be considered strange that Daryl and her have developed a bond after more than a year on their own.

"You two must be hungry," Carol breaks in, "And I think there's lots of stories to tell tonight. How about we all get comfortable?"

There's a bustle of activity as plates and bowls are fetched, and Beth finds herself sitting between her father and sister, a plate of rabbit stew in front of her. A couple of tables over, Daryl sits next to Rick and Glenn, already tucking into his. 

"How did you all find this place?" Beth asks, "What happened after we lost the farm?"

It's Maggie that does the telling, even though Beth gets the feeling that she's skipping parts, but that's okay, when they retell their own story she knows there'll be parts that are left out there as well. So they hear about the night the farm fell, about how they had lost Beth and Daryl, and Andrea as well, about long months on the road as they searched for a safe place for Lori to give birth to her baby, only to find the prison. They hear about the loss of Lori and T-Dog, and about how Andrea has recently come back to them, along with Michonne, and of how Tyreese and his sister Sasha, and others have since joined them.

"Where were you?" Beth asks Andrea when Maggie's tale is done. "How'd you find them again?"

"Tyreese told me about the prison and who was living there, after he came to Woodbury."

"Woodbury!" Beth exclaims, "You were at Woodbury?"

"You know it?" Rick asks, seemingly confused by the revelation.

"We were there for a time," Daryl reveals, his face closed off. "There was a man, called himself The Governor. He still around?"

"He's dead." The woman with the dreadlocks, Michonne, speaks up. "Managed to take most of the place down with him. Some of the survivors have chosen to try and rebuild it, Andrea and I are off to check on the progress tomorrow."

"It's a good thing." Daryl states, "Whoever killed him did everyone a favour."

"Yeah well, that was me." Andrea shrugs, a slight grimace as she reveals it. "Took some time to see what he was, but in the end it had to be done."

"God damn psycho is what he was." Daryl mutters, "Ain't no loss to the world."

"But we haven't heard your story yet," Maggie breaks in, "I still can't believe that you're really here with us. How did you survive on your own for all that time?"

They exchange a look, and nothing needs to be said to understand which parts of the story they would both prefer not to tell for now. There's too much history there, too much to cover in one night with people they haven't seen in over a year. 

It's Beth that begins, she's the better one among the two of them to tell their tale, she knows Daryl wouldn't be comfortable to do so.

"We were running for the cars when I got separated from Lori. I was cut off from her by walkers, and I just ran, looked for a clear space and headed for it. Daryl saw me and came after me, picked me up and we made it back to the farm, but you were all gone by then. We were cut off from the highway, and we needed to wait for the next day, but by the time we could get there you were all gone." Beth pauses, looks at her sister and father to measure their responses, "We waited for a day to see if you'd come back, but nobody did. Headed for Fort Benning next in case you'd gone there, but it was overrun. We left you a message just in case, but from there we had no idea where to look for you next."

The rest remains unsaid, that no message had been left for them. That if one had been, maybe they would've gotten on the road sooner, caught up to the group wherever they were headed. Beth sees the flickers of guilt on the faces of her daddy and sister, and for a moment she regrets the justification she feels. She's waited for this though, waited to be able to show them that they were wrong, that she could survive.

"And after that?" Glenn asks, leaning forward to hear the answer, "Where did you go?"

"We didn't have a direction, we were just trying to find somewhere safe. We were looking for you, but we had no idea where to start. So we just travelled, ran into other people occasionally, but we never found anywhere to settle."

"Well you're home now," Hershel announces, perhaps guessing that Beth isn't ready to say anything more. "It's a blessing, and one I never hoped to be granted." He leans over to kiss the top of her head and Beth feels tears come to her eyes. This is all she'd wanted for so long, to be back with them, to be safe at last.

"Well, let's get your things and move them over, get you settled in here with us." Rick stands, and Daryl follows his movement, pausing as he waits for Beth to reach him. It's an old habit, and one that'll be difficult to let go of. Neither of them is used to being out of the other's sight for too long anymore.

When she's level with him, Beth almost reaches out to take his hand, wanting to give it a reassuring squeeze. She doesn't know what he might think about that in front of the others though, whether he'd be comfortable with her doing it.

They follow Rick through to D Block, and as they walk, Beth observes their former leader. He's not how she remembered him. There's still a sense of purpose in him, yes, but also an uncertainty, a cloud hanging over him. He's lost Lori, has a baby daughter to look after now as well as Carl, and Beth can't help but think that he looks like a man who has the weight of the world on his shoulders, a man who's forgotten how to smile. 

When they reach the cell, Rick's eyes pass briefly over their meagre belongings, and then to them, his gaze flickering as he seems to realise something, coughing before he looks away. 

Beth grabs her pack and bow, then takes the bedding and the sheet hung over the entrance as well, doing a quick sweep of the cell before she nods to show she's ready to Daryl where he stands by the entrance, his own pack and crossbow over his shoulder and his attention focused on Rick, a tension in his brow.

Beth doesn't know what it's about, but there's something bothering Daryl, she can tell it in the way his shoulders have slumped over, his old posture returning once more. 

"We'll, uh, we'll find you some new cells." Rick comments, his eyes not quite meeting theirs. "Hershel will probably want you close, Beth. Daryl, you can take your pick of the empty ones."

That's when she gets it. Rick's reaction to their shared accommodation, his pointed statement about cells rather than asking what they'd prefer. He's waiting now, she knows, waiting for one of them to speak up and argue with him.

 _Oh_ , she thinks, _that's the way it's gonna be_ , She should've known that nobody would think to ask, should've known that they'd all have their own opinions on things without wanting to know hers. She gets it, she knows exactly what's going on here, and it twists her up inside.

 _No_ , Beth wants to tell Rick, _No that's not right, you don't get to make decisions for us without asking, you don't get to think you know what happened_. 

There's a roiling in Beth's gut, and she looks to Daryl only to see his face clouded, the distance creeping in. "Sure," he tells Rick, "See if any of 'em scream 'prison' a little less than the others."

She keeps quiet. Daryl's decided what stance he's going to take and she'll follow him in it. She's followed him long enough and he's never steered her wrong.

Most of the others have headed to their own cells by the time they arrive back to C Block, but Maggie, Glenn and Hershel are all still waiting, waiting to take her to the cell that's been chosen for her.

"Which one are you gonna pick?" Beth asks Daryl, as he stands there, bag over one shoulder, knuckles of one hand white as he grips his crossbow strap.

"Those four up there are free," Rick informs him, and Daryl nods, scanning them quickly.

"I'll take the furthest," he states, "Go grab myself some bedding."

"Oh we've already gotten some for Beth, why don't you take what she's brought?" Maggie breaks in, and without a word, Beth hands it over, allows her fingers to touch his briefly as she does so. 

They take her to the cell they've chosen for her then, and Beth allows herself to look around it, noting that it looks exactly like the one they just vacated. The bed is made in no time, and Maggie is chattering about how soon they'll get her some things to help her make it a bit more homely, and all Beth is focused upon is why Glenn is there with them, a part of the family unit. She'd known that he and Maggie were sneaking around back at the farm, but this, this seems to mean something more.

"Maggie, you and Glenn..." Beth starts, and Maggie laughs suddenly.

"I forget how much there is to tell you! Glenn and I are married, there wasn't a ceremony or anything, just one day, well." She holds out her hand to show Beth the ring and Beth can't help but smile.

"I'm glad to have you as my brother." Beth tells Glenn, and reaches out to hug him. She'd always liked him, ever since they all showed up at the farm, had hoped that things might work out between him and Maggie, as unlikely as it seemed at the time.

"It's so good to have you back at last, Beth," he replies, before looking at both Maggie and Hershel, "Should I leave you all to talk?"

"I'll be turning in now," Hershel announces, "Don't keep your sister up too long, Maggie, she must be tired." He bends to kiss Beth's head before he goes, a hand clasping her shoulder.

"We were so sure you were dead," Maggie sighs, reaching out to take Beth's hand once they are alone, "Lori told us that the last time she saw you, you were running in the opposite direction, walkers after you. We grieved, but we never dared hope."

It stings still, the unquestioning acceptance of her death, the belief that she couldn't possibly have survived, but Beth had expected this. She's known that that's how it was almost since the beginning, that they'd given up on her.

"But I did make it," Beth states firmly, "And I never gave up on you, I always thought we'd find you again. I don't know why you all gave up on Daryl though, you should've known he'd survive."

"We thought maybe he'd gotten himself out when he could, that he was long gone."

The casual way that she says it disturbs Beth, and she shakes her head decisively, "Shows how little you all knew him."

"Well he's kept you safe and brought you back to us, and in my books that means we were wrong." Maggie smiles, before she takes Beth's hand again. "Do you want to talk about what happened while you were away from us? I know it might be tough, but I'm here for you, Beth, anytime you need me."

Beth shakes her head, looking down at her own hands. "Maybe one day, Maggie, but not now. There's a lot of things... There's a lot of things that I don't really want to talk about just yet."

"That's okay." Maggie smooths a hand over Beth's hair, "That's okay."

"I might go to sleep now," Beth shifts slightly under her sister's touch, "It's been so long since I've slept in a real bed, or slept for a whole night without needing to wake for watch."

"I'll leave you to it then, Glenn and I are upstairs if you need us." Then with a kiss on the cheek, Maggie is gone.

Beth tries to sleep, she really does. She closes her eyes and wills her mind to go blank, but she can't feel right, in this narrow, cold bed, alone as she is. So she waits until the noises from the surrounding cells die, waits until all the lights are extinguished, and then she leaves, pads up the stairs in her socks and stops by the furthest doorway, trying to make out his features in the dark.

"Shouldn't you be in your cell?" Daryl's voice is kept low, almost a whisper, but she can see he's already moving over, making more room on the bunk.

"Couldn't sleep, you?"

He _hmmms_ and she climbs in beside him, resting her head on his shoulder as his arm wraps around her, her own going around his waist.

"Wouldn't be happy if they were to find you here."

"Who?"

"Everyone. Thought it was made real clear."

He might be playing it cool, but she can hear the hurt underneath his tone, at the decisions that have been made on their behalf. Beth tightens her arms around him, tucks her head into his neck and wills him to relax. She feels it as he takes several breaths in and then out again, the tension gradually disappearing.

"They don't know shit." Beth finally says, "You hear me, Daryl? They don't know a damn thing, not about either of us. We are who we are now, and they'll need to get to know us again. You don't let anyone tell you who you are, you _know_ who you are."

"Maybe you gotta keep on reminding me." His cheek lies against her hair, and she can feel him breathe in, the slight tremor in the arm that holds her.

"You know I will."

They drift off to sleep together, arms around each other, and Beth knows that this is right, that this is the way it should be. 

She understands how things really are though, and so when Daryl rouses her just before dawn she goes without complaint, slipping back down the stairs and into her cell before anyone else has woken. 

She crawls beneath her own sheets and shuts her eyes, and waits for the day to break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the length of this one makes up for the shortness of the last! Once again a huge thank you to those who reviewed!


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

_Then_

In the week that they stay at the cabin, Daryl teaches her all that he can.

Beth learns how to build a fire so that the smoke doesn't show, lighting the tinder from mirrors and glass. She learns how to set a snare and where to set it, and how to skin and gut the prey once it's been caught. Daryl starts teaching her how to track, but it's still a work in progress by the time they leave. She knows he's happy with how far she's come though, knows it by the way he hums his approval at times or will give her a firm nod when she's gotten something right.

Beth understands that he's teaching her as much for his own sake as hers, so that they have a better chance of surviving, but she can't help the pride she feels whenever she masters a new skill. If only her daddy and Maggie could see her now, tracking through the woods with Daryl Dixon, setting snares and learning how to protect herself.

If only they could see her.

Daryl continues to teach her even once they're back on the road, the cabin left behind. It's not safe anymore to stay too long in one place, not unless there's defences or a larger group, and so they keep moving, keep looking for something better. 

Beth's not sure if any of the places they move on to could be classed as better, but they find food now and again, and sometimes there's beds for the night. She no longer needs to insist that he wake her for her share of watch, Daryl automatically coming to find her once his time is done, before falling into a light slumber. She's not sure if she's reading too much into it, but Beth thinks maybe it's a sign that he's coming to trust her, that he's comfortable placing his life in her hands, even in such a limited way.

It's a revelation to her that she, Beth Greene, is trusted to watch over someone else, to protect them while they sleep. Would her daddy or Maggie have trusted her so, or would they have insisted that she get a full night's sleep as they kept her as protected and innocent as possible? Beth keeps telling herself how surprised they'll be at all the ways she's changed when she sees them again. She keeps telling this to herself, because she's worried that if she stops then that dream will slip away from her just a little bit more each day.

She turns 17 at some point. She's not exactly sure when, she'd forgotten to count the days, it just didn't seem to matter so much anymore. Did she spend her birthday camped out under the stars, after a meal of roast rabbit; or holed up inside an old bookshop, her stomach rumbling with hunger as she'd curled in upon herself between the stacks? Either way, her birthday went unremarked, and she can't bring herself to mind. She was alive for it at least.

She picked up a blank journal and a collection of pens from their night in the store, and she tries to mark the days now in some way, even if only by a sentence or two. Maybe one day she'll give it to Maggie to read, so that she can understand how Beth spent her time while they were apart.

It seems to Beth that they wander the land aimlessly with no goal in mind, but she's learning at least, growing. She is better at killing walkers now, more confident to engage them by herself when there's only one or two to deal with. Daryl has begun to allow her to take point at times when the danger is not too great, always ready with his crossbow raised incase he's needed.

They've been on the road maybe five weeks when the bike dies, the engine refusing to turn over. Daryl gives it a half hearted kick, swears under his breath and then walks a few paces away, looking into the distance for a moment before he shakes his head, turning back to her.

"C'mon, it'll take us longer to find a place for the night without it."

"But we'll come back for it?" Beth asks, "You've had it such a long time, it seems a shame to just leave it."

"Nah," Daryl gives the bike a rueful look before he turns to Beth, "Was never mine, S'my brother Merle's. I was just looking after it."

"I never knew you had a brother, what happened to him?" 

It reminds her how little they really know about each other, even after these last weeks together. Daryl doesn't speak much, seems to avoid it unless he really needs to. Beth's aware that she can chatter at times so he probably knows more about her than she does about him, but he's never really seemed to mind.

"Went on a run with Glenn and the others to Atlanta, that's when they found Rick. Ended up getting handcuffed to a roof and left behind when T-Dog lost the key."

The idea horrifies Beth and she knows it's apparent on her face, "That's awful! Did he die?"

"Nah, he's a dumbass, but only Merle can kill Merle. We were comin' back for him. He didn't wait though, cut off his own hand to get out of the cuffs, then cauterised it. Stole our ride and haven't seen him since."

Beth isn't sure just what Daryl feels about it from the story he's told, but she needs to say something anyway. Even if Merle's alive, they might never see him again, just like... She's lost a brother too, she knows how much it can hurt. "I'm sorry."

"S'okay." Daryl shrugs, and shoulders his pack, "Nothing to be done about it now."

And so they leave the bike there by the side of the road, and Beth wonders if Daryl has marked the spot in his mind somehow, if he'd come back for it one day if given the chance, or if it honestly means so little to him. She is still collecting her bag when she sees him pocket the keys, but as they walk away he doesn't look back once. Beth knows though, she knows it's cost him something to leave this last remnant of his brother behind, that it's another type of goodbye.

"My brother, Shawn," Beth begins that night, as they are each eating half of the squirrel that Daryl managed to bring down, too small to fill them but something to stave off the hunger for awhile. "He was so annoyingly overprotective. First time he caught me kissing Jimmy, he nearly broke his nose. Told him to get off the farm and not to come back. He could make me so mad, and we'd fight like cats and dogs, but I miss him, I'll always miss him."

The silence stretches on, and Beth's okay with that. She doesn't need Daryl to share about his brother if he doesn't want to, all she'd wanted to do was let him know that she had a brother of her own that she missed, that it was okay to feel that, that she understood.

"My brother... He could be a huge pain the ass."

She almost starts when he speaks, not having expected it, but Daryl's looking down at his hands, and Beth stays quiet, waiting for him to finish.

"Got himself into trouble more times than I can count, and usually up to me to get him out. Wasn't around much when I was a kid, first juvie and then the army, but he came to get me, soon as I turned 18, was following him around since then. Might not have been much, but he was my brother, had my back when he could."

"You miss him." Beth speaks softly, wondering if Daryl will take it badly, as an accusation of weakness. He just shrugs though, and returns to gnawing on his half of the squirrel. As little as has actually been said, Beth understands that Daryl has trusted her with a part of himself, and she will not allow that trust to be betrayed. 

Burying the bones in the remains of the fire pit, she curls up on her side, back against a tree, and watches him, watches as he settles himself down for watch, pulling his hunting knife out to inspect it, the cloth from his back pocket in hand to wipe it down as needed.

They might not know each other very well yet, but Beth thinks that they're getting somewhere, maybe not a friendship just yet, but there is an understanding of sorts between them now. She drifts off to sleep, her last view before it claims her of Daryl intent upon his task, steady in motion as he polishes the knife to a sheen.

//

They've been on the road for almost two months when they finally find other people.

It has been so long since they'd seen anyone that Beth has sometimes wondered if they're the last two people left alive in the world. 

They're scavenging an old gas station when a voice hails them, shocking Beth so badly that she almost drops her bag. She regains control quickly, drawing the gun that had been tucked into the back of her pants.

"Woah there, no need for that! I don't mean you any harm, just wanted to talk." The man pauses where he is, a shotgun slung over his shoulder, his hands up in a gesture of peace. "You two camped out around here?"

"Just passing through." Daryl hasn't lowered the crossbow, and Beth tries to see with his eyes just what sort of threat this man could be, on the wrong side of fifty and looking more like a school teacher than a fighter. "We'll be on our way now."

"You looking to join a group? We've got a community, could use some more able bodies like yours. The way you hold that crossbow, seems you know how to protect yourself."

"Could say that," Daryl is wary, Beth can see it by his stance, but she also knows this is what they've been looking for, a group to provide them with protection until they find the others. "How many people you got in this group of yours?"

"Nine for now - five men, three women and one kid. If you want to follow me, then I could show you, let you see our setup before you decide."

It could be a trap. It could mean their death or worse, and Beth sees Daryl struggle to make the decision for them. 

"We'll follow ya," he finally says, "Anything funny and you'll get an arrow straight in the back."

They tread behind him, to what turns out to be an old Bed and Breakfast about 3km out of town the town, surrounded by low walls. It's a beautiful place, and as they approach Beth can see a small vegetable garden with crops growing and a chicken coop. It reminds her of the farm in a way, an ache rising within her before she quells it.

"Are you two, uh, together?" The man glances back, his gaze shifting between them.

"The hell sorta question is that?" Daryl questions, anger on his face, and the man turns hastily away. "We're just travelling together, ain't nothing funny going on."

"Alright then," the man replies peaceably, seemingly more settled now. "I'm Richard, by the way. You'll meet my wife Deborah and the others once we arrive. Then we'll get you settled."

There might be low walls to protect them but Beth can't help thinking that one big herd would get through here easily. They'll have to see about making it stronger if they're going to stay. For now she focuses on meeting the rest of the small community as they emerge. Apart from Richard there's four other men - Frank, Jim, Craig and Greg. There's also Richard's wife Deborah, and two other women, Cindy and Anna, and Cindy's boy Tom, who's almost fourteen.

It's overwhelming at first, meeting so many strangers after the months they've spent alone, but Beth pulls herself together in order to chat with the women, trying to glean information from them about the setup here.

"You want separate rooms?" Deborah asks, as she prepares to lead them to where they'll be sleeping after the best dinner they've had since the farm fell. Beth looks quickly at Daryl before replying, hoping he won't object to her answer.

"You got one with twin beds? Just, you know, while we settle in."

The woman nods and takes them to a suitable room, a pretty space with lace edged cloths on the night stand and quilts on the beds. It's like something out of a magazine, out of another lifetime, and it doesn't feel quite real to Beth.

"Look like someone's grandmother's house," Daryl mutters, looking around the room along with her. "You ever stayed in a place like this?"

Beth shakes her head, "We usually stayed in motels when we went away, somewhere nice but not too expensive. Mamma would've loved a place like this though, was always telling Daddy that they should go away together now that we were grown up." She sits down on the bed as she rifles through her pack, looking for the toothbrush she keeps. "What about you?"

"Me?" Daryl scoffs, "I ain't never been on holiday. When I was travelling around with Merle, he'd usually just find the shittiest motel around so there'd be more money for getting high. Even then he'd sometimes get us kicked out."

Beth processes that, waits to see if he will offer more and then gives him a small smile. "Maybe we should think of this as your first holiday then, it is in a way. A holiday from the road."

Daryl snorts, but there's a quirk to his lips that Beth knows means he's found the humour in what she's said. She's never seen him laugh out loud, but sometimes there's moments like these when she knows she's managed to lighten him for a time. 

Soon they've both settled for the night, the light now faded, and lying under the soft quilt, her fingers tracing patterns on it, Beth finally asks what she's been wanting to since the afternoon.

"Why were you so angry when he asked if we were together? 'Cause I'm so young?"

There's a long silence, and Beth wonders if she's said the wrong thing, something that'll put him in a mood, the kind where he won't speak in more than monosyllables or grunts for days. She rolls over onto her side to look at him then, and he's staring up at the ceiling. 

Daryl twists his head to look in her direction, and then back to the ceiling again, keeping his eyes averted even in the dark. "S'part of it. You know what it means to people who see us, girl like you with a guy like me? I ain't some asshole that'll take advantage of a girl who needs protection. Not gonna have them think that."

"Oh," Beth hadn't thought if it that way, how it might look to someone on the outside, a mismatched pair like them travelling together. She understands Daryl's vehemence now, and why he'd been so offended. It crosses her mind that maybe she should've been worried about that, back in the beginning when they didn't know each other as well. She could've been unlucky, she could've ended up with a man who would've expected that from her. Instead she has Daryl, who Beth knows will never allow any harm to come to her if he can help it, who she's begun to suspect would be loyal to his last breath. "I won't let them think it either. You're a good man, Daryl Dixon."

A slow intake of breath, and then, "Nah, just not a particularly bad one."

Beth laughs, shakes her head even though he can't see it in the dark. "I'd say that's one and the same, especially these days. Say what you want, but I'm not gonna stop believing it."

She wishes she could see his expression, that there was a light she could turn on to allow him to see the sincerity in hers. All Beth can see is the outline of his hand as he brings it up to his mouth, knows from weeks spent watching him that he must be chewing on a nail.

"Go to sleep, Greene." Daryl finally tells her, as much of an acknowledgement of the statement as she'll get.

"Good night, Daryl." Beth whispers back, before turning on her side towards the wall, and allowing herself to close her eyes. "If you're staying up to keep watch then you wake me for my turn."

Daryl makes a noise to signal he will, and Beth allows her eyes to close. They may be surrounded by four walls, in this ridiculous reminder of what the world used to be, but he'll watch over them anyway, making sure they're protected from whatever may come.

All Beth hopes is that she may be able to shoulder a little of that burden.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was blown away by the response to the last chapter, you have no idea how happy good reviews make me! I'll be trying my hardest to get chapters up quickly, but between a baby who seems to have an aversion to sleep and a full time job I sometimes run behind schedule.
> 
> A great deal of this fic was written to Hold Back the River by James Bay, which seemed to fit it for some reason.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

_Now_

"You understand why I did it?"

Daryl's tempted to ask Rick just what that 'it' is, though he knows perfectly well what Rick is referring to. Still, there's something in Daryl that rebels against the calm acceptance of the night before, against the decisions that have been made for them.

"Maybe you should explain it to me. Might be too difficult to get my tiny redneck brain around."

Rick gives him a look, and all Daryl can think is that he's once again more than a year in the past, once again the man he used to be. That's the man that these people see, not the one he's become. He remembers, vaguely, that he'd been in the process of proving himself to them, that he and Rick had been building up trust. That seems to be gone now, too much time passed and they need to begin all over again. Daryl knows he should be putting his best foot forward, as Beth would say, but there's also a part of him that doesn't want to try.

They've already made up their minds, Rick has at least.

Rick clears his throat, awkward as only someone about to discuss what he is can be. "You and Beth... Hershel and Maggie have just gotten her back. To them she's still a young girl, like she was when we lost you both. They wouldn't be happy to know anything is going on, needs time is all."

"And you think you know what's going on?" Daryl knows his tone is combative, that he's pushing, but he's not gonna take this lying down. More than a year on their own, and the first day back there's the sheriff thinking he can tell them how they'll take things.

"What is going on then?" Rick asks, his tone calming, like one would speak to a spooked animal.

"Forget it." Daryl mutters, "Don't matter, won't make no difference. We're back, and things'll be how they'll be. You tell me something though, what happened to Shane?"

"I killed him."

There's a darkness in Rick as he says it, and Daryl waits for more, for some indication of why, 'cause the man he knew, that man didn't used to kill in cold blood.

"He took me out that night, planning to kill me. I did what I had to do, what I needed to do."

Daryl nods, he understands it, knew the direction that Shane was headed in. "Killed Randall too, sent us on a fool's errand so he could get you alone."

Rick sighs, pausing to look out towards the fences as he thinks about his next words. "We should have waited, or left a message. Shouldn't have given up on you so quickly."

Daryl shrugs, Rick's acknowledgement isn't going to change anything that happened to them over those months. It's a strange thing, but when he thinks back on it he's not sure that he would wish it changed. If they'd remained with the group then would he have become the man that he is today? Would he have gained all that he has, precious and still unable to be properly named?

"We got through. Wasn't easy, but we did." It's all he can say on the subject, all he will say. Let Beth answer the questions as she wishes. The story might be both of theirs, but it doesn't make any difference to him if it never comes to light. He places that choice in her hands, as he's placed so many others.

"Just wanted you to know that I'm not judging," Rick's tone is low, soft, careful so as not to be overheard, "You were on your own for a long time with nobody else to rely on, and things aren't what they were. It's just, Maggie and Hershel... I need to keep the peace here, I don't want to have to make a difficult decision."

"Like whether to kick me out?" Daryl should be more bitter about it, but instead he's just resigned. Isn't this what he's had his whole life, that sort of judgement? Out there with her, he'd forgotten for awhile. Thought it was behind him now, with everything else the world lost along the way. He chuckles then, a low, dark sound. "Send the hillbilly back to the woods where he belongs?"

"Daryl..."

"You keep the peace all you want, I won't be cutting it up." Daryl shakes his head, looks towards the east fence where the walkers are starting to build up, and rolling his shoulders back, leans down to grab a crowbar from the bin of weapons he's been standing next to. "Gonna see about the fence, if there's time then I might go hunting later."

He can feel the Rick's eyes on him as he walks away and he makes himself focus on the fence in front of him, the crowbar gripped tightly in his hand.

Everyone's got jobs to do, and right now he's chosen his.

//

He's not surprised when Carol seeks him out later, setting her bowl down on the table beside him as they take the midday meal.

He's been watching Beth, trying not to be too obvious about it, as she sits with Maggie and Hershel, Judith balanced on her lap as she alternates between feeding the baby and herself. At one point she sends a bright smile in his direction, waving the baby's small hand at him, and he can't help his lips from quirking in return. There's something about seeing her here, safe and surrounded by her family, the soft look on her face as she coos at the child.

"Knew you weren't dead," Carol comments, her gaze fixed on his face, "Knew you wouldn't have abandoned us either."

"Don't matter no more," Daryl shrugs, "Already had this talk with Rick."

"Yeah well, just wanted you to know that there was someone who wanted to wait." Carol nods in Beth's direction, then back at Daryl, "You did good, keeping her alive."

Daryl snorts at that, shakes his head briefly as he spoons up more of the stew they're serving. "Wasn't me, girl kept herself alive, kept me alive at times too. She's strong, you all don't know it yet, but she is."

Carol looks back at Beth again, as if considering her more carefully this time, then nods. "She'd have to be, to survive out there all this time. I think maybe there's a lot of things we haven't realised about her yet, about you. You've both changed."

"Anyone who hasn't?" Daryl juts his chin in Carol's direction, looking at her pointedly.

"Last time you saw me, I was scared of my own shadow." She laughs self deprecatingly, "I had to change if I wanted to survive, and I do want to. So I changed."

"Not a bad thing."

"No," she looks at him carefully now, as if measuring him. There's a trace of approval in her eyes before she looks away. "Not a bad thing."

//

It's afternoon by the time they head out, each with their bows strapped to their back. He'd reappeared in the mess hall with his after lunch was done, cocked his head towards one side at her in question and she'd understood.

Beth had passed Judith gently over to Maggie, spoken in a low voice to her father, and after collecting her own bow she had joined him, ready for the hunt.

Daryl hadn't paid attention to the eyes that had followed them out. He'd met Hershel's gaze calmly, refusing to be intimidated by the man. He sure as hell wasn't going to ask his permission to take his daughter out beyond the fences. After all Beth's been through she can decide for herself where she'd like to be and what she wants to be doing. For all he can see that she adores Ricks's kid, she ain't no babysitter, and it would be a waste to have her take on that role when she could be doing more.

So they head towards the gates, Beth waving at Karen as she lets them out, and make their way into the woods.

They don't talk at first. There's work to be done and dinner to be caught, and they both know they need to be quiet while doing so. Within a couple of hours they've caught three rabbits and two squirrels, and Daryl's decided that's enough for today, gesturing with a jerk of his head that they should turn back. They've already had to dispatch four walkers, and even in the early afternoon the shadows are growing longer.

"You talk to anyone yet?" Beth asks him, her voice kept purposely quiet.

"Rick. Carol. Was busy on the fence earlier."

Beth nods, keeping her eyes on the path her feet make through the leaves. "Saw you talking with Carol earlier at lunch. What'd Rick say?"

"Wanted to know if I understood why he did what he did. Laid down the law." Daryl's lips twist, and he glances at her quickly. "Says he doesn't want trouble."

"There won't be any trouble," Beth insists, with a huff of annoyance. "Daddy asked what happened while we were gone, if I was to tell him..."

Daryl shrugs, "You tell him what you want. Best hope he believes you though, or our friend the sheriff will throw me out."

"He said that?" Beth's tone is shocked, her eyes wide.

"Said he didn't want to choose. Already know what that choice would be." Daryl struggles with the anger the words brings, stamps it down deep inside himself and refuses to let it rise. Not now, not with her.

There's a light touch on his hand then and he looks down at her, looks into those wide blue eyes he knows so well by now, feels the calmness seep into him.

"You know I'd go with you, if that decision was made." Her fingers brush against his, before she curls her fingertips within his grasp, holding on.

Maybe it should surprise him, this declaration of hers. She has more to lose, a beloved father and sister, finally found after more than a year apart. He knows it though, knows it in his bones that if he were to be sent out those gates then nothing would stop her from departing along with him.

It didn't need to be said, he'd known it anyway, but she's spoken the words and there's something in that, in her affirmation.

"Yeah," he hears his tone soften, can feel his lips quirk upwards slightly, thinks maybe he can tell the moment when his heartbeat increases, "Yeah I do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, a huge thank you to everyone who reviewed or left kudos! You consistently make my day :)


	8. Chapter 8

Trigger warning for discussions mentioning sexual exploitation and rape.

 

**Chapter Eight**

_Then_

They fall into a routine quickly among the small community at the Bed and Breakfast.

Beth notices that at first Daryl tries to keep her as close as possible, still not entirely ready to trust these people, and so they spend time together hunting, or completing tasks they're assigned in the garden or the buildings. Daryl takes it upon himself to reinforce the defences, and on his advice they're soon all digging pits around the walls, and searching for materials to make spikes.

It's good, hard, honest work, and at the end of the day Beth can fall exhausted into her bed, muscles aching, and drift into a dreamless sleep, feeling as if she's helped to accomplish something. These people are safer now because she and Daryl have joined them, they've got a better chance of surviving. They might have lost their own group but that's something, something to be proud about.

The second week comes around, and Daryl begins to leave her for longer periods, as Beth is relegated to indoor or garden tasks with the other women and Tom. Tom is quiet, never seeming to want to interact with any of them, his eyes kept mainly to the ground. She speaks to the women though, and Beth learns that Richard and Deborah used to manage the B&B before the turn, that Frank had worked for them, while they found the others along the way. Beth learns that Frank and Anna are together, while Cindy is with Greg.

"Have you been together long?" She asks Cindy, seeking to make conversation, "Did you know each other before everything happened, or was it after?"

"No, it was after. He found us, me and Tom. We were holed up in our house, down to our last few cans of food and desperate for anyone to help, and he brought us back here."

"That was lucky," Beth comments, as she continues to chop vegetables for the evening meal, "And then you ended up together." She gives Cindy a smile, thinking about the way things work out even in the worst of times.

"Well, you know how it is now." Cindy comments with a shrug, and the look on her face confuses Beth, a type of resignation, but Beth nods anyway, thinking of all the reasons for that look. There's not so much choice in life anymore, but it's possible there's someone that Cindy still misses, whether it's Tom's father or another man.

Anna has a similar story, and once it's told they resume talking of other things, of their families and where they lived, of what they miss, and things they've discovered after the turn. 

It reminds Beth of the farm again, of preparing dinner with Patricia and Maggie, of talking with Lori and Andrea, and she wonders once again just where they are and how they're doing. The days are getting cooler as autumn progresses and she hopes they've found somewhere safe for Lori to have the baby, somewhere where they can all survive.

She and Daryl will find that place yet, she knows they will. Beth's not ready to give up, she knows that's not what them being here with these people is. It's a stop along the way, a chance to rest and grow stronger, but they won't stop looking, they'll never stop looking.

Every afternoon, after the day's work is done, she and Daryl go out beyond the walls to continue her training. Beth tries not to get overconfident, but she knows she's getting good at tracking. She might never be as good at Daryl, but she can now tell the different prints apart, and has a sense for how fresh they are. It reminds her of the mystery novels she used to read sometimes, of piecing the clues together to try to figure out the ending before it was revealed.

Daryl still does the actual killing. His crossbow is too heavy for her to load, and Beth's gun would be too loud, and a waste of bullets besides. She wants to learn more though, it's been a long time since target practice on the farm, and while her knife work has definitely gotten better her aim with a gun remains untested. They'll have to see about that though, there's not exactly bullets to spare these days, and unless they can find her a better weapon, Beth might never become a proper hunter.

She values it, these times when it's just the two of them, whether she's learning or training or just trudging quietly through the woods at his side. They might have found people, but they're not _their_ people, not in the way the group at the farm was. Maybe they never will be, Beth isn't sure that they'll stick around long enough for that to happen. Winter is just around the corner and Daryl wants them to spend it here, protected from the elements. Come spring though, maybe it'll be time that they were on their way.

That's the thing though, which way should they head if they decide to leave? Beth is aware of precisely how unlikely it is that they'll ever see the others again, that any of them may die before they're ever reunited. Rick may have moved them out of the state for all Beth knows. She has to keep hope alive though, for both their sakes, because the idea of never seeing her father or Maggie again sinks inside her, creating a dark well that threatens to overwhelm her. 

There's a deep sadness when she thinks about it, but not the fear that she might have expected. There had been, the first few weeks after they first found themselves alone. Beth might have been determined to survive but she wasn't stupid, she understood exactly what the chances were that she'd ever live to see her eighteenth birthday. Lately though, that fear has faded. It's not even about having found the B&B and the small community there, it's what she's learned while on the road, and what she can feel herself becoming. Beth feels like she's in the process of shedding her skin, to emerge newly made into the world. It's strange to think that just a little over three months ago she had been safe in her own house, ignoring the end of the world as best she could, unknowing of what was really out there.

Now she knows. She wouldn't close her eyes to it again even if she could. She's not invincible but she is prepared, and Beth thinks that maybe, as long as her and Daryl stick together, they can make it.

She hasn't told him this, doesn't know how he might react if she did. Daryl might scoff at her naivety, but there's also a chance that he might go quiet like he sometimes does, face turned away and unable to meet her eyes. There's things that Daryl won't say, but Beth likes to think that she's grown a bit better at interpreting those silences.

It's 3pm now by the old clock on the wall, and almost time for him to come and collect her now that the days are growing shorter, as Beth stands in the kitchen with the other women, making fruit preserves to last the winter. It seems like such a ridiculously normal thing to be doing, and she's allowed her mind to wander while the others chat, thinking of times she would stand in her own kitchen with her mamma, following the family recipes for jam.

She's lost in her memories when there's a sudden lull in the conversation, and Beth turns around to find that Richard has entered the kitchen, and is paused in the doorway.

"Ladies," he greets them, before turning to his wife and giving her a significant look, "I need to have a conversation with Beth."

Deborah glances at Beth briefly, her expression suddenly closed off and guarded before she nods at the other ladies, leading them out. Looking at him standing there in the doorway, Beth feels a momentary panic before she quashes it, it can't be...

"It's not about Daryl is it? He's not..."

"No, no, Daryl is fine." Richard waves a hand dismissively and takes a seat on a bar stool as Beth continues to stand, the knife she's been using to cut the fruit clutched tightly in her fist. "Actually, Beth, we need to have a talk about your place here in this community."

"My place? I don't understand."

Richard picks up one of the uncut apples, biting down on it as he considers her. "The world has changed now, Beth, I'm sure you're aware of that. Now everyone has to pull their weight, they have to contribute in some way. Daryl, he's a real asset to the community, he's earned his place here. I've been waiting to give you time to settle in here, but now it's time that we come to an agreement on your place."

"But I have been contributing!" Beth protests, confused by the purpose behind the conversation. "I've been working just as hard as anyone else, you can ask Deborah if you don't believe me."

Richard waves a hand as if to dismiss her statement. "That's all well and good, but if a large group of biters was to come through tomorrow, or some unfriendly strangers, then it would the men of this community that would protect us, and those same men need a reason to do so, a reason to stay here with us, they need to be looked after. I'm sure you know what I mean."

"No," Beth whispers, even as her heart sinks and she realises that she does, "No I don't."

"Now don't look at me like that," Richard protests, "We're not monsters, we're not about to force you into anything against your will, but you're unattached and there's two men here who are in need of a woman. Not that easy to come by women anymore. It's not like you have no choice in the matter, we'll let you decide which of them you want. Both Craig and Jim are good men as you must have realised by now."

"But Daryl..."

"Daryl said it himself that you weren't together, so he's not part of the choice, it's about seniority here. I'll even give you a few days to make up your mind."

"You think I'd ever agree to this?" Beth raises her voice, the knife handle gripped harder in her palm and her thoughts drifting to the gun tucked into the back of her waistband as she glares at the man in front of her, "You think Daryl will let you do this either?"

"He will if he wants a place for both of you here," Richard comments, his voice now flat, "Winter's coming soon, think you'll be able to survive out there on your own? Think there's not worse men out there, men who wouldn't give you a choice, who wouldn't think twice about sharing you amongst them?" 

She sees him now, this man whom she'd regarded as harmless, as a decent man who could be somebody's grandfather. She sees him for what he is, a man willing to sell a woman's choice for the sake of his own safety.

"There might be worse men, but you're no less of a monster." Beth bites out, "Think this is a choice you're giving me? A choice about who gets to rape me? That's what it is, that's what you've done to Cindy and Anna too, isn't it?"

"You think this shelter and food comes for free? Cindy and Anna pay for their protection, and you will too."

"What's goin' on here?"

Beth has never been so glad to hear Daryl's voice in her life, and as she turns to find him at the back door to the kitchen, she lets out a sob, crossing quickly to his side. He glances down to the knife in her hand, before looking back up to take in the otherwise empty kitchen and Richard perched on the bar stool. "I said, what's goin' on here?"

"I was just explaining to Beth about the way the world works now." There is a slight line of tension across Richard's forehead, but he hasn't moved, and doesn't seem inclined to do so. "We've all got to pay our way. You do by your hunting and your fighting skills. Beth though... There's a couple of lonely men here, and she needs to choose one of them, just as Cindy and Anna have done."

"You sick son of a bitch," Daryl goes to move towards him, stopped only by Beth's hand on his arm as Frank and Tom enter the kitchen, seemingly drawn by the raised voices.

"All okay, Richard?" Frank asks, his hand on his own knife as he keeps his eyes on Daryl, who has raised his crossbow on the new arrivals.

"We'll be getting our shit, and then we're going." Daryl announces, "Anyone who tries to stop us will get an arrow in the eye."

He jerks his head at Beth indicating to her to stay behind him and she edges back, glad to have him between her and the others. 

"There's no need for any violence," Richard interrupts, "As I told Beth, we're not monsters, it was always her choice. You're free to go, I was just setting out the terms for if you wanted to stay. Tom, why don't you run upstairs and grab their bags for them?" The boy nods, and Richard watches him go before he continues. "You should reconsider though, once you leave there's no coming back. You really think you can make it on your own out there?"

"We'll do just fine by ourselves." Beth tells him, her voice shaky. Daryl's knuckles are white and she can tell how hard he's gripping the crossbow, even as he angles his body in front of hers, lines of hard muscle and determination. There are a tense few minutes as they wait until Tom reappears, holding both of their bags.

"Escort them out, Tom. Make sure they leave the property." Richard commands, and the boy nods as he hands over the bags to Beth, who shoulders them both to allow Daryl to keep his focus on the crossbow. 

He backs them out of the kitchen slowly, never taking his eyes off the other men until they've made it outside and then swinging the door shut. Even as they make their way down the driveway to the road, Daryl walks backwards, his crossbow still trained on the building, looking for movement from within it.

They make the gate safely, and as Beth hands over Daryl's pack to him, she turns to look at Tom, who is avoiding both of their gazes.

"You know, you and your mom could join us. She doesn't have to stay here, with them."

Tom shakes his head, finally looking up at Beth, and when he does she sees what she was never able to before, the anger that is burning within him. "We'd never make it on our own out there, that's the only reason that she stays here, to protect us." The boy takes a deep breath then, turning back to look at the house. "I'm only fourteen now, but I'm getting bigger and I'm getting stronger and soon maybe..."

Beth nods as Daryl stays silent, and on a sudden whim, she pulls the gun from her waistband and holds it out to Tom, nodding as he looks up at her.

"Take it, and keep it hidden." Beth tells him, her voice kept low, "Just in case."

The boy nods, and reaches out his hand to take the gun, gripping it tightly before he hides it beneath his shirt.

Daryl jerks his head towards the road then and Beth turns to follow him, feeling his hand on her back to press her forward, ensuring that she's beside him.

She turns back only once before the B&B disappears from view to see Tom still standing by the fence post, watching them go.

//

Daryl sets a hard pace for them both but Beth understands why. It's almost dark, and they need to find a safe place to stop for the night, somewhere far enough away just in case Richard has changed his mind about letting them go. She's tried not to think about what happened as they've walked, tried to shut it away and concentrate on her steps instead, putting one foot in front of the other.

Daryl hasn't commented on her giving away their only gun to the boy, and even though Beth knows that it was foolish she can't bring herself to regret it. She thinks of the look in Tom's eyes, the powerless anger that she'd seen there, and she knows she had to do it, in order to give him a chance. Maybe Daryl understood that too, maybe Daryl agreed with her.

He doesn't speak until they've finally stopped for the night, high in the hayloft of an old barn they'd spotted just as dusk was falling, the ladder drawn up behind them. There's no food tonight, and the air is cold around them, the chill of late autumn obvious in the air. It reminds Beth of just what they've lost in forsaking the community. Winter is only a couple of weeks away and they have no shelter and almost no food stores, all of their clothing inadequate for the months ahead.

"I'm sorry," Beth tells him, not even sure why she's saying it, except as a general acknowledgement of the situation, "If I..."

"You're sorry?" Daryl growls, shaking his head, "What the hell do you have to be sorry for? Not your fault the world has gone to shit, and men like that are left in charge. S'my fault this happened."

"Of course it isn't," Beth protests, "Neither of us knew, they just..."

"If anyone asks from now on, anyone at all, then you're with me." Daryl grinds out, his gaze fixed on her as if to imprint the seriousness of it. "You hear me, Beth? Don't matter what anyone thinks, let 'em think what they want about me. But you, you're with me. Won't let it happen again."

Tears come to Beth's eyes as she looks at him and Daryl turns abruptly away, angrily jamming his knife into the wooden boards beside him. It doesn't take more than a second for Beth to cross to him and before she can think about it she's thrown her arms around him, her head tucked into his shoulder as her arms go around his waist, sniffing as she tries to hold back her tears. 

For a moment Daryl is still, and then she feels one hand come up, briefly cupping her elbow before he lets her go, his face still turned from hers.

"Best get some rest," Daryl announces, "I'll take first watch, we have a long way to go tomorrow. Need to find some food, start searching for a place to hole up for the winter."

"We can do it," Beth promises him as she pulls back, removing her arms from his waist, "We'll find somewhere, you'll see."

Daryl nods once, and turns to face the barn's door, intent on beginning his watch. Lying down, Beth prepares to go to sleep, the familiar feel and smell of the hay comforting around her. Turning on her side, she shuffles herself backwards until her shoulder hits Daryl's knee where he sits cross legged, the weight of him comforting against her.

It takes time for Beth to fall asleep, to allow her breathing to slow and her thoughts to drift after all that has happened. She's not certain, she couldn't say for sure, but as she allows herself to fall into a light sleep she could swear that she feels the touch of a hand upon her hair, the fingers lightly resting there before they drop away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thank you to everyone who has left a review, they mean the world to me.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

_Now_

It's strange how little time it takes to fall into a routine.

Beth thinks that after that long spent on the road it should have taken her more time to get comfortable, to feel anything but alien within four walls. They've had places of sanctuary along the way, but none that lasted long, none that ever felt like more than a temporary halt on the way to somewhere else.

This - this feels permanent, as permanent as you can get these days anyway.

It's a good set up. Rick's farm keeps the prison in fresh vegetables, meanwhile the pigs they're raising will be a ready source of meat for the future. For the moment though, they need to hunt and trap to keep themselves fed, and it quickly becomes part of Beth's routine, the trips she takes beyond the fences with Daryl to check the snares and to track game.

She can still remember the look of surprise on everyone's faces the first time they'd come back from a hunt, when Daryl had casually mentioned that Beth had bagged two of the rabbits herself. Beth knows there was really nothing casual about it - he'd wanted them to know. Since that day there's been no expression of doubt as to her skills from any of their group when she chooses to accompany Daryl. It's a small victory, but it's one that she will take nonetheless.

The rest of her days follow predictable patterns. There's walkers to clear along the fences, chores to do in the kitchen or laundry, turns at babysitting Judith or the other children. It all feels so incredibly normal to her that Beth can't help but feel abnormal in her bones.

Beth doesn't quite know what to do with normality anymore, what to do with stability. She finds herself wondering just when the moment will come that they have to run, when the bubble will finally burst. She may have some belongings scattered around her cell now, but she still keeps her bag packed and ready to grab at a moment's notice. Her weapons are never far from her hands, and she tries to keep Daryl in her sight as much as possible.

For so long he's all she's had, and now surrounded by the others she can't help but feel crowded, can't help but feel that she's lost something. It's strange, that. She'd spent so long thinking about finding them that she never stopped to consider how things might change once they did. Never stopped to think about how she'd changed.

Beth wouldn't undo what's happened for the world, she's so grateful to have her father and sister back, and to be with their friends once again. She wishes though... Oh how she wishes.

It's not as if he's distanced himself, he hasn't, not really. Anywhere that she is, he's likely to be found nearby, engaged in some task or other but watching over her nonetheless. Beth doesn't even need to look for him to feel his presence, to know that he's close. Time alone is precious now though, and when they're out in the woods it's a struggle to remain focused on the task when there's so much else she wishes she could do. 

Nights are another matter, after all the others have gone to sleep. She doesn't go to him every night, there's too much risk in that, but Beth takes her chances when she can. She knows she won't sleep properly unless she can feel at least one of his hands upon her, unless she can inhale his scent, know that he is there with her.

Daryl is not entirely distant, he's not out of reach, but it's so very different to how it was when they were on the road. Beth can tell that now he thinks a dozen times before every word, gesture, or touch, considering how they might be interpreted if seen.

Beth wishes that he wouldn't, she wishes that they could be as they were, as they're meant to be. She knows on some level that he's right though.

They have been too long away from what passes for society, and for all that the others might say they understand, they really don't. It will take time for them to get it, it will take time for them to accept that she's no longer the same girl they'd lost, that somewhere along the way she's passed into adulthood as part of her very own baptism by fire.

This morning she stands next to Maggie, folding washing as their part of today's duty roster. Beth knows that Daryl is out on a run with Glenn, searching for winter clothes for their expanded population.

It's just her and Maggie here in the laundry room, and the repetitive actions as they fold and sort each item is soothing. Beth hasn't spent as much time with her sister as she maybe should've since her return, if she's honest then a part of her has been avoiding Maggie and the questions she's likely to ask. It's... Difficult. She knows what Maggie sees when she looks at her, knows that she expects her to once again be that old Beth and for nothing to have changed between them and that it confuses her when this isn't the case. Beth doesn't know what to say to Maggie that might explain it, she doesn't know where to begin.

She can tell that her sister is working her way up to something though, by the looks that she keeps shooting in Beth's direction. Maggie might think she's not being obvious, but Beth knows her big sister too well, no matter how much time has passed.

"It must have been hard at first, being stuck with Daryl. I remember he didn't used to be the friendliest guy."

Beth looks across at Maggie and then shrugs, "It was hard. We didn't know each other, and I had no idea if I'd ever see you or Daddy again. But we knew we needed each other to survive, and that was somewhere to start." Beth shakes her head as she remembers those days, the uncertainty and fear of what lay ahead. "I couldn't have made it if it wasn't for him. He taught me everything I needed to know."

Maggie is quiet for a few moments, thoughtful, as she continues to fold, hands smoothing over a shirt that Beth recognises as Glenn's. "It's funny, I would never have thought that about him before. He never seemed like the type who'd do that, look after someone besides himself."

"You all just saw what you wanted to see," Beth responds, keeping her tone purposefully calm, "You don't remember how he searched for that little girl, or everything else he did to keep us safe while at the farm? He was always that kind of man, it's just that nobody recognised it."

Beth thinks of the Daryl that she knows, of the man who has in some way or another always craved for what he never had - for a family, for respect, for loyalty. They have found that in each other, what remains to be seen is if he can find it within the wider group.

Maggie looks at Beth carefully for a moment before she nods, turning back to her own pile. "Maybe I've just forgotten. We never knew them that well back at the farm, I don't think I knew anyone except Glenn really well until we were on the road together."

"It must have been hard, before you found the prison, for Lori especially." Beth muses, her voice quiet. "But you had each other, and because of that you were able to take this place and make it what it is. You've made a home here, you've become a family."

"That doesn't mean we ever forgot you," Maggie tells her earnestly, "Daddy and I, it broke our hearts. We mourned you, we were still mourning you till the day you came back."

"But you couldn't even consider that I might have survived." It isn't said with venom, just a stated matter of fact. It has stung Beth at odd moments during her time apart from them, her family's lack of faith in her. 

If it had been her, she would've believed. If it had been her, she would've made the others wait.

"Beth..." Maggie trails off, unsure what to say to that statement. There is a long moment of silence before she reaches out and squeezes Beth's hand. "I'm sorry, I really am. We should've waited at least a day, we should've had that much faith, at the time though... At the time I couldn't bring myself to hope, I thought it would hurt too much when it turned out to be false. I understand how hard it must have been on your own, how hard it was to get here, but you're here now, you're with us again, this is your home now too."

"No," Beth shakes her head slowly, and gives Maggie a sad smile. "You don't understand. Every day... Every single day I would wake up wondering if maybe today was the day when we'd find someone, find somewhere... You've had this place awhile, but Daryl and I, we never had any place for long. We never had anyone to rely on except each other. The things we've seen, what we've done to survive... We're here now, but it'll take time for it to feel real, for it to feel like home."

Maggie sighs, rakes a hand through her hair. "You say I won't understand, Beth, but can't you try to help me? It's been almost two weeks since you've been back and you haven't spoken about it at all except for that first night. We're still your family, and we're here to help you through this. You've been so distant, and I don't know what to do. It's like we've gotten you back but we haven't, and I want you back, Beth, I want my little sister back."

"I know." And she does, she really does, even if she can't bring herself to confide in them like she once did. "I want that too, I wanted it more than anything, but it takes time to adjust... to people, and to a place like this. I can't... I can't just go back to being what I was."

"Then what are you now?" Maggie asks her gently, her tone hesitant as if she's almost afraid of the answer. "Who are you now?"

"I'm..." It sticks in Beth's throat, all the words that she could say to explain. "I'm everything that happened to me, and all the things that I've done. I can't be that Beth again, the one that you gave up for dead at the farm. Maybe that girl _is_ dead, maybe she died by the side of the road that day, or somewhere along the way." Beth sees Maggie's horrified expression and reaches out to grasp her sister's hand, wanting to reassure her. "Maybe the old Beth died, but I survived, and I like what survival made of me."

It's all bound up inside of her, the things that she can't express, but Maggie is nodding and pulling her in to a tight hug, tears falling on Beth's shoulders.

"Then I guess we get to know each other again," Maggie announces as she wipes away her tears. "Just... As long as we can try, Beth, then everything will be okay."

"I promise I am trying, Maggie, I just need time. Can you give me that?"

"I can give you that," Maggie promises, "Just try to give me a bit more time rather than vanishing at every opportunity into the woods with Daryl to catch squirrels."

Beth gives her sister a look. "I didn't hear you complaining the last time we brought back dinner."

"It's not that... But Daryl can handle it on his own, he probably enjoys time by himself, he was always a loner back at the farm. I know you're strong Beth, and that you can provide for us, I just want some more time with you, and I worry when you go outside the fences."

"Maggie..." and here it is, the moment when she must say something, where she must try to make her sister see, "You and Daddy, you made a new family here at the prison, and I understand that. But you need to understand that I did the same. Daryl is my family now too, and that doesn't change just because I found you again. And going out there... I've been out there for more than a year, you can't keep me wrapped up inside now, safe from harm. You don't need to either."

Beth stops for a moment, looking earnestly into her sister's face to try and see whether her point has been accepted, but all she sees there is mild shock, Maggie's eyes wide with it. Sighing, Beth adjusts the heavy laundry basket into her arms, hefting it against one hip as she moves to carry it to the common area, registering that Maggie is following in her footsteps.

"Here, let me help you with that."

Beth recognises the boy in a general way, she's seen him now and again around the prison but never really spoken to him. He looks to be a few years older than her, might have even been in college when everything went down. She gives him a polite smile and shakes her head, "It's fine, I've got it."

"Come on, it's the least I can do," the boy continues, smiling widely, and Beth recognises by his expression that he's trying to flirt, that he's interested in her. It might seem like a lifetime ago, but she still remembers high school, still remembers Jimmy and his first inept attempts to win her over. "I'm Zach by the way. I know you're Beth, it was big news when you showed up at the prison."

Beth knows he's harmless, knows that there's nothing wrong in humouring him, but she can't bring herself to. "It's good to meet you, Zach, but really I don't need any help, Maggie and I have got this."

From where she stands, Beth sees Daryl walk in through the doorway, in conversation with Glenn. She looks him over briefly to check for injuries, meeting his eyes and catching the slight tilt of his head that says he's fine.

It is while she is distracted that Zach reaches out, taking the laundry basket from her with one hand, while he brings the other up to place upon her arm reassuringly, and before Beth can help herself, she flinches away from him. 

It must be only a matter of seconds before Daryl is across the room, the basket knocked out of Zach's hands and the boy slammed against the wall, the flat of Daryl's arm across his windpipe. 

"You ask in future, you hear me, boy? You ask before you touch her." Daryl hisses, so low that Beth can barely hear it.

"Daryl, what the hell?" Maggie exclaims, rushing forward to pull him off. Daryl shakes her hand off off angrily but releases his grip as Zach coughs and splutters.

"I swear I had no idea, man. I didn't know she was with you." Zach protests, his arms held up in a peace offering.

"Ain't nothing to do with me," Daryl spits out, taking a step forward, his posture hunched over and angry, as if he's ready to fight. "You ask her before you even think of touching her again, or you leave her be."

"Sure thing," Zach stutters out, before turning to Beth, "I'm sorry, I really didn't mean anything by it."

"It's alright," she tells him softly, as she steps forward to place a calming hand upon Daryl's shoulder, "I know you didn't mean any harm."

The boy leaves as quickly as possible, as Glenn hurries over, worry in his eyes. "What was that about? Everything okay?"

"Feel like explaining why you went mental over some boy wanting to help Beth carry the laundry?" Maggie questions, her tone sharp as she stares at them; Daryl still partially hunched over, Beth's hand now in his as she runs her thumb soothingly over his knuckles.

"Ain't got nothing to say," Daryl mutters, before he takes a breath, lets it wash over him and turns, looking down into Beth's face. "Y'alright?"

"I'm fine," she reassures him, "He didn't mean anything, really."

Daryl nods and with a squeeze, releases her hand. "I'll be going, got to report to Rick." He mutters, but he still stoops down and replaces the spilled clothes back into the basket before he picks it up and hands it back to her.

Beth watches as he walks away, Glenn trailing behind him and shooting worried backwards glances at Maggie, then she continues towards their original goal, stopping only when she's placed the laundry basket at the usual collection point.

"Beth, do you want to tell me what that was about? Why did he react like that?" Maggie's tone is softer now as she peers into Beth's face, as if hoping to uncover her secrets there.

"What do you think, Maggie?" Beth asks tiredly, "You think all the people we met along the way were good? Think nobody ever wanted anything from us that we didn't want to give? This place, these people that we don't know... I was telling you before, it will take us time to adjust."

She leaves her sister in her wake, knows that it will take Maggie time to get her head around it, time to figure out what to say. Instead Beth picks up her bow and makes for the yard, perching on one of the tables and waiting until she hears the familiar footsteps behind her.

Daryl jerks his head and she follows him out the gates and into the woods, quiet until they're far enough into the trees.

"M'sorry," Daryl tells her, a hand hesitantly reaching out to brush against her. "Shouldn't've done it."

"You didn't do anything wrong," Beth argues, extending her fingers to curl around his. "Glenn say anything to Rick?"

"Nah, but he's never been able to keep a secret. It'll come out one way or another."

Beth tugs on Daryl's hand, turning him to face her, "Nothing will happen, they can't make you leave, you know I won't let them."

"Don't look good though," Daryl replies, his hand warm upon hers, fingers clenching tightly. "Didn't stop to think. Looked like I was staking some claim on you. Maggie... Your Dad..."

"Maybe that isn't such a bad thing, Daryl..." Beth says softly, struggling to get out what she wants to say, what she's wanted to say for so long. "Maybe we..."

"You don't know what you're saying, girl." Daryl interrupts her, "That's not what you should want, not what you should have."

"You let me worry about what I should want, let me decide what's good for me." Beth is certain that her eyes must be shining and she takes a step forward, then another until her body gently bumps against his, until she can feel the shaky breath that he takes in. "You know I'm right, Daryl, you know this is how it should be."

Daryl closes his eyes, takes a deeper, steadier breath in, then opens them again. He raises his hand to her cheek, brushing his fingertips along it, and there is no hesitation in Beth as she takes the last step forward, raising herself on her toes until her lips meet his. There is a moment while Daryl remains motionless that she knows he is undecided, and then he lowers his head to hers, the fingers of one hand curling behind her neck, soft upon her hair as the other grips her shoulder, his lips firm, almost bruising, as hers part beneath them. She has dreamed of this, dreamed of it for so long, ached for it through long days and through nights spent beside him. She had never had the courage before now to push those boundaries, understanding as she did why Daryl kept his self imposed distance. Now though... Now everything is different.

Beth brings her own hand up to the back of his neck, brushing against the long strands of hair there, and with a shuddering breath, Daryl breaks away, leaning his forehead to hers.

"Maybe you're right," Daryl murmurs, his voice raw and close to breaking even at such a low pitch, "Maybe we... Maybe we _could_ , maybe now."

His head drops, cheek brushing against hers as he rests his head against her shoulder, his face turned into her neck, as his arms go around her waist, holding her tight. 

It's a beginning, one of many they've had, and this time they just might be able to see it through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am very, very sorry about the time taken to update. I'll try to be better in future, but so much depends on the sleep patterns of a small baby!
> 
> If you'd like to connect with me on tumblr, I'm weshallflyaway over there!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for discussions of sexual exploitation

**Chapter 10**

_Then_

The beginning of winter is hard on them.

Daryl reckons it comes early, the chill seeping in in what should be late Autumn, settling in their bones. It's the coldest he remembers it being in a long time, perhaps ever. Maybe he just never noticed it before though, back when there was central heating and when he at least had a few warm clothes to his name. Even back when he was a kid, no matter how bad it got there was always heating, his Dad might not have given a shit about them but he liked his own comforts.

As the season changes, they risk making a run into the nearest town to gather supplies. It was the wrong time of year for warm clothing when the turn occurred, but they manage to find a thrift store, mercifully empty of any of the dead. Daryl's bought enough clothes from places like these but girl like Beth, he doubts she's ever worn anything that wasn't new. She doesn't complain though, just looks through the clothing, picking out a warm jacket, a pair of thick socks, gloves and a beanie as Daryl stands guard. He's picking a jacket for himself, socks already stowed in his pack, when she speaks.

"I used to like coming to places like this, you never knew what you'd find. There used to be some really good retro clothes if you were lucky, I'd go with my friends to the store in the next town over and we'd try things on."

It surprises him, but Daryl merely shrugs, "Yeah well, I don't know about no retro. In the Dixon house if you needed new clothes then it was down to the local Goodwill." 

Beth just nods, no judgement in her face as she watches him rifle through the row of jackets. Girl always knew he was a redneck, must have guessed he'd grown up the poor kind. That's the thing he's realised about Beth - she's observant, makes her own deductions and learns quick. It's been a relief to him as he's tried to teach her what he knows, not needing to repeat things.

They haven't talked about what happened at the Bed and Breakfast since they left it, though Daryl knows that they both still think on it. They can't make it on their own forever, but they can't make it with people like that either. The good people... Maybe they lost the last of them when the farm fell, maybe there aren't any others left.

They've only run into other people once in the month since they've been back on the road. A pair of brothers heading north to Boston, hoping to get back to their family there, the younger one couldn't have been more than sixteen. They'd travelled together for a few days until their roads parted, refusing the offer to come along. They're bound to Georgia for the time being, still in search of what they've lost. Hell, for all Daryl knows the others have already moved on, gone somewhere north where cold weather will make the walkers slower, or west or east towards the water. He doesn't know though, and Georgia's as good a place as any for the time being.

They don't talk so much, him and Beth, better not to when they're out in the open and the sound could attract unwanted attention. Girl never complains though, just trudges along beside him, eyes on the path and hand on her knife. He needs to see about getting her another gun, something to protect herself with. Daryl understands why she gave it to the boy, might even have done the same himself, but it means they're down a weapon nonetheless.

"You done?" 

Beth nods as he shrugs on the jacket he's chosen, before picking up his crossbow where he'd placed it on the counter. They're slightly more prepared now, though god help them if it starts snowing and they're without shelter. They head outside, checking that the way is clear first before they step into the street. There's a dead one in the distance, but they'll be long gone before it catches up and Daryl doesn't see the point in wasting a bolt, or needing to head to retrieve it.

Beth's looking across the street, and he follows the direction of her hand as she points at the convenience store there, a questioning look on her face.

"Might as well," Daryl agrees, taking another look around before they cross the road. Maybe he'll have to take care of that walker after all, but they've got time for that after they've scoped the place. 

There's no response when they tap on the glass, but as soon as they've opened the door he sees something scrambling away from them on all fours, quickly drawing the bow to point in that direction.

"Daryl, wait!" Beth exclaims, and a moment later they see the figure stand, cringing in fear as she clutches a bag.

"Please, please don't hurt me. I have a son, waiting for me at home. Please don't hurt me."

//

The woman's name is Stacy, and they follow her back to her apartment, where she knocks carefully on the door in a pre-arranged code only to have it opened by a boy with dark hair who looks to be about seven.

It's taken them almost an hour to walk there, down the highway and to the next town over. Daryl knows it's a sign of how desperate they must be for food, that the woman would go that far from her little boy to look for it.

"Just the two of you?" Daryl asks once they're all settled in, as the boy looks at them with wide eyes from his mother's side.

Stacy nods, passing a hand over the little boy's hair. "When it all happened we stayed inside, locked our doors and barricaded ourselves in. Some of our neighbours did the same, but many fled, it was chaos. For awhile the streets were full of those things, and then one day most of them were just gone, like they'd walked out of town on their own or something."

Daryl nods, remembering the herd that had taken down the Greene fame. It's Beth that speaks next, her voice purposefully soft so as not to scare Stacy's son. "How have you survived since then?"

"I've scavenged, but there's no food left in town, none I can get at anyway. It's getting harder and harder. I can kill those things when there's only one, one of our neighbours showed me how before he... But we're..." Her voice breaks a little, "We're not doing well."

They eat a meagre dinner, both Beth and Daryl conscious of leaving as much as possible for the pair. Beth tries to divert the son, Jack's, attention by teaching him a clapping game, their movements soft as they stay purposefully quiet.

When night falls, Stacy takes her son to bed before returning to them, offering up bed in the spare room. Daryl jerks his head in Beth's direction, indicating that she should take it and he'll take first watch and she nods, thanking Stacy before she goes. 

He's just settled himself by the window, his crossbow on his lap, when the woman walks over to join him, taking a seat opposite.

"You and Beth, are you together?" It's asked hesitantly, and Daryl knows, looking at her, that this woman is no threat, that there's no reason to lie to her. He does anyway, nodding his reply.

She sighs, looks away and then back at him, "I'd thought... It's stupid really."

Daryl's not sure he wants to know, so he keeps silent, but that doesn't stop her from telling him.

"I thought that maybe if you weren't, that if you wanted me... Maybe you and she would stick around, maybe we'd have a chance."

There's tears in the woman's eyes, and he gets it, he does. She's desperate, and she knows the end is coming one way or another if they remain on their own. 

"Can't stay here," Daryl rumbles, fidgeting with his crossbow as he tries to keep his hands busy, aware of all the awkwardness of the situation. "Said it yourself, no food left, and no good hunting around either. Could come with us though, try to find a better place."

Stacy thinks about it for a moment before she shakes her head, wiping away sudden tears, "We wouldn't last out there on the road, maybe I could by myself, but Jack... I don't know what to do though, I really don't know."

She stands then, wiping her hands on the legs of her pants, and gives him a rueful smile. "Good night then, Daryl, and I guess we'll be saying goodbye in the morning."

He thinks about it, thinks about the situation they're in until he goes to wake Beth for watch, tumbling into the bed she's left, and pulling the cover over himself. There's something, there's a way, but...

But it's not a choice he wants to ask this woman to make.

//

Beth is quiet in the morning, as conscious as he is of what will most likely happen once they leave the pair behind.

"They won't come with us?" She whispers, and Daryl shakes his head.

"Offered last night, she said no." He glances behind them, to where the woman and child share a meagre breakfast at their table. "Was thinking though, thinking we do know a place they could go."

He feels an ugly kind of guilt rise in him to even suggest it, a bitter taste left in his mouth after speaking the words. Beth stares at him a moment, uncomprehending, and then she blinks, her face going blank before she looks away, acknowledging his point.

Daryl clears his throat to get Stacy's attention, calling her over from her son, who she leaves with a kiss to the forehead. "We'll still take you with us, if you want. We could help you make it, me and Beth, we'll help you protect Jack."

Stacy shakes her head slowly, her eyes fixed on Jack even at this slight distance. "It would only be a matter of time, out there on the road. I can't... I'm not brave enough to try that, I can't do it."

He clears his throat once again, unsure how to say it, not wanting to say it. "You can still change your mind, but if you're certain then there's a place we know, they'd take you both in, only... They don't take anyone for free. You'd... They'd expect something from you in return, expect you to choose one of the men."

A strange expression crosses Stacy's face, and she looks away for a moment, towards her son and then back again. "But they'd take us, and we'd be safe there? There's food?" A nod, "And Jack, they wouldn't..."

Daryl shakes his head decidedly, "Didn't seem like that type. They're not... Not the worst that's out there."

"But you didn't stay there."

"No. No, we didn't."

He doesn't need to say more, he sees the understanding in her about their reasons for leaving.

Stacy nods, passes a hand through her hair and nods again. A weight seems to settle upon her shoulders and just as suddenly she shakes it off, squaring them as she considers the future "Thank you," she says finally, "Thank you for telling me. If there's a chance it'll help us survive then I have to take it, no matter what. Can you show me where this place is?"

//

They help her to find a car, Daryl siphoning enough gas to get them to the Bed and Breakfast, around 50km away. He teaches Beth as he does so, makes her practice even though she splutters at first at the taste. He supposes he should teach her to hotwire a car soon, adds it to the list of things he has to show her.

In the end the car is loaded and Stacy and her son are ready to leave when Beth impulsively reaches out, placing her hand on the other woman's arm.

"I want you to know... You might think you're not strong enough, but you can be. I wasn't strong, but I am now, I _am_. You can learn, and you can teach Jack too. You teach him, you teach him so he never has to make a choice like yours."

Stacy reaches forward and hugs Beth, hugs her tightly as Daryl stands by awkwardly, his gaze fixed to the ground.

"You both stay safe, you hear me?" She tells them as she climbs into the car, her voice wavering slightly.

They stand there, watching as she drives away, Beth clutching the hilt of her knife where it sits in its sheath so tightly that her knuckles turn white.

"C'mon," Daryl murmurs, and brushing his hand against her shoulder, he turns her away and back to the road.

//

They're silent as they travel, silent as they find an old house to spend the night in, silent as they secure it and prepare themselves to go to sleep.

It's only once the shared can of spaghetti has been eaten, a single tea light candle burning between them that Beth speaks.

"We sent her there, her and her son. We sent her there to those people."

"We didn't send her, we gave her a choice. She chose that." Daryl's voice sounds argumentative even to his own ears and he wonders just which one of them he's trying to convince.

"Maybe we could've found another way, maybe we could've..."

"Weren't no other way, Beth." He cuts her off abruptly, biting the words out. "She was right, they wouldn't have lasted a week out there with us, would've either gotten themselves killed or us instead. This way they survive, this way they have a chance. She made the choice for herself."

"She didn't have any choice," Beth replies tiredly, defeated, "Not like I did. I know we couldn't help her, I know there's nothing more we could've done, but I can't help thinking..." She looks up at him then, her eyes piercing, gaze so sharp that he wants to look away, worries what she might be able to see, looking into him like that. "I've got a choice 'cause I'm with you, because you're a good man, you gave me that. If you hadn't found me that night..."

"Beth..." He protests, his voice weak even to his own ears, cracking. "Ain't no..."

She interrupts him by laying her head on his shoulder, hair falling over her eyes though he sees her wipe at them. He lets her have it, lets her have that comfort, and after a moment he reaches out, takes her hand where it lays in her lap, holds it simply in his, loosely. It's times like this when he knows he can't let her down, when he feels something bright spark inside of him, burning low and strong within. He won't question it, but he knows he needs her to keep it alive, knows he'd do damn near anything to keep her safe.

"Maybe one day... Maybe when we find the others, when we have a place, we can go back to them." Beth suggests, her voice quiet, tired. "We can give them a choice then."

"Maybe," Daryl's voice is equally quiet, as he gives her the only assurance he can, "Maybe we will one day."

//

The days grow colder, as do the nights.

They stop for longer in the places they find, unable to travel as easily now that the weather has turned.

The first time that Beth curls up next to him, her slight form turned inwards towards him, it's awkward. He doesn't know how to react, fears moving in case it disturbs her, or gives the wrong impression. He understands it though, it's freezing at night and any extra warmth they can get is more than welcome. When Beth's turn for watch comes, he hesitates only a few moments before he does the same, his back turned to her but pressed up against her legs where she sits, a hard line of warmth. It becomes a habit, and before he knows it, it's also become a comfort, something to look forward to at the end of a long day. 

Daryl doesn't know where those thoughts come from, wishes they'd go back again to wherever it is they did. He doesn't have time for those sorts of feelings, can't afford the distraction, and more than that, above everything else, he won't be that man.

" _I've got a choice 'cause I'm with you._ " She'd said, and he won't let that choice be taken away, not by anyone, not by him least of all.

So he keeps himself turned away, allows only that line of warmth upon his back, and doesn't look for more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so sorry about how long it took to update and I will be doing my best to ensure it never takes as long as it did this time! A work trip, jet lag, and general life all conspired against me.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

_Now_

He's sitting with Andrea and Michonne, hearing about their latest trip out to Woodbury, when Beth walks in, her brow furrowed, easing slightly when she sees him. She grabs a plate of food before she makes her way over, bypassing the table where Maggie and her father sit to sink into a chair next to him.

Daryl knows there's eyes on them, knows that people have been talking ever since he attacked Zach two days ago. So far nobody's said anything but he knows it's coming, knows it can't be far. Andrea might be looking at the two of them curiously, but Michonne at least doesn't give a shit, returning to her food now that the conversation's ended. Daryl turns towards Beth, nudging her with his shoulder to show he knows something's up.

"I've been thinking, since last night." Beth starts, glancing up at him before she turns back to her bowl, scooping up her first spoon of food.

"Gonna tell me 'bout what?"

Her reply is quiet, voice lowered so that nobody beyond their immediate table would be able to hear it. "About Stacy and Jack. About Cindy, and Anna, and Tom. About what we said we'd do one day if we ever found a place."

Daryl considers her for a moment, her gaze level, and then he nods. "Yeah," he murmurs, nothing needed beyond a simple agreement. "Yeah."

"Who are those people?" Andrea asks, her interest piqued. "What is it you need to do?"

"Just some people we met along the way," Daryl mutters, cautious in his reply. "Some debts that need paying."

"We need to go, and find these people." Beth explains, "If they'll come with us then we'll bring them back here."

Andrea nods, as Michonne looks on, her expression cool but a spark of something in her eyes as she considers them both. Suddenly Andrea shakes her head, biting back a laugh. "You want to head back out there? Good luck convincing your daddy and sister of that."

//

"You'd better not think for one minute that we're letting you do this, Beth. After everything? After we just got you back?" 

Maggie is angry, but Beth sees it for what it is - fear of losing her once more. She can understand that, but she will not bend to it.

"I'm not asking for permission, Maggie." It's said in a calm tone, such a direct contrast to Maggie's ranting, and it stops her sister in her tracks. Beth turns to her father then, directing her next words at him. "I need to do this, daddy. If all goes well then we could even be back the same day, two days at most."

"And if it doesn't go well?" Her father's tone is tired, cautious, but he isn't opposing her, he's waiting to hear her response.

"Then it doesn't. We all know how life is now. But this... I need to do this, it's important. I can't just let it go."

"But who are these people, that you'd risk yourself for them when you've only just found us again?" Maggie questions, "You can't possibly owe them that much."

Beth knows that she doesn't owe them anything in a conventional sense, but it's haunted her nonetheless. Her daddy might have said _There but for the grace of God_ , but Beth knows that it was more the grace of Daryl Dixon that spared her. She owes them what she had, a chance. "I do owe them, exactly that much, nothing less."

Maggie looks at her uncomprehendingly, but her father nods at last, cautiously, "And is it only you and Daryl going?"

"Michonne and Andrea have offered to come with us, we'll be taking them as back up." 

It had surprised Beth. She still doesn't know Michonne well, doesn't know much about her except that she's never without her sword, as attached to it as Daryl is to his bow. She'd offered to accompany them easily though, with a shrug as if it was nothing, just another task to complete. Andrea had added her own offer of support to Michonne's and Beth had wondered if she'd read between the lines, if she'd guessed exactly why it was they had to go.

"You take care out there, Bethy," Hershel finally says with a sigh, "And come back to us safely again when you're done."

//

"Heard you and Beth are heading out."

Rick has been quiet in his approach, but Daryl has been waiting, ever since he saw him exit the block to make his way over. They haven't spoken properly since the day after Beth and Daryl's arrival, apart from a brief report after Daryl and Glenn's run. Daryl takes in Rick's posture, his expression, and he knows the man is reaching out. Rick's trying to build bridges, and Daryl can respect that, knows it's necessary if they're going to get by here, so he shrugs before replying.

"Got some unfinished business. Andrea and Michonne are coming along."

"That enough, or you need some more backup? We wouldn't want to lose you both after all this." Rick is being sincere, Daryl can see that. It's times like this he can see the man Rick used to be, Officer Friendly looking out for his people. It seems no matter what else is going on, Beth and Daryl have been included in that category again now, fitting back into the box they first came from.

"Wouldn't want to lose me, but would kick me out if you need to? That's some logic." Daryl snorts, but there's no anger in the sentence, just a sense of irony that he can see Rick shares as the other man's lips tilt into an almost smile and he shakes his head.

"If it comes to it, then we can figure something out. Hershel's not unreasonable, Maggie though, you'd best pray you stay on her good side."

Daryl laughs at that, a slight huff of air. "Don't think I've ever found her good side yet, but at least she hasn't shot me."

"I can promise you, both Andrea's aim and her judgement have improved since then."

They look at each other, a wry humour in Rick's face, a cautious unbending in Daryl, and it's a beginning. They've been here before, at the start of an almost friendship. They can do this again, build something upon those foundations.

Rick nods once, twice, and jerks his head towards the prison's armoury. "Take whatever guns you need, and one of the cars. We'll see you when you get back."

It's enough for now, and Daryl can agree to that. He nods once in reply and sets off, already making lists of what's needed in his head.

//

Daryl drives, while Beth rides shotgun. In the rear view mirror he can see Michonne has her eyes on the road while Andrea watches the view out the window instead, her thoughts clearly occupied.

Their goodbyes had been brief, Hershel and Maggie both coming out to see Beth off, tight hugs and whispered pleas in her ear to come back safe. It had been then that Hershel had limped forward, looked him in the eyes and told him to be careful. No words about looking after Beth, as if he'd known they were unnecessary. Daryl respects that, he's not one for wasted words.

It should only take them a couple of hours to cover the distance, but Daryl plans to park the car at least a mile away and cover the rest on foot, see what they can see. They can't be too careful, just because the group let them leave willingly the last time it doesn't mean they'll be as forgiving now. Doesn't mean those men will let them go with what they see as rightfully theirs.

They're about half way there when Michonne calls out a quiet command to stop. Daryl slows down, sees what she's spotted and guides the car into the parking lot of the strip mall, seemingly deserted even by the dead, a couple of lone stragglers slowly approaching from the far end.

"You got this?" He asks Beth, and she nods, climbs out of the passenger side with her bow raised, dispatching them both within a matter of moments.

Andrea lets out a low whistle as Beth heads to retrieve her bolts, "That's some sharp shooting. You teach her that, Dixon?"

He shrugs, climbing out of the driver's side to keep an eye on Beth's progress, crossbow held ready should a threat present itself. "She's a natural, had a good aim from the start."

"You found the bow early on then? That was lucky."

"Nah, only got Beth's bow much later, taught her with mine first." He remembers those days, those early days, he remembers how they got the bow. There's good memories there and bad, things he can't forget.

They follow Beth's lead then as she gestures to them, heading for the storefronts, windows partially smashed in. It's the kids store that interests them the most, hoping to find things for Judith and the children from Woodbury, but there's other stuff they can use here too, a pharmacy that could have some medicine left, a convenience store where they could find canned goods.

"Split up?" Beth suggests, and he nods, agreeing.

"I'll take the kids store with Beth, you two check out the pharmacy?" Michonne suggests and Daryl murmurs his agreement, taking point as they make their way there.

They find a couple of garbage bags and begin stuffing them, taking anything that might prove useful. End of the world, not many people thought to pick up shampoo and deodorant, and that's something. He's stuffing a box of condoms in the bag when Andrea gives him a look, her brow quirking. "You planning to use those?"

Daryl scoffs, glares at her for a moment. "You want a bunch of new kids running around at the prison? S'for Maggie and Glenn, whoever else wants it."

"Then you and Beth aren't..." She trails off, and Daryl whips around, ready to snap at her for the question.

There's no judgement in her expression though, only curiosity, and the fight in him dies. "None of your damn business." He says instead, throwing in a box of tampons, before he gets on his hands and knees to look under the shelf for anything he's missed.

"I suppose it's not," Andrea acknowledges, shrugging, as she reaches out to take cough syrup off a nearby shelf. "I have to admit that I would never have picked it before, but now when I think about it, it makes sense if you're together. That long on your own, it's not easy. It creates a bond between you, and you can't just put that aside. You and her, weird as it is, I can see that. I was surprised when you chose to stay separately."

Daryl snorts, " _Chose_ ," he mutters, then fixes Andrea with a look. "You done gossiping? Thought we were on a run here."

"Still as charming as ever I see." She considers the now empty store and then heads towards the door. They exit to see that Beth and Michonne have finished their own scavenging, a bag in each of their hands, dumping them by the car before heading into the convenience store together.

"When were you two in Woodbury?" Michonne asks, her voice low, eyes alert as they enter the shop, picking up one of the baskets as she goes.

"Beginning of winter, 'bout a year ago," Daryl replies, scanning the mostly empty shelves for anything useful, before he crouches to check what may have fallen. "We were there almost two months."

"We must have just missed you then," Andrea muses, "We turned up at the end of winter, we were lucky to find it at the time. Wouldn't that have been something, if we'd run into each other there?"

"Yeah well, needed to get out when we did. There wouldn't have been any meeting you if we'd stuck around."

"What happened?" Michonne asks, her voice dispassionate but her eyes sharp as she watches them both.

Daryl hesitates and it is Beth that answers, her voice low as she meets his eyes then looks back towards their companions. "You could say that we wore out our welcome. The Governor had very strict ideas about obedience, and we weren't prepared to fall into line. What about you two? What happened to you there?"

"Michonne recognised him for what he was almost straight away, me though..." Andrea's smile seems a little forced as she picks up her basket of items, "It took me awhile."

"But you got there in the end." Beth's voice is soft, encouraging.

"Yeah..." In contrast, Andrea's has become hard, her expression closed off. "Yeah I got there in the end."

//

It takes them an hour more to reach the point where they'll leave the car, and half an hour after that to approach the outer wall, still hidden from sight within the undergrowth.

Daryl can see that the community has continued adding defences since they were last here, a pit now surrounding the walls, a combination of broken glass and barbed wire covering them. The only easy way in will be through the front gate.

"How do you want to do this?" Michonne asks, her own eyes scanning the property, seeking points of entry and exit.

"Might be best if I go in alone," Daryl suggests, only for Beth to immediately signal her opposition, a hand on his and a shake of her head.

"We can handle them Daryl, we can. You can't go in alone."

"And if they won't let us go this time?" He asks, voice low, almost a hiss. "You know what they are. If there's trouble or if I'm not back in a couple of hours then you leave and bring help."

Beth shakes her head again, urgently, her grip tightening on his arm, and Daryl is reminded suddenly of her hands upon him in the forest, her lips joined with his, the simple warmth of her against him. He hasn't touched her since then, hasn't found an opportunity as they've sought to deflect attention after the incident with Zach, but oh how he's wanted to, how badly has he wanted to.

He could kiss her now, a quick peck upon the lips, or a harder, deeper kiss to remember him by if he shouldn't return. For all Andrea's professed understanding and Michonne's neutrality though, he can't bring himself to.

This is theirs, theirs and nobody else's and he's not in a hurry to change that, especially not when it's so new. He's had too few things in his life that could fall under such a heading, and he's not yet ready to share it with anyone else. Not just yet, not until they've had time to become comfortable in this, to gain the confidence they'll need.

"You know I'll be back." Daryl tells her instead, and with a squeeze of his hand on hers, he's making his way forward, towards the closed gates. He's just considering whether he could climb them when a voice hails him, and Daryl sees Tom jogging down the driveway towards him.

"Saw you from where I was on watch, thought I was imagining things at first." The boy says as he unlocks the gates, as Daryl takes in the growth spurt he's had over the past year, the automatic gun slung over his shoulder. "Where's Beth? She... She didn't make it?"

"Nah, she made it alright," Daryl reassures the boy, seeing the worry in his face, "Just didn't know about bringing her in. What's the situation here? We've got a place, a safe place, came to offer sanctuary to anyone who wants it."

Tom is silent for a moment and then he smiles, a hard, brittle smile, not the type of smile that a fifteen year old should ever have. "You don't need to worry, Beth will be safe here. We run this place now, the men are all gone."

//

Daryl checks it out for himself before he calls the others in, but sure enough, none of the men are there. He's greeted with exclamations of surprise and welcome from those that see him and when they find out Beth has accompanied him they send him out to bring her in.

Half an hour later they're all seated in what was once the B&B's lobby, mugs of what Daryl thinks might be peppermint tea set in front of them as they settle on the couches. Michonne is the only one among them who stands, still wary in this setup where she doesn't know any of the participants.

"We came to find you, so we could offer you a place with us." Beth begins, "We finally found our old group. We've got a prison, fences and walls. It's a good place and good people, we came to take whoever wanted to go with us."

"Weren't expecting you to be by yourselves," Daryl adds, "What happened?"

The women exchange glances between them, before Cindy speaks, "Tom, why don't you take Jack out to play?"

The boy looks like he might want to protest, but after a moment he nods, and taking the younger boy's hand, leads him out.

"You know how it was here," Anna begins, "What the men were like. That you came to get us when you could... We'll always be thankful for that."

"Things changed after you left," Cindy continues, "Jim was angry with Richard for letting you go, he thought Beth should have been given to him instead, and things were tense. Then Stacy found us, and when she was given a choice, she chose Craig."

There's guilt in both of them still, over the choice they'd given to her, the only choice she'd had. What's done is done though, and Daryl keeps quiet so as to hear their story.

"It caused a fight, Jim said it was unfair he was the only one of them that didn't have a woman, said he pulled his weight as much as anyone else, and he deserved the same. Demanded that the other men share with him, said they should all get turns." There's a bitterness in her voice that Daryl thinks he recognises well, and it twists something inside of him, the part that wishes they'd been able to do more. Looking around, he can see the horror in Beth's face, disgust written clearly across Andrea's features, a burning anger in Michonne's.

"The others wouldn't agree," Deborah breaks in, "Richard, he said... He said they weren't that type of men. I know he wasn't a good man, that he should never have allowed any of it, but at least there were rules, and then suddenly..."

She trails off and it is left for Cindy to pick up the tale once more. "Jim had his gun, none of us were prepared. He shot Craig, said that if he wasn't willing to share then he'd just remove him, then when Richard moved to stop him, he shot him too, and said he was in charge from now on and that we'd all need to listen to him."

"What happened then?" Andrea asks, leaning forward in her seat, "How did you stop him?"

"Tom..." Cindy's voice cracks as she says it, "Nobody knew, he wasn't supposed to have... I took my eyes off him and suddenly he was next to Jim, a gun in his hand, and he'd pulled the trigger."

There's silence, and then Daryl hears Beth's quiet voice, almost a whisper. "We gave him the gun, before we left."

He remembers now, her pausing to do so, his own amazement that she'd give away one of their only weapons, doubting whether it would make any difference to those women's fates.

But oh what a difference it made.

"And the others?" Daryl asks, "Frank and Greg?"

"We took care of them." Anna replies, her expression hard, her voice flat. He doesn't need to ask anything more.

There's silence for awhile, maybe not a minute, maybe slightly more, as they all search for something to say. It's Beth that speaks at last, remembering their original mission. "Will you come with us? You'd be safe there, it'd be somewhere for Tom and Jack to grow up."

The women exchange looks, and Daryl knows what the response will be even before they say it. It's Stacy that speaks then, her tone determined, so different to the defeat they'd seen in her when last they met.

"Maybe one day we'll come and find you. At least now we know there's somewhere else, if we need sanctuary. For now though, I think we'd prefer just to be by ourselves."

The women offer for them to stay, but it's not yet too late and they can make it back to the prison by tonight if they leave straight away. Daryl knows that Hershel and Maggie are waiting, that maybe some of the others are too, waiting to see them home. So they say their goodbyes, leaving directions to the prison should the community ever need it, and they make their way outside.

Tom and Jack are kicking a ball between them, and when the Tom sees them exit he says something to the younger boy and makes his way over.

"Maybe we'll see you again one day," he suggests, his voice a mixture of diffidence and hesitance, "If you're ever this way again."

"Yeah maybe," Daryl agrees, and reaches out to briefly touch Tom's shoulder, "You did good."

The boy nods, and Daryl sees that there's no doubt there, he knows it had to be done. That's a good thing, the kid doesn't need to carry around the burden of guilt with him for the rest of his life, doesn't need to be doubting every move he makes from now on.

Beth says her own goodbyes and they're off, walking back down the road to where they left the car. Daryl allows the other two to outpace them, knowing that she will need to speak about it before she can finally put it away.

He stops her with a hand to the arm, turns her to face him. "You changed things there, you know you did. Gave them their chance and they took it."

"It was little enough," Beth sighs, "Everything they went through, and that was all we could do - let a boy become a killer to save them."

"Could've been worse." Daryl states, moving so that her wrist is now held loosely in his grip, warm against his palm. " _Would've_ been worse without what you did. Didn't know it at the time, but you helped save them."

He waits until she looks up at his face, until she's nodded her agreement and then he reaches out to cup her face briefly, fingers caressing her cheek.

She gives him a tremulous smile, and brings her hand up to cover his, and only then does he move to follow the others down the road.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not have enough apologies for how long this update has taken. I'm battling exhaustion at the moment, which hasn't been great for creativity, but I'm going to make an effort to get back into my writing routine. A huge thank you to those who have stuck with me, your reviews are everything!


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

_Then_

Somewhere at the beginning of winter, they stumble upon Woodbury.

It's sheer dumb luck. The right or the wrong road taken, depending upon how you look at it, and there they stand outside the community. They'd come across the road leading up to it, having left the woods to track a deer. There's been little enough food lately that they'd needed it.

As soon as they see the fortified gates they both do a double take, all thoughts of the deer forgotten. They're far enough away that they could make a run for it if they wanted to, but the sentries have already spotted them and are calling out, asking them to stop.

They wait as a man jumps down from the barricade, quickly followed by a woman with plaits. "Where have you two come from?" He questions, "How'd you find us here?"

"Found you by accident," is Daryl's curt reply, one hand on the knife secured to his belt even as he says it, "We were tracking a deer, led us here. You folks got a community?"

"Oh we've got more than a community," the woman laughs, "We've got a town."

//

They're hustled inside, not given much of a choice if any at all.

"You'll need to meet the Governor," the man is telling them, "He'll decide if you can stay or not. He runs this town, saved us all when shit hit the fan, got us organised."

A couple of buffer streets and suddenly they're thrust into small town Americana. Daryl can see Beth staring at the sight, and he's sure he's doing the same. People wandering around like they ain't got a care in the world, calling out to each other like friendly neighbours. 

People here look like they've never missed a meal since the world went to hell, most of them look like they've never even seen a walker, let alone needed to put one down. Looking around, seeing the sentries posted, the heavy firepower, Daryl realises that maybe they haven't needed to. The Governor's bully boys have kept them safe, here in this town of theirs, a place out of time. Makes him wonder just what this man's like, whether they might have finally found a leader they could gladly follow.

He's relieved that the people seem happy at least, no mistreatment that he can spot. Town like this, armed men all around, he wouldn't feel comfortable leaving Beth alone otherwise. Maybe these could be good people though, maybe he's needlessly fearing what they might be hiding. 

They've taken his crossbow, but left both he and Beth with their knives, which he decides to take as another good sign. 

They're checked by a doctor first, for any sign of bites or scratches, each ushered in and then out of the room that serves as the community's clinic by turn. They're taken into another building then, the old town hall by the sign out front, and left to wait.

He glances at Beth, to where she sits beside him, and sees the nervousness in her expression even as she tries to hide it. It's a simple thing to reach out and take her hand, give her that reassurance, but he still hesitates to do so. It isn't that easy, knowing what he should and shouldn't be doing when it comes to her, knowing when to draw the line.

The decision's made for him though, when Beth reaches out to take his hand instead, squeezing it once and giving him a nervous smile.

"It'll be alright," Daryl murmurs to her, "Ain't seen anything to worry about yet."

"We'll be alright." Beth agrees, and there's a trace of confidence in her voice now, evident even despite the nervous breath that she takes in. So he holds her hand loosely, fingers and palm warm and soft in his grasp, and waits for what's coming their way.

It doesn't take long, fifteen minutes maybe, before the door opens and he lets her hand go, straightening up with his right hand close by his knife in case he should need it.

A man strides in, tall and poised, and Daryl knows this must be the man they referred to as the Governor. It's not the leader that holds his attention though, it's one of the two men that enters behind him, and Daryl opens his mouth to speak, to exclaim, only to stop when he sees the warning in the other man's eyes, the signal not to.

"Heard y'all stumbled across our little town here," the Governor begins, his accent smooth as he looks them both up and down. "I'm Phillip Blake, I'm in charge of this community."

"We were tracking a deer, led us to the road. Weren't looking for your town but if you've got room for us we could use a place to see out the winter."

"Tracking a deer, huh? They tell me you had a crossbow when you were brought in, we could use a man like you here, able to hunt. What's your name?"

"Daryl," he jerks his head, "This is Beth."

"And Beth is..?"

"Beth is with me." It's ground out, a challenge in his voice as he says it. So far this place doesn't seem to be like the B&B, but he's not willing to take a chance.

The Governor looks at both of them, as if measuring them, and Daryl knows he's taking in the age difference, their unlikeliness as companions. He inclines his head though, accepting it, and then turns to the two men who have accompanied him.

"Martinez here will get you set up, we've got some spare apartments and he'll assign you one. You'll both be expected to pull your weight, you'll have jobs assigned soon."

With a nod, the man leaves, his remaining guard trailing behind him without a backward glance at them both. Daryl watches them go, pensive and confused.

"Well let's get you set up then," Martinez announces, and jerks his head towards the exit, as they both get up to follow him.

"I get my bow back now?" Daryl asks, knowing that the answer will tell him more about this place than most other questions could.

"I suppose so," Martinez replies, "The Governor hasn't said otherwise. Might do us some good to get a bit of extra fresh meat around here if you can hunt some up."

They detour to what appears to be both an armoury and storage building, and Daryl is made to sign a slip for his own weapon, then Martinez picks up a key, and it's down the street to where a three story apartment building stands. Climbing the stairs to the second floor, Martinez lets them in, pausing in the doorway as they go forward.

"Should be everything you need here, can pick up some rations once you're ready from the commissary. You need anything then you find Liz, in the building we just came from. Someone will be by tomorrow to let you know where you're needed."

He leaves and Daryl slides the deadbolt into place and then the chain, before turning to where Beth stands, regarding the rest of the room with wide eyes. 

"You think the shower is working?" She asks him suddenly, the beginnings of a smile on her face.

"People round here all sure looked clean enough," Daryl shrugs, "One way to find out."

It turns out the water is only lukewarm, but they both clean themselves up as quickly as possible. There's not much to be done for their clothes, but they can at least wash the ones they've been wearing. Daryl wonders how the good citizens of Woodbury might feel about riff raff such as them being let in, all ragged around the edges.

"So what do you think?" Beth asks, once they're both clean, as she looks out the window down to the street below, then back to him. "Something's been bothering you ever since we met Mr Blake, what is it?"

"There's something not right here, don't know what it is, but I know there's somethin'."

"How do you know?" Beth asks, not challenging his instincts, just curious. "I admit, I didn't get a good feeling from Mr Blake, but maybe it's just because I was nervous. Everything here seems so... nice though."

"I know something's wrong, cause my own brother looked me in the eye and didn't say shit to me."

It hangs between them in the air for a moment, as Beth comes to terms with the information. "Your brother? Then the other man there..."

"That was Merle alright. Lost his sorry ass almost a year ago, and not even a hello? Something's wrong there, Merle ain't doing that without reason."

"But he's alive," Beth smiles then, genuinely happy for him, "Out of all the places, we managed to find him here. Surely that's a good sign."

"Maybe," Daryl acknowledges, but he's not so sure himself. Seeing his brother again, it had taken everything in him not to call out in shock when he saw the familiar face, sure as he'd been that he might never seen it again. There'd been warning in his brother's gaze though, and he'd picked up on that fast enough after years of recognition.

They get directions to the commissary and pick up their share of rations. Not an awful lot of food, but better than what they've had lately. Turns out the town has a source of piped gas, which explains the slightly warm water, and allows their stove to run. It's already late afternoon, and they prepare their food before the light goes, exploring their home in the meantime. Seems to have most everything they'd need, including bedding and towels. Must have been someone's home once, someone who either fled or died, the remnants of their life left behind, photos stuffed haphazardly at the back of a cupboard.

Daryl's not going to argue with it, not with running water, or the first proper bed they've had since the B&B, even if he's been trying to forget all afternoon that there's only one. A big enough collection of blankets to see them warmly through the nights too. Seems as if they've hit the jackpot here, and he's almost afraid to look too closely, because all this, it's too good to be true. Merle, playing his games and biding his time, that tells Daryl precisely all he needs to know, even if he doesn't want to admit it yet.

So he waits, and tries to enjoy the wan winter sunshine as they run their errands around town. The knowledge of it sticks at the back of his throat though, that soon enough it'll be time to find out what's really going on here.

They make it to evening, make it through a makeshift dinner eaten by candlelight, where Beth stays as silent as he does, easily picking up on the tension in his mood and sneaking glances at him. They make it that far before there comes a knock at the door, and Daryl is up and crossing to the door before a beat has passed, checking through the peephole before he wrenches it open and stands aside for his brother to come in. It's shut just as quickly, Daryl not knowing whether Merle wants his presence known here or not, and then it's the two of them, looking at each other from across the space of a doorway, Beth looking on from where she still sits at the table.

"Well lookee here, if it ain't my baby brother Daryl, found me at last." Merle whistles, looks him up and down, a grin coming to his face.

"Went back for you that day," Daryl offers, "We were coming for you, had bolt cutters to get you free. Looked for you, before I lost your trail."

"Then what? Went back and played nice with the Sheriff?" Merle taunts, bitterness in his voice, "Didn't look for ol' Merle for too long now did you, baby brother?" His gaze slides over to Beth then, looking her up and down appreciatively. "Can't say I blame you though when you'd found a piece of tail like this. Did good for yourself, Darylina. What's your name, sweetcheeks?"

Daryl expects Beth to cringe away, hell, he wouldn't blame her for it if she did. She's been looking at him all this time since Merle has walked in, and he knows she's been watching closely, looking for his cues.

"My name's Beth, it's good to finally meet you." She replies calmly instead, all sweetness and Southern hospitality.

Merle whistles, then starts to laugh, turning back to give Daryl a look as if he can't believe it. "Is that right, darlin'? It's good to meet me? First time I've heard that in years."

Beth's eyes meet Daryl's again, and she must see something there, perhaps the level of his discomfort, because there's an answering flicker in hers, an understanding. She stands then, still facing them both. "You must have a lot to catch up on. I'll head to bed and get some rest, Daryl."

"You do that, sugar," Merle tells her with a wink, "Promise I won't keep him away from you too long."

Daryl waits only until the door is closed before he rounds on his brother, voice kept purposefully low and almost to a hiss. "What the hell is going on, Merle?"

"Could ask you the same thing, little brother. Where the hell'd you pick up a fine piece of ass like that? The rest of us are just trying to survive, and you've found yourself some company to keep you nice and warm at night."

It's just like his brother to ignore the main point and focus on a woman instead. "Beth ain't like that, it ain't what you think." Daryl grits out, "And I'm not talking about that. What are you doing, pretending not to know me? What's going on here?"

Merle paces forward then to take one of the chairs at the vacant table, turning it around so he's straddling it backwards, his expression hard as he takes in the room. "See this place, Daryl? This is a good place, probably best kind of place you'll find in the world these days. Got food, got a place to rest your head, hell, I've even got a willing woman now and then. All this don't come for free though, got to pay your way. The Governor, he runs this place, and you do what he says then it's a real good town. You don't give him a reason to dislike you, and you don't give him something to hold over you if you can help it." Merle shakes his head, looks Daryl in the eye, "Think I want him knowing I've got a little brother, something to hold me to? But you, you waltz in here with the little miss, thinking it's all civilised like. You don't give a man like that something that allows him to own you, and you've gone and done exactly that baby brother." 

There's silence between them as Merle's words sink in and it's then that Merle does a double take, his eyes narrowing, "What the fuck do you mean she ain't like that?"

"Because she ain't, it ain't like that. Lost the rest of our group and it's just been us ever since. Must a been... Four months back at least."

It's strange, thinking of it like that, putting a number of days to how long they've been on their own. He guesses it must be that long if not longer, he hasn't kept count, but he can tell by the turn of the seasons. Four months on their own, looking for family, and he never thought it would be his they'd find. 

"You serious? The hell is wrong with you, boy, that you still haven't tapped that? End of the world and you still can't get some tail for yourself. If you're not getting anything out of her then cut her loose. Won't give them anything to hold over you and some other lucky sonofabitch can have a try." His brother chuckles then, "Maybe I will."

There was a time the words would've gotten to Daryl, fired him up, or made him turn in on himself, made him do exactly what Merle wanted. Now though, they're just words, and it's strange to him that they have so little effect.

"For chrissakes, Merle, she's 17, and she don't need none of your shit. She's with me, and I ain't cutting her loose, we're sticking this out. Gonna find her family if I can, get her back to them. You wanna pretend you don't know me, go right ahead, but I ain't leaving her."

There's silence between them, Daryl breathing hard and Merle... Merle watching him, quiet for once, almost thoughtful. It takes a few moments but then his brother shakes his head, laughing softly under his breath. "You'd best pray they don't ask you to do anything you'd rather not then, baby brother. You'd best pray, and keep that little lady of yours close. I'll be looking out for you, but I'm not risking my neck for her."

It's as much of a concession as Daryl knows Merle is capable of giving, he won't receive anything more than that so he nods, still not quite meeting his brother's eyes. "It's good to have you back, Merle," Daryl tells him finally, sincerely, "Didn't know if I'd ever find you again."

There's a look in Merle's eyes then, almost something that Daryl might be able to read, before he blinks it away. "Good to have you back too, baby brother, good to have the Dixon brothers together again. But you remember, and you remember well, you don't know me here, we ain't no brothers for them, easier for me to look out for you that way. You follow my lead and I'll see you through."

Merle cuffs his shoulder with his good hand, and just like that he's gone, the door closed behind him.

Daryl stands in the empty living room and tries to take it in, exactly where life has brought them. Merle had come to warn him, to let him know how things stand here. This place might not be a paradise, but they can't just cut and run, at least not without giving it a chance. Merle's right, there's few enough places like this left these days, and who knows if they'll find anything better. Winter's here, and if they can be safe behind these walls, warm and clothed and fed, then that's something. Come Spring, they'll go looking again if the place doesn't suit them, but they'll be the stronger for it then. He doesn't question whether Merle would come with them, if they were to decide to leave. His big brother might have a good set up here, but Daryl knows Merle, knows he'd do almost anything for him, for what little he's ever been able to.

It's strange to think that Daryl might be the one to make the choice though, whether to stay or leave. It'd never been like that, not before, was always him following Merle around, doing what Merle wanted. It's different now though, he's got someone relying on him, someone who he can't let down. He needs to make his choices as much for her as for himself, to keep them both safe. 

It's a funny thing, the difference having someone depending on you makes. It burns something inside him, a small, bright spark, when he thinks on the choices he might have made, had Beth not been with him. 

He stands there, thinking of her in the bedroom, the one bed they have to share, large as it may be. Daryl thinks about taking the couch instead, leaving her to sleep in peace. There's no need for sleeping in shifts here, not with an armed watch on the walls at all times. He thinks it might be best to draw that line, to show her he's drawing it, separate himself from her now they've found some safety, let her have her space. There's blankets enough to go round that he wouldn't feel a chill, sleeping out here.

He thinks on it, and then he turns to the bedroom, opening the door softly to check if she's fallen asleep, to tell her... To tell her that Merle's gone, to tell her that he'll just be outside, should she need him.

Beth's curled on her side when he enters, reading one of the books that the previous occupants left behind by the light of a small candle. She looks up, her eyes meeting his, her expression soft, her hair falling around her face, and for a moment Daryl forgets why he's come here at all.

"Your brother's gone?" Beth asks, pushing herself into a sitting position, crossing her legs as she does so.

"Yeah, came to tell me we're not to recognise him here, better that way. Says there's some shit going down with this Governor, got to watch our backs."

Beth nods and remains quiet, watching him, waiting for more as Daryl struggles with what to say.

"Merle... He don't mean no harm, those things he said. That's just his way, always been a dumbass." It's said hesitantly, an explanation he hopes she'll take. He doubts she's used to men like his brother, doubts she's ever been spoken about that way in her life. "He might say those things, but he ain't like the men back at the B&B, ain't never been like that."

Beth nods, accepting it, and then she shrugs. "I don't know what I was expecting, maybe that he'd be more like you, you know?"

"Yeah well, Merle is Merle, half the reason they left his ass on a roof in Atlanta."

It's meant to be a joke and Beth cracks a smile, grins at him for a moment before she shakes her head as if remembering it's not something they should joke about. "So what do we do now? Is it safe to stay here? He'll let us know if it's not?"

"He'll look out for us," Daryl confirms. Whatever Merle says, he knows Beth will be included in that simply by virtue of being with him. If it came down to a choice... Well that's different, but as long as there's not one, Merle can be relied on. "We stay for now, see how things are. It's as good a place as any to see the winter out."

Beth nods, looking up at him as he stands there awkwardly in the doorway, then looks at the other side of the bed. "You ready to sleep? I feel like maybe I could sleep for 2 days, I'm that tired."

Daryl nods, tongue tied, his earlier resolve forgotten. He removes his boots, and climbs into bed beside her, his body stiff as he strives to keep as still as possible. Beth blows out the candle and lies back down, curled on her side and facing away from him. 

He lies there in the dark, aware of her nearby, aware of all the things that have been said about them today, aware of his own rapidly beating heart. He's not that man though, he's not, and he never will be. He knows what he has to be for her, knows there's no point in thinking on what else he might want to be, if given the chance. 

Time passes, a few minutes at least, but he knows Beth isn't asleep yet by the sound of her breathing. He feels like he has to say something, make it clear so that she won't worry, so that she'll know she's got nothing to fear in him.

"I, uh, I told him that it ain't like that with us, he knows now. Won't think like that about you no more."

There's silence, and then the rustle of sheets as Beth turns to face him, he almost starts when her hand brushes his, barely touching it but there, where it lies by his side. 

"You didn't have to, you know." Beth whispers to him, "We know what we are, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks."

A slight pressure as she lays her hand on his and then it is gone as she turns back onto her side. 

He lies there, lies there thinking for a good long time, thinking about the trust she places in him, about what he needs to be for her. He can feel that spark inside himself burning bright, thinks he needs to be careful, that it's just possible it might burst into flames.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big big thank you to all the reviewers, you make me want to write so much faster! I am trying to get back to my normal speed, here's hoping I get there soon!


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

Now

It's difficult to keep herself away from him, now that she knows she can have more.

When Beth thinks about it, really thinks about it, she knows exactly how long it's been since she'd first began to _want_. 

It was in Woodbury, during the winter, in the days before everything went to hell. A part of her had known before that, not known with any consciousness but known, felt it in her bones that something was building within her. She thinks of herself then, so much younger, even if it had been less than a year in the past.

In their days on the road she had begun to feel it, to feel the answer in herself to the question he would never allow himself to ask. She had felt it in small moments, in the brush of a hand against her back to keep her going when she was tired, in the expression in his eyes when she would catch him looking at her sometimes, in the careful way he would sometimes touch her hair as she curled against him for warmth, once he thought she was asleep.

She would find herself looking at him - so strong, and brave, and loyal, and _true_ and it would hit her sometimes, a tightness in her chest that made it difficult to breathe.

Then they had come to Woodbury, to the apartment they had shared, and she had _known_. 

She had known that Daryl Dixon was hers, come what may, and that if he'd only let her, she could be his too. That she wanted to be, some day.

So many months since then, so many months of wanting, of waiting, and she can finally have all that she desires. She feels almost giddy with the knowledge, that there's nothing stopping them now, not even themselves. Rick might say what he likes, but this is nothing to do with him, nothing to do with anyone else. Let anyone try to come between them now, and Beth will know what reply to give them. She knows her self as well as she knows Daryl, and she knows that once they've taken a decision there's no going back for either of them.

There's no big announcement to be made though, no revelation to the group for the time being. Beth has no desire to carry out a public courtship, not when they're only just finding their feet, negotiating their new boundaries and working through all they feel.

There'll be more than enough time later for anyone to make their opinion known on the subject.

He doesn't drag her away to kiss her in dark corners, where anyone might happen upon them. There's no outward public displays, no signs to anyone who might be watching that anything has changed between them, yet Beth can feel the shift so incredibly clearly, can see it in everything that Daryl now does.

There is a confidence in him now, in the way he approaches her, in the steadiness of his hand upon her when he reaches out. Beth understands, it is not because of possession but _belonging_ , that they are each other's, affirmed after all this time.

She's not in a hurry to rush things, as she knows he isn't either. All the time taken to get here and she'd rather savour this stage by stage, to take her time in knowing him.

There's kisses for now, while they settle into this new phase, kisses and shy touches, his hands settling onto the slight curve of her hips, remaining there, warm against her skin with the barest pressure. He hasn't yet dug his fingers into her flesh, hasn't allowed his hands to properly roam. People might laugh, but Beth gets the feeling that Daryl is trying to be a gentleman, letting her set the pace.

So she allows herself to stop and turn while they track, a hand slipping forward to grab his shirt, tugging him towards her. She can see the answering smile quirking at his lips, the light in his eyes as he allows her to have her way, his lips parting against hers before he tilts his face to nuzzle her cheek, the scruff of his beard rubbing against it.

"When did you start to think about me this way?" Beth asks him, voice kept purposefully low, one tone above a whisper. They're tracking a deer, and if they can find it then it'll mean more fresh meat than the prison's seen in a week.

Daryl hums, rubs a hand against the scruff of his chin before replying, his eyes turned to her and then away again, surveying the forest around them. "Don't know how long I've spent thinking 'bout you, know I spent an awful long time trying _not_ to."

She knows it's half a joke, and so she bumps his shoulder with hers, feels him give into it, nudging her back before he touches the base of her spine lightly, a reminder to refocus and get back on track.

"Was it Woodbury?" Beth persists, "Or after?"

Daryl shrugs, pauses to examine a track in the mud before jerking his head to the right, indicating which way they should head. "Dunno, just _was_ one day. Just knew that you were..."

He trails off, and Beth nudges him, reaches out and brushes her fingertips with his until he curls his own around them. "That I was what?"

"Don't know what you're thinking, Beth, but it was never like that in my head. Never that we'd end up like this one day, it was just..."

She waits, lets him get his words together as they make their way forward slowly, footsteps soft through the undergrowth.

"Just... Knew what you were. Spent my whole life until then following Merle around, never did one good thing. But you... Knew I had to find that good, for you. Knew I had to lead from then on, not just follow. Would've done damn near anything for you."

It's the closest to a declaration of love that she's ever received from him. She'd known it of course, realised the changes he'd made, the way he stepped up to be what they both needed. She'd never known if _he'd_ known it though, if he'd consciously realised what he was doing or why he was doing it. Somewhere during their time together they'd both made a transition, stepped firmly into new skins that they can't shed.

He's looking down at her, a burning intensity in his gaze, and she feels it before it occurs, knows that for once it'll be him that makes the first move, that maybe with this confession they've reached a turn. 

He reaches for her, places a hand firmly on her hip and pulls her forward, fingers digging slightly into her skin. Beth feels her muscles tighten, feels her heart rate speed up, even before he's brought his other arm around her back, pulling her firmly against his chest, pressing his mouth to hers - hard and hungry and nothing he's allowed her to know before now.

This has been in him too, all this time, buried so deep within himself that it's taken time to be able to let it out. 

His hands have moved to her head, tangling in her hair, his fingertips digging into her scalp as he kisses her, his lips rough on hers, his teeth grazing her lips. She nips at him, teeth catching skin, and he groans, breaks away and turns slightly from her, his breath coming heavily.

"What you do to me, girl..." Daryl mutters, rolling his shoulders back. Beth grins, passes a hand through her dishevelled hair and allows him the distance he needs as he mutters to himself, shaking his head slightly as he readjusts his crossbow. "C'mon now, dinner ain't gonna catch itself."

//

They do catch a deer in the end, a young buck that Daryl takes down with a single shot.

They tie it to a branch and carry it home between them, met with cheers from Carl when they arrive at the gate, as he quickly opens it to let them in.

"Think you could show me how to hunt?" He asks them, and Daryl nods towards where Rick stands in the nearby makeshift field, in conversation with Hershel.

"Ask your dad. He says yes, then we'll take you out."

Carl nods but doesn't look particularly hopeful, and Beth wonders if maybe Daryl should talk to Rick, to convince him of the importance of Carl learning. They can discuss that later, once they have some time alone.

They're hailed by others as they make their way up to the main buildings. There's a few people from Woodbury who recognise them, and others who they've come to know since their arrival. They're recognisable firstly as the ones who came back, but Beth gets the feeling that people are getting to know them for the right reasons too. There's a respect that comes with providing food for a community and she's glad of it for Daryl's sake. She can see how it might change him, how it's already changing him, as he opens himself slightly to allow others to see who he really is.

She hopes for their sakes that they're able to see him truly.

//

Things with Maggie have gotten better.

She no longer presses Beth for answers, or tries to insist that she should stay within the fences. However begrudgingly, Maggie seems to realise that her sister is no longer a child, that her time apart from their family has changed her.

Realising it and truly accepting it are two different things, but Beth knows that Maggie's trying. She sees her sister biting back on words of concern when Beth discusses going out, or when she presses to be included on a run. Beth appreciates that, she knows it's not easy for her sister to let go.

And so she does her own part in trying to rebuild the relationship, spending time with Maggie and giving her whatever answers she feels she can.

They had spoken only briefly about the trip to the B&B and the outcome after their return. Beth knows that from what little she said, Maggie was able to read between the lines. She suspects that her sister may have spoken to Andrea or Michonne as well. Maggie has been more careful since then, less likely to insist on knowing what happened while Beth was away when she knows she might not like the answer.

Today they're on fence duty together, Beth easily finding her rhythm through the repetitive actions. Maggie has been talking, idly almost, of the days after they first found the prison, when T Dog and Lori were still alive, of how they'd sat in the prison yard that first night and her father had convinced her to sing The Parting Glass, and she'd wished that Beth had been by her side to help her.

"I haven't heard you sing in the longest time," Maggie comments, glancing sideways at Beth as she works, "Do you think you could sing for us soon, if you... If you still do."

It surprises Beth. So much time apart, and it's something that Maggi has remembered, something that she'd missed about her.

"I didn't sing much on the road," Beth admits, "It was too dangerous, in case somebody heard or there were walkers nearby. There were times though... There were a few times when I was able to." She squares her shoulders, looks into the bright sunshine, and then back towards her sister. "I still sing."

"Then sing tonight," Maggie pleads with her, "I know Daddy would love to hear it."

//

And so she does.

It's almost embarrassing really, the way the residents of C Block gather around to hear her, as if it's a proper concert. She'd balked at performing for the whole community, so many people that she doesn't know. She can do this though, among people who are once again becoming familiar to her.

And so she starts softly, an old Tom Waits number that she'd always loved, building up in volume as she goes along. When she finishes there are requests for more songs, and she sings a few that she remembers well, watches the faces of her people as the music washes over them, the smile on her Daddy's face.

Mostly though, she watches Daryl.

He leans against the wall, partially in the shadows and behind the others, but Beth knows that his eyes are fixed on her, that he won't have looked away. When she manages to lock her gaze with his, it's burning, heavy with the weight of all that he feels. She has to glance down before she allows herself to react to it, look back to the rest of their group, carefully neutral once more.

There's applause when she finally finishes, family and friends coming up to thank her, hugging her warmly before they go their own ways, preparing to take watch or to find their beds. Daryl hangs back though, lingers in the doorway until he's sure she's seen him before he disappears through it.

Beth waits until attention is no longer upon her, until everyone has gone their separate ways, and then she makes her own escape, exiting the prison to see him waiting at the corner, moving forward only when he knows she's following him, only stopping when he reaches a spot that Beth realises is shielded from view from the watchtowers being used, where they are unlikely to be discovered.

Daryl reached out and snags her waist as soon as she steps close enough to do so, his hands resting upon her waist, thumbs drawing small circles there. He draws her in, leaning down to rest his forehead against hers.

"I remember the first time I saw you sing." He laughs, the sound low and deep, "Knew I was done for."

"You never said anything," Beth murmurs, "Never even told me you liked my singing. I worried at first that it annoyed you."

"Nah," Daryl replies, his mouth drifting closer to her ear, his breath warm upon her, "Couldn't find the words. Shouldn't have said them anyhow."

"You can say them now," Beth whispers, eager and wishing, oh wishing so hard that he would, even if she already knows what he means. "You can say anything that you want to me, anything at all."

"You've got a gift, girl." Daryl finally says, his head dropping to her shoulder, arms drawing her closer so that she's flush against him. "Don't know why it's been wasted on me. Could conquer the whole damn world if you wanted, have anyone you liked."

"I already have who I want," Beth reminds him, reaching to raise his face to hers, "Nobody else out there for me, I don't care about conquering the world neither."

She kisses him suddenly, hurriedly, their teeth clashing momentarily before his mouth parts, pressing to hers hungrily. He pulls her closer, crushing her against him, a hand coming up to frame her face.

"Stay with me tonight," he says suddenly, breaking away, "I don't mean... We won't do nothing, just want to hold you."

She's avoided doing so since the incident with Zach, worried that they might be discovered, but oh how she's wanted to. Waking by herself in her empty bed, the sheets cold around her, Beth has wondered whether Daryl is faring much better in his own, whether he's felt the same loss that she has without the warmth they share.

"I'll come." She promises, and he kisses her again, his lips lightly skimming against hers before he drops his head to place a kiss on her neck, his mouth slowly working against her, his lips warm and soft. She sighs, the end of it almost a moan, her fingers tangled in the hair at the back of his head.

"And if they find us?" Daryl asks, voice soft, his question unhurried, "Then what are we gonna say?"

"Then we tell them the truth," Beth replies simply, "That I've made my choice and you've finally accepted it."

He presses her closer, squeezes her, and she feels his heart thumping against her own chest before he lets her go, sending her back towards the prison with a slight push. 

"I'll be seeing you then." Daryl states, his eyes fixed on her retreating form in the darkness.

The rest of the group have already gone to their own beds when Beth returns, and so she doesn't waste time. She heads straight to his cell, removing her boots and lining them up by the wall, climbing into his bed to wait. It doesn't take Daryl long to join her, kicking off his own boots as soon as he enters the cell, then shrugging first out of his vest and then his shirt until he's before her in an old singlet and his pants.

He climbs in beside her, into her waiting arms, resting his head on her shoulder, his arm winding around her waist. Beth brings her own arm around his shoulders, her fingers smoothing comforting circles, ghosting over the scars there.

"Missed you something bad, girl." Daryl murmurs into her shoulder, his eyes already shut, breathing already beginning to even out.

She knows that he means it, knows exactly how he must have spent those dark hours without her, tossing and turning and aching to pass through the walls of the cells to be by her side.

If they're discovered, then let it be so. They know what they are, they know who they are, and that's not for anyone else to decide for them. She's not willing to spend anymore time part from him, not willing to forgo the comfort that they both so dearly need.

Beth closes her eyes, tightens her arm around Daryl's shoulders, and prepares to sleep. No matter what the dawn light brings, they'll face it together.

The world couldn't separate them yet, she can't imagine that this prison would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry about how long it took to update and I hope this partially makes up for it. Apparently getting only 3-4 hours of sleep per night is not really conducive to writing, or to life in general. Things seem to have turned a corner though and I'm hopeful of getting back into my routine soon!
> 
> I know I'm a terrible updater, but please do review, they keep we going when times are tough!


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

 

_Then_

 

True to the Governor's word, jobs are found for them the next day.

 

Beth's going to be helping out in the storehouse and commissary, organising rations and cooking for those who can't do for themselves. Daryl's been posted on watch on the wall, free to hunt when he's not rostered on duty.

 

Beth can't help but feel nervous, to know that she'll be spending the day apart from him. It might have only been four months that they've been on their own, but it feels like it's been just about forever. The last time she was left on her own... But she won't think about that, that was a different place, different people to the ones here.

 

In the end there's nothing to fear. Daryl walks her to the commissary, where she meets her new coworkers, a group of women who exclaim over her when they find out she's been on the road for the last few months. They're curious to the point of prying, and Beth finds herself missing Daryl's simple, solid presence as she gets through the day. They've never felt the need to trade words between them only for the sake of it, and she realises that she's become used to that now, to only talking when there's truly something to say.

 

Woodbury though, seems to think there's still a need for small talk.

 

She exits once her shift is done to find Daryl waiting, leaning against a nearby post, his crossbow over one shoulder and a scowl on his face as if to deter anyone from starting a conversation.

 

His face relaxes as soon as he sees her, and Beth breaks into a grin, unable to help it when there's this _feeling_ bubbling up inside her, this sudden sharp happiness. She doesn't try to hide it, and there's an answering quirk to Daryl's lips, a look in his eyes before he ducks his head.

 

"C'mon, let's get out of here." He tells her, hand coming up to touch her arm as if to guide her forward.

 

"Where? Do I need anything?"

 

"Nah," his lips quirk once more, "We're not going far, and I've got everything we need."

 

//

 

They go beyond the community's walls, not heading far, just into the woods up a little ways. Beth wonders if they're tracking game, but instead it just seems as if Daryl's searching for a good spot, stopping once they've found one.

 

He hasn't asked her how her day was, not here in the quiet of the forest. Beth figures he thinks she'll tell him later, over the dinner of rations they'll share.

 

Daryl makes a sign for her to wait, then goes forward to a tree, carving an X into it before he returns to her side. He squints at it for a moment as if sighting the distance, then abruptly he's shrugging off the strap of his crossbow, thrusting it towards her unceremoniously. "Here."

 

"You're gonna teach me?" She can't stop the excitement from rising in her voice. She's been wondering how to ask him the last few months, as he's gradually taught her everything else he knows. Beth knows that she has no real chance of loading the bow all by herself, but that doesn't stop her from wanting to learn to shoot it all the same.

 

Daryl shrugs, "Figured it was time. If you're any good then we'll look out for something that's more your size. Best weapon for hunting, good too if you want to be quiet."

 

He holds the weapon out to her, and she takes it, feels the weight of it in her hands before raising it hesitantly, glancing at Daryl to see him considering her, noting her stance and how she holds the crossbow. He rubs his chin as if in deep thought, fingers passing back and forth across the scruff there.

 

"Need to hold it higher," he grunts, without moving forward to correct her, and Beth tries to comply. "Now just a little thataway..." he's telling her, when Beth cuts him off with an eye roll.

 

"Why don't you just show me, Daryl?"

 

He looks startled for a moment, and Beth swears his skin reddens, his gaze suddenly fixed on the ground, but he approaches her anyway. 

 

His fingers are deft and light, never lingering too long as he corrects her grip, shows her the level at which the crossbow should be, and the proper way to sight down it. He uses his foot to nudge her ankles, pushing her legs into the proper stance.

 

Beth can't help but think of all those movies she'd watched, of the hero using the excuse of teaching the heroine something as an opportunity to touch her, of breaching distances in a moment. 

 

That isn't them though, that's never been what this has been about.

 

Daryl raises one of her wrists slightly, and his hand lingers upon her for just a moment, just a moment longer than it normally would, and Beth wonders if he's had the same thought, if he's wishing he was the type of man who would take such an excuse.

 

And would she want him to if he did? Would she welcome those touches if he was to make them, would she lean into them, trying to prolong them just a little longer?

 

She doesn't know, but she's certain that if he was to try, she wouldn't turn away.

 

"Right then, let's get started." Daryl's statement is one long exhale, a breath held for far too long and then released. 

 

Her first shot goes wide, as does her second and third. Daryl doesn't judge though, or berate her, he simply watches and gives her advice, tells her how to correct this aspect or that. The fourth shot she actually hits the tree, though the fifth goes wide again.

 

By the time the light begins to dim, she's consistently hitting the tree, though she's yet to get anywhere near the X.

 

Daryl glances up at the sky then holds his hand up in a gesture today. "Done enough for today, time to head back." He pauses, waits while she hands the crossbow over and until he's shouldered it, waits until he's turned himself away to pick up the used bolts, "Reckon you've done real good."

 

She glows at the words, knowing how hard won they are. A month ago he might never have spoken them at all, that's how far they've come together.

 

They're turning back towards Woodbury when there's the sound of a twig snapping, and a familiar face steps into view.

 

Beth notices the step that Daryl takes forward as if unconsciously placing himself in front of her, the way his shoulders are set.

 

"Well, well, well, if it ain't little brother and his lady love, out for a little stroll in the woods." Merle comments, his gaze a deliberate leer. "She finally give it up to you, out here against a tree, or are you still being a pansy about it?"

 

"Shut up Merle, stop being a dumbass." Daryl growls, and by the way he keeps his face turned from hers, Beth knows he's embarrassed. "What are you doing out here anyway?"

 

"Keeping an eye on you." Merle states pointedly, "Think the Governor was just going to let you go wandering off wherever you wanted? Think again, little brother. You step outside these walls, you'll have someone following behind you. Make sure you're not sneaking off to report back to some other camp - steal this place from under him."

 

"He's really that paranoid?" Beth asks, frowning.

 

"That and more. Enough time passes and you two pass his little trust test, maybe Daryl here will end up in the inner circle, get promoted to higher duties."

 

"That something we want?" Daryl asks.

 

Merle shrugs, trudging alongside them as they make their way back. "Never a good thing to come to his notice, but you two have already gone and done that. He decides to make you one of his men though, you'd better be prepared for what you've got to do."

 

Beth isn't sure she wants to know what the Governor's men have got to do to earn their place. Daryl hasn't shied away from dirty work in the past, has been willing to step up when Rick needed him. She still remembers that boy in the barn, she knows at least a little of what happened then. That was different though, that was to keep them safe, to serve a higher cause. Rick - from what little she'd known of him, Rick was a leader they all could have followed, and she can understand why Daryl would be willing to get his hands dirty for him. The Governor though... Beth doesn't know enough about him yet, but what they've heard from Merle so far isn't inspiring her to do the same.

 

//

 

The days pass, and every day it grows colder.

 

They fall into a new routine, in the same almost easy way they've always fallen into every one before that. Daylight breaks and they each wake up to prepare for their day, climbing out of a tangle of sheets and blankets. If Beth has shifted closer to him during the night seeking warmth, then Daryl never comments on it, never acknowledges it at all.

 

The first person to get ready is also the one to prepare breakfast, and it varies depending on the day. Twice a week they receive their ration of eggs from the town's hens, and those are the best days.

 

Then it's off to work, as Daryl drops her to the commissary before he joins his own post, or heads out to check the snares if he's scheduled on for later. The end of the day and either he'll be waiting outside for her when she gets off, or Beth will make her own way home, to wait for his arrival.

 

She could go elsewhere, make friends, or find some other activity, but it still doesn't feel quite right to her. Beth knows these can never be their people, and in the time they've been on the road they've both gotten too used to their own company. So she goes to their apartment and locks the door behind her, and uses the time to read, or prepare their dinner, or just to sit and think, singing softly to herself.

 

It becomes their life, and it's not so bad. They're safe and they're warm and they're well fed, and at the end of the day there's Daryl at the door, calling out for her to let him in, giving her that look that he sometimes does. Not a smile exactly, but an acknowledgement, and a question, checking to see if she's well after the day spent apart. 

 

Beth has come to wait for that look, for the weight of his eyes on her, his considering gaze. 

 

And so for all Merle's warnings, they're yet to encounter anything of concern. Neither of them have attracted the Governor's notice, though they know they're still watched on the days they go beyond the wall. Beth has grown better in the fortnight that has passed since they've begun, her aim better and quicker than what it was. Twice now, Daryl has allowed her to take down a passing walker with the bow. The first time she had wasted her attempt and needed to finish it with her knife, the second time her shot had been true.

 

They don't see much of Merle, keeping to themselves as they do, though on the days he's tasked with tailing them, he'll come over to speak. She usually excuses herself, not because he makes her uncomfortable, but to allow Daryl some privacy. They talk in low voices, Daryl's eyes darting to her occasionally, and Beth knows that there's things about this place he's not telling her. He's purposefully keeping her in the dark so that they might see out the winter here, without her worrying.

 

It should annoy her, have her calling him out on it, challenging him that she can handle it too. Beth understands though, she knows why Daryl feels the need to do so. He hasn't told her everything, has told her almost nothing in fact, of what he was before they met, but she's picked up on things along the way. She knows it by the snatches of childhood stories, by everything he hasn't said. He's seen so much darkness, fought his way through it without allowing it to overcome him, with nobody but himself to keep him safe.

 

And now there's her, and although Beth might not know exactly what Daryl thinks about her, she knows that he considers her his to protect. That maybe he hopes he can do for her what was never done for him. She'll allow him that, she can still be his partner while letting him protect her in his own way. Beth can see the way it's been changing Daryl, the trust she places in him, and she thinks it seems like a good thing, a right thing.

 

She can see how it's helping him to step out from his brother's shadow.

 

If Daryl learned from an early age to turn inwards to protect himself, remaining apart from the world, then Merle coped instead by challenging it, always with an eye to the next fight, never able to let down his guard.

 

Now here Beth is, under the protection of one brother while the other still can't decide what to make of her. Merle knows that something has changed, he can sense it in Daryl, in the way he doesn't follow as easily as he once would've. Merle doesn't understand it though, he can't, when he's never known it himself. So he challenges, and comments, and tries to put it in terms that he can understand.

 

No, Merle doesn't make Beth uncomfortable, as much as he might try, but he does make her a little sad.

 

//

 

Daryl is on late watch when there's a knock at the apartment door, an unexpected occurrence.

 

There's a moment of worry, fear that something might have happened to him, but Beth steels herself, picking up her knife as she walks forward, peering out of the peephole before she opens it.

 

Merle is lounging against the door frame, and Beth shuts the door quickly behind him once he's inside.

 

"Daryl's not here, but he should be back in a bit. Do you want some food while you wait?" Beth offers.

 

Merle whistles softly through his teeth, "Well look at you, all Southern hospitality and sweet as peach pie. No wonder Daryl keeps you around, even if you do think you're too good to at least suck his cock, after all he's done for you."

 

Beth knows he's expecting her to cringe away from his crudeness, but she doesn't back down, instead she holds Merle's gaze as she replies slowly and deliberately. "No, I think _he's_ too good for it."

 

He sneers at her, laughs, a low rumble in his throat. "You're still a little girl if you believe that. Think there's a man alive that doesn't want to get his rocks off? Wouldn't want your sweet ass? Maybe my brother's being a saint, giving himself blue balls and not asking for what he's owed, but you can be sure he wants it all the same. You're the one not giving it up."

 

Beth squares her chin, looks Merle straight in the eye before she replies. "I don't know what Daryl does or doesn't want, but I know he'd never want a woman like _that_ , like she was obligated, like she didn't have a choice. Maybe he's the only one left like that, the only good man left alive, but he _is_ good." She takes a step forward then, watches as Merle regards her, his expression shifting and almost wary as he does, "And whatever is or isn't between us, that's our business, nothing for you to stick your nose in. Now did you come here for a reason or are you just passing your time needling at me?"

 

Merle is watching her with an expression that's hard to interpret, more guarded than he usually is and uncommonly silent for a moment before he replies. "Came to warn y'all. Friday night there'll be a fight, bit of entertainment for the locals. It's something they enjoy round here and you'll be expected to attend, and to look like you're havin' a real good time while you're there."

 

"What kind of fight?" Beth asks him, even as Merle's already heading for the door, ready to see himself out.

 

"Some of our good ol' boys here against the biters, show 'em what we're made of." Merle chuckles when he sees the shocked expression in her face, "See now, don't say Merle doesn't do anything for you. Make that expression on Friday and you'll land yourself in some real trouble. See that you don't, blondie."

 

He's gone soon after, the door wrenched shut behind him, and Beth moves from where she stands.

 

Merle might have surprised her, thrown her off kilter somewhat, but Beth knows from experience that forewarned is forearmed. They need this place for now, need it at least until winter is over, and they can't afford to attract attention to themselves in case it endangers that.

 

She heads to the kitchen, intending to complete the dinner preparations, and resolves to put it from her mind till the day arrives.

 

//

 

She's singing when he arrives home, an old Leonard Cohen song that her mamma used to love, before everything that happened. Her mamma always was a romantic, had to be to see a man worth saving in her daddy, to see past all the trouble at the time.

 

_Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin_

_Dance me through the panic till I'm gathered safely in_

_Touch me with your naked hand or touch me with your glove_

_Dance me to the end of love_

 

She'd heard his key in the lock but thought to finish her song anyway, as close to the end as she was. So she sings, the notes dying as she finally turns to face him, and there stands Daryl in the doorway, his shoulder propped against the side, and the look on his face...

 

It rushes into her, fills her up with a sudden, sharp pang that's almost a physical ache.

 

There's a nakedness there, a vulnerability, and for the first time she knows she's seeing a hint of what he hasn't allowed her to until now, of the depth of what she's suspected he's begun to feel for her.

 

Then he notices her watching and blinks, his face shuttered, and just like that the moment is gone, the strange tension that had been building erased.

 

Beth almost wishes that he'd taken a step forward instead, and reached out a hand with which to touch her. 

 

She meant every word she said to Merle. Daryl is too good for that, to have those expectations. The last good man in the world as far as she knows. It wouldn't be like that if she were the one to choose though, if she were to initiate things.

 

She feels it, somewhere inside her, the shift. She has been aware of him for months now, first simply as a companion, as a friend. It's only been recently that she's allowed herself to think of other possibilities. Beth thinks she might know what she wants, but the decision once taken seems to her to be so very final that she can't bring herself to do so.

 

It's them now, until the end. That end might come quickly, or it may take years, but she knows they'll be together until it does. Is it the right decision to change what they are to each other, are they ready for that? She doesn't know if she is, she's almost certain that Daryl isn't.

 

So instead of taking the step forward that might take her to him, she smiles instead, a little self consciously, welcoming him home, and moves to grab the food she'd prepared earlier, bringing it to the table as he ducks his head in response, a gruff gratefulness to him.

 

They do what they can for each other, and even though there's no words of thankfulness exchanged between them, they're not needed. Beth thinks she's got Daryl's measure after so many days together, and no matter what Merle might say, he doesn't expect anything in return for what he gives. He still seems surprised by whatever small kindnesses she can find to do for him.

 

It makes her want to try all the harder, to reach a day when it no longer surprises him, when he thinks himself worthy of that attention, of whatever care she gives him.

 

There's a great deal that she still doesn't know about Woodbury, and Merle's cryptic warnings haven't exactly assuaged any doubts she has. It was always intended to be a pit stop on the way to somewhere else, a chance to rest and to see out the winter before they continue their search.

 

She's beginning to see though... It's hard to even put it into words, seems like a betrayal almost, but she's beginning to see how they could make a life here. By themselves.

 

She shouldn't think it, it's far too soon and she knows, she _knows_ that her family is out there, that they have to be. She hasn't given up, doesn't think she'll ever be willing to, but this... This is _real_ and it's right now, and given what the world is these days, it's more than she should have been able to hope for.

 

Sitting at a table with Daryl Dixon, in a real honest to god apartment, with running water and piped gas, and candles for light, as he hunches over the meal placed in front of him, eating quickly but trying to mind his manners, using the cutlery she'd laid out for them.

 

This is life. And it's not so bad.

 

Beth doesn't know if he even realises he's doing it, but he tries so hard for her, and the knowledge of it hits something low and hard in her gut, an almost physical pain of realisation. 

 

He doesn't want her the way Merle thinks he should, not as something that's owed, not as some type of prize for his goodness, a medal for doing the right thing. She's not even sure if he knows properly himself, if wanting her has become a coherent thought in his mind.

 

Beth knows though, knows it in the ways he reacts to her sometimes, in the glances he'll shoot her way when he thinks she isn't watching, in the way his shoulders will hunch sometimes when he feels too much has been revealed, a thumb coming to his mouth to let him worry at the nail. She doesn't know if he's prepared to allow himself to want her, but she knows it's there all the same, gnawing away slowly at his resolve.

 

And her? What does she want?

 

Beth watches him then, watches him until sensing it, he looks up from his food, fixes his eyes on her and gives her a look.

 

"Dinner ain't gonna eat itself." Daryl tells her, and Beth bends over her own meal, keeping her eyes focused on it even if her thoughts are elsewhere.

 

She's not ready to make a decision, not really, and she doubts he's ready for her to make one either. She thinks she knows what she wants though, thinks that after all they've been through, after knowing Daryl's own brand of gruff sweetness, that it would be difficult to want anything else.

 

One day. If they have enough days to get there.

 

"Your brother was here," Beth announces, as Daryl's finishing his last spoonful, and he freezes for a second, an enquiring look on his face. "Came to warn us about a fight that's organised for Friday night, some type of contest between people and walkers."

 

The very idea gives her the creeps and Daryl frowns, "Sounds like a dumbass idea to me."

 

"Yeah well, Merle said to be careful how we reacted, don't want to draw attention to ourselves."

 

Daryl nods, and then ducks his head slightly before he looks back up at her, his expression earnest. "He give you any trouble? Don't know when to quit sometimes."

 

She could tell him. She could tell him, but then Beth knows she'd have to see him take that knowledge into himself, to watch him retreat from her, even more careful to keep his distance than he is now, and she doesn't want that.

 

"Nah," she tells him instead, "Nothing I can't handle."

 

He nods, collecting his plate to take it to the sink and she pauses for a minute to watch him go.

 

Maybe it's stupid, and maybe it's impossible, but she can see them making a life here, she can picture exactly how it might go. If the Governor should turn out to not be so bad as Merle thinks, or if they can just avoid his attention, then maybe they could stay here, use it as a base for finding the others.

 

All they need to do is stay quiet, mind their own business, and wait it out.

 

Do that, and they could have an actual future, the first one Beth's been able to imagine since the farm fell.

 

It could be possible, she knows it could. 

 

It's a shame then, when it all falls apart at the Friday night fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your patience with me. I do feel like I've passed a corner now, and I hope the writing will be easier from here on in. Your reviews are definitely what keeps me going!


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen**

_Now_

They do take Carl out with them, in the end.

It takes a conversation with Rick, one that Daryl would've preferred not to have. He doesn't mind the man, but they're not friends, and it's not a comfortable thing to have to tell a man he's not doing the right thing by his son.

Daryl does it though, he does it because someone has to, and nobody at the prison seems willing to step up to the task.

"The farming's good," he tells Rick, "but your boy needs to learn how to survive out there. Me and Beth, we could help teach him, if you like."

Rick had looked away, over the plots of vegetables, and shook his head. "We've got fences here, walls. He's safe, let him be a boy. Let him be one while there's time."

It had been then that Daryl had reached out, touching the other man's arm briefly to gain his attention, his hand retreating almost immediately. "Think those walls will last forever? Never do. They'll fall, and he'll have to make it out there again. Let him start learning how."

It's how they find themselves in the woods today, along with Carl and Michonne. Daryl's not sure why the woman's joined them, whether she's genuinely interested in learning to track and set snares, or whether Rick's asked her to keep an eye on his boy. Daryl doesn't mind either way, Michonne minds her own business and she's good in a fight; knows how to move properly in the woods too, footsteps light so as not to make a noise. Wouldn't expect anything less from her with that samurai shit she's got going on.

As for the boy, he's quiet. Quieter than Daryl remembers him being back on the farm. Back then it had seemed as if he was filled with all this brash energy and overconfidence, eager to prove himself and poking his nose in everywhere. Carl's changed just as they all have, grown up too fast and Daryl knows a thing or two about that himself. Maybe that's why he'd wanted to do this, have the kid along with them for the day and teach him a few things. Rick's a good dad, nothing like his, but trying to keep the boy protected won't do him any good when the dead come knocking.

So they make their way through the woods, an unlikely group, and Daryl finds himself impressed by how quiet the pair of them are, how Carl listens intently to what Daryl and Beth are saying, venturing guesses when he's asked his opinions on things. Michonne listens too, but with one ear to their surrounds, looking out for any trouble that might come their way. She does listen though, and when Daryl catches her gaze there's respect there and some sort of understanding that he's not too familiar with. She's been taking their measure all this while and it might be that she's finally decided she's got it.

They'd left before dawn and it's getting on to evening by the time they return, five rabbits for all their troubles, but no deer. It's alright, Daryl's not too hung up on it. The rabbits will go some way in feeding the prison population, and they'll take the boy out with them again, whether Michonne joins them or not.

The gate is opened quickly then shut behind them; but before there's a chance to announce their success, Rick is already backing off, holding up a hand when Carl goes to join him.

"Got a bit of a situation here, can't let you all go up to the main block."

"What's going on?" It's Michonne that speaks first, before the rest of them can, and Rick sighs, passing a hand heavily over his face.

"Seems we're in the middle of an epidemic. Patrick was sick, died of it this morning and did some damage when he turned. Thought we had it contained but there's people falling sick left, right and centre, best if you keep yourselves quarantined. There's been two more deaths after his."

"My dad? Maggie?" Beth's voice is tense, and Daryl takes a step towards her, putting a hand on her shoulder as they wait for the answer.

"They're both fine," Rick reassures her, "But Glenn's got signs of coming down with it. Maggie's been quarantined, she's looking after the kids, while your Dad is helping Doctor S. He's given me a list of drugs for you to pick up, reckons you should be able to get them at the veterinary college a couple of towns over, shouldn't have been picked clean yet. Head out at first light, grab them and be back as quick as you can."

"Dad, is Judy okay?" Carl asks, and Rick looks towards his son, nods quickly and sighs once more. "She's with the other kids, doesn't seem to have hit any of the younger ones, thank god. It's better if you stay out here though, Carl, remain in the guard tower till it's over."

"But I want to go with them," Carl protests, "I can help, you know I can."

"They'll be worrying about you instead of worrying about what they should be doing." Rick tells him, but it's not meant unkindly. "You be there to open the gate for them once they're back." He looks back towards Michonne then, "I know it'll be tight with just the three of you, but I'd prefer to keep you all away from anyone who's been exposed."

They all nod, and glancing down, Daryl can see the worry in Beth's face. Taking the brace of rabbits off his shoulder, he removes one and tosses the rest towards Rick, who catches it. "You'll all need to be keeping your strength up, can take that in to 'em."

Rick nods his thanks, places Hershel's list of medicines down on the ground, and telling Carl one last time to stay safe, heads back up towards the prison.

"We don't even know who died." Beth murmurs, gripping Daryl's hand tightly, "We don't know."

"We know your Dad and Maggie are fine, and we know we gotta get this medicine quick for Glenn." Daryl replies, "Let's settle in for the night now, we leave first thing."

They move into the guard tower, dividing themselves into shifts for the night since they're now the only ones available to keep watch. Despite Carl's protests, Daryl keeps him off duty.

"You'll be all alone keeping watch out here tomorrow, gotta stay sharp, look out for ours while they can't look out for themselves. Can't have you falling asleep the moment we need that gate opened."

Daryl knows the kid's not really buying it, but it seems to make him feel a little better at least, an important task to carry out for the rest of 'em, rather than simply being left behind.

He takes first watch and the night is quiet, though it makes Daryl wonder just how many more might be dying up at the prison, and who'll be left by the time they make it back.

He wakes up Michonne on schedule, a hand to her shoulder enough to get her moving, then lowers himself down to face Beth where she lies, curled in upon herself as if seeking comfort. He only hesitates for a moment before throwing an arm over her and drawing her closer. Her features seem to relax in her sleep and one hand reaches out sleepily to rest upon his bicep where he's folded one arm under his head to make a pillow. He doesn't turn around to see Michonne's reaction, finds it doesn't bother him as much as he thought it might. She ain't one to judge, and if she does, well it don't make a difference to him now that they've made their choice.

So the night passes and he takes his rest, rousing only for a moment when Beth rises to replace Michonne.

When dawn breaks and he feels Beth's hand on him, fingers lightly passing through his hair, he knows it's time to go. They've got things to do, and there's people counting on them to get it done fast.

//

It takes them longer to reach the veterinary college than he would've liked. There's a herd on the way that they only narrowly avoid, Daryl slamming on the brakes as soon as he'd seen them and reversing till it was safe to turn the car around. They'd had to find another route, and every moment he was aware of time ticking away from them, Glenn and the others waiting on their return.

He doesn't know much about who else might be affected, but these are their people now, they've chosen that by deciding to stay. It ain't like the other times, not like the quarry or the farm, or Woodbury later, where he'd stayed through lack of any real choice. Beth and he have belonged to each other for the longest time now, and they've chosen to add people to that, to call something theirs. Maybe it hadn't been so smooth the first couple of weeks, but they've settled in, made it their home. Made the prison community their people. He'd have stayed for Beth's sake alone so that she could have her family, but Daryl knows it's not just that anymore, knows it's for more than just for her sake.

"You know where we should be heading?" Michonne asks Beth as they size up the outside of the building, checking entry and exit points and trying to get a count of just how many walkers might be inside.

Beth nods before rattling off a couple of department names, indicating the most likely places for the medicines to be. It doesn't surprise Daryl that she'd know. He can just imagine her as she must have once been, a young girl who idolised her dad, maybe wanted to be just like him when she grew up.

"You ever think about this?" He asks, jerking his head towards the building, somehow encompassing an entire alternate life in the gesture.

Beth shrugs, her gaze fixed on the building, perhaps just a hint of wistfulness there. "Sure, I thought about it. Hadn't made a decision, I was thinking about music too, or working with kids, but I liked animals and Daddy... Daddy would've liked it if one of us took over the clinic." She chuckles then, low and perhaps a little sad, "If things had been different I might have been there right now, in my first year."

"Just how old are you?" Michonne asks, a slight tone of surprise in her voice.

"I must be 18 by now," Beth guesses, "My birthday should have been a couple of months back by the seasons."

Michonne is quiet, her gaze contemplative, and Daryl waits for her to say something, for the condemnation he knows must be coming when Michonne is well aware of just what they are.

"You got something to say, just say it," he mutters, and Michonne fixes him with a look, her gaze both bright and slightly sardonic.

"I ever said anything yet, Dixon?" She queries, then shakes her head. "I just always thought Beth was older from the way she carries herself. Must have had to grow up quick on the road."

"I had to grow up the moment we lost the others." Beth comments, before glancing towards Daryl, "But it's not a bad thing, I needed to change and I did."

"You did, alright." Daryl confirms, "Both of us did."

Michonne looks between the two of them, her gaze fixed first to one face then the next, but there's no judgement there, no scorn, nothing to show she finds them to be anything out of the ordinary. "If you two are done chatting now, then let's go and finish this."

He nods, turning to Beth to check that she's ready, and they climb from the car.

//

There's a couple of near misses, but Michonne's damn handy with that sword of hers, and in the end they get through it without any major injuries. They've all got one eye on the time, and Daryl can tell Beth's getting more anxious as the minutes tick by, wondering who else the illness has taken, if Glenn's still holding on, if her Dad and Maggie have been struck down.

Michonne's harder to read, but he knows she's got ties there, people she's eager to get home to. There's Andrea for one, and a bond of sorts with Rick and Carl. Him, he's keeping it together, has to for all their sakes. Would hate to lose any of them, especially those he's known since near the beginning, but as long as Beth's there he knows he won't fall apart, knows he'd get back up again like he always does. In the last year he's learned that he doesn't need someone to follow, doesn't need a group to get by, no matter how much it helps to have one. Beth Greene though, Daryl knows he wouldn't be able to get through one day without her, just wouldn't be no point in trying no more.

So they speed home, and when they reach there the day's only half way done. Carl's there ready to open the gate, a look of relief on his face as he lets them in then shuts it fast behind them.

"Any news?" Daryl asks, and the boy shakes his head.

"Dad came down to check on me before, but he kept his distance. Wouldn't tell me anything about what was going on inside except that Judy was still safe."

Daryl nods, then gesturing to Beth, takes the bag she holds out to him, before jerking his head back to the guard tower. "Y'all stay here, I'll get this to them."

He's halfway up the slope when he sees Rick opening the inner gate, the man gesturing to him to stop where he is.

"Better if you keep your distance till it's all over," Rick tells him, "You got the stuff?"

Daryl nods, "Everything on the list. How's it going in there?"

Rick looks exhausted and he passes a tired hand over his face. "There's been more deaths, but not... Not any of the people you know well."

"You get that into them then, give us the all clear when it's done. Me and Beth, we'll go and do some hunting, try and get some meat back to you tonight for everyone."

Rick gives him a grateful nod, and placing the bag on the ground, Daryl starts down the slope, even as the other man sprints over to pick it up.

He doesn't know how many days it might take to clear all this up, but one thing's for certain, people are gonna be hungry, and it's his job to see they're fed.

//

Another night in the guard tower, waiting for the dawn to tell them what's to come.

Carl is already curled up asleep, and Michonne has taken first watch, staring steadily into the black night, her back to them.

A few days back, Daryl might have questioned whether it was a good idea for Beth and he to lie together like this, putting all their cards in the open so to speak. She needs the comfort though, it's not easy not knowing what's going on in there with her sister or her Dad, and he has to admit that he could do with some too. It had hit him earlier that day, how things might have been different if they hadn't gone out hunting that day, effectively quarantining themselves from the rest of the population. Could just as easily be her fighting for her life right now, could just as easily be him.

So when it came time to sleep, he'd folded his jacket for a pillow, lain down and extended his arm, gesturing to her to bring her in, and she'd gladly curled into him, head resting on his shoulder. Didn't matter none that the kid was still awake, exhausted and getting ready to rest but his eyes on them nonetheless. Didn't matter that Michonne was there neither, giving them a brief flicker of her eyes before she turned away and back to her duty.

Earlier they'd made their way through the forest, managing to bag 3 rabbits from the snares before resetting them, and a few squirrels besides. They'd picked some vegetables to go with it, leaving the lot of it near the inner gate for Rick or someone else to collect, keeping only enough for their own needs that night.

It's worn on them both, the uncertainty they've faced since yesterday and the worry for those they care about. Together with the run and their hunt, they should both be ready to pass out, but Daryl can see that Beth's restless, far too worried to sleep.

He trails his fingers across the arm that rests under his hand, pressing the side of his head to the crown of hers as he does so, and willing her to sleep.

"Think you really would have gone to that college?" He asks finally, his voice kept purposefully quiet so as not to wake Carl, where he sleeps on the other side of the tower.

Beth is silent for a moment, and he can feel her shift against him, her face turning towards his as if to see his expression.

"I don't know to be honest... I'd thought about it, about following in daddy's footsteps. But there was still Shawn then, and he would have most likely taken over the farm. Part of me wanted to go to a big city to study, and part of me wanted to stick close to home."

He's silent, his thoughts busy inside him as he turns them over, thinking about that life that might have been.

Beth raises her head slightly from his shoulder to look him in the eye, recognising his silence for what it is.

"What are you thinking about, Daryl?"

"Nothing... Just... wouldn't have been no room for me in that life. Wouldn't have ever met you to begin with." He shrugs, "Woulda been a better life for you, no doubt of that."

He can picture it in his head, that boyfriend of hers from the farm, or maybe some boy she'd meet at college, someone who'd know all the right things to say, take her out to nice places and get her gifts. She'd have married eventually, had children, no matter what career she chose, and it would've been a good life for her, a happy life. Him, though? He still would've been nothing, just like he was before all this started.

"Well yeah, no walkers to fight off, no constant danger, that would have been nice." Beth gives a quiet laugh at the obviousness if the statement. "But who says we wouldn't have met? You never know."

"Nah, better if we hadn't. The way I was then, following Merle around blindly, couldn't have done nothing good for you. Don't know if I ever would've found my way."

"Maybe I would've helped you find it," Beth suggests, and there's such sincerity in her voice that he knows she believes it, knows no matter how unrealistic it is, that she can imagine a life for them together in the world of _before_. "Maybe you would've helped me find mine too."

"Yeah and maybe your Dad would've shot me," Daryl snorts then, "Still might."

He can feel Beth shaking her head against his shoulder and for a moment they're both quiet, before he hears her soft voice once again, filling up the darkness. "I don't think I can imagine a life without you anymore, Daryl, even one that came before. Just seems wrong, seems like something would be missing and I'd know it, I would have to know it somehow, even if we never met."

He wonders if that's what it was, the emptiness in him for all those years, the sense that he'd missed out on something, the pointlessness of trying to break out on his own. He's not a romantic, can't be with the life he's had, but maybe it was because of her. That emptiness inside him for all those years, just waiting to be filled by her.

He can't put it into words though, not really, although he thinks Beth might understand anyway, without him saying it. So instead he just tightens his grip on her, pressing her closer to him. "Know what you mean," he says, and it's enough.

They drift off to sleep together, the night quiet around them, and he holds her close,and tries not to think of might have beens and should have beens.

He has her, here and now, as she has him, each of them where they're supposed to be. He's not the man he was then, one who wouldn't hVe deserved her, he knows he's not. He's not nothing anymore, hasn't been for sometime, and he can be what she needs.

The others, they'll just have to see it too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry. I am so so so so sorry about how long it took to get this chapter up. I've been battling serious writer's block the past few months, with zero creativity, I think mainly due to exhaustion. I was so relieved when I finally felt like writing again and I think I've turned a corner now, I've even got a bit of the next chapter written!
> 
> A huge thank you to everyone who has reviewed, it's what made me keep pushing myself to go back to writing when it was tough to do so.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who reviews, you keep me motivated as I struggle to get the next chapter out as quickly as possible!

**Chapter Sixteen**

_Then_

It's lucky that Merle had thought to come and warn them, cause Daryl can just imagine the reaction Beth might have had to the fight if he hadn't. As it is they sit at the back of the stands, each of their faces kept purposefully neutral, and he can feel the tension radiating off her.

She'd explained it earlier, why the idea was so objectionable to her, and while he'd never thought of it that way before he got it. 

"Maybe they're walkers now, but they used to be people, they used to be someone's family. They shouldn't be used for fun or entertainment after what's happened to them. What if it was someone we knew, someone we loved?"

Now that she's said it, he can't help thinking it as well, can't help wondering just who these walkers once were as he watches the men down in the pit baiting them, purposefully dodging out of reach when they get close as if to wear them down.

It's idiotic is what it is. They're dead, ain't nothing gonna wear them down now except a knife to the head.

But they know it's expected of them, and so they watch, and when a walker is finally killed they both let up a half hearted cheer along with the rest of the crowd. Meanwhile Daryl's calculating just how long this might take, how long till they can leave and be back in their apartment, Beth humming under her breath as she combs her hair before bed, the light of her bedside candle a warm glow on her face.

His attention has slipped as he's thought it, and he doesn't notice the accident until after it's already occurred.

Dodging and weaving around his walker, taking jabs at it now and again, one of the Governor's men hasn't noticed that as it's struggled, the stake binding it to the ground has come loose. All it takes is a moment of hesitation and the walker is on him, tearing the flesh out of his neck as screams sound from the audience and chaos erupts.

He hadn't brought his crossbow to the fight and it probably wouldn't have been safe to fire it anyway with the number of people that are running, shoving each other out of the way as they try to get to safety.

Good crowd control and it might have been handled in less than a minute, but in the chaos it appears one more walker has gotten free and he can already hear the screams of pain as it bites a woman attempting to flee.

"Stay here and keep your knife out!" Daryl barks at Beth, who while clearly nervous, acts quickly to comply.

Shoving Woodbury citizens out of the way, Daryl quickly makes his way into the thick of things, dispatching two walkers with quick knife thrusts to the head, while the other two are handled by the Governor's guards. Seeing two of the victims dead on the ground, he pierces each of their skulls, not wanting the trouble to start up all over again as soon as they rise.

It's over finally, the screams dying to whimpers and moans instead, and he stands up, his eyes immediately seeking Beth where he left her, standing with the knife held tightly in her grip as he'd instructed. Daryl gives her a tense nod as a wave of relief rolls through him, and he holds out his hand in a gesture, waiting for her to come down and join him so they can finally go home; call it a night and hope that the locals get some sense before think about planning something like this in future again.

She reaches him at last and without stopping to think about the meaning of the gesture, he throws an arm over her shoulders, drawing her close against his side as they turn to go.

It's then that he sees exactly what his actions have accomplished, sees it in the eyes of the Governor upon him, a cold, calculated interest in them. 

Daryl's gone and done exactly what Merle told him not to, he's brought himself to the man's attention.

//

It's not until the next day when they come for him, as he stands on the walls as part of the afternoon guard shift. There's Martinez with Merle along for the ride, telling him that he's wanted in the Governor's office, right then and there.

So Daryl goes, it's not like he has much choice in the matter. He stands there and waits for what he knows must be coming, for what Merle warned him might happen. Daryl crosses his arms, tucking each of his hands beneath his armpits, and tries not to think of Beth, where she must be and what she might be doing at this time.

He wonders if she'll come up in the conversation. He knows just what it is they have to hold against him.

When the Governor walks into the room, Daryl realises it's the first time he's been in close quarters with him since they arrived. He and Beth have done their best to avoid the man's notice, and that's largely meant avoiding the man himself. 

Phillip Blake settles himself behind his desk, taking his time to get comfortable before he starts to speak.

"I saw what you did there at the fight, Daryl. I'd like to thank you for your quick thinking, you managed to save more than a few lives because of it."

Daryl bites back a response about how he wouldn't have needed to if they hadn't had such a dumbass idea in the first place. Instead he just nods, mumbling that it wasn't nothin' and hoping that'll be the end of it. It isn't though, just as he knew it wouldn't be.

"Man like you, seems a waste to have you just on guard duty. I think we can find some extra work that would be more fitting for you, how would you feel about joining these here men for the work that keeps this community really safe?"

Daryl wants to ask what that work is, he wants to ask if he has a choice in the matter, in the end doing so would just make matters worse. "Alright, I s'pose." He mumbles instead, shrugging his shoulders.

The Governor seems nonplussed by Daryl's lukewarm response, making a gesture to Martinez where he stands nearby.

"Martinez will let you know what needs to be done, we'll keep you on standby until something comes up."

Daryl nods and at the sign of dismissal turns to leave, prepared to go back to his post. It's what Merle had warned him of, and it's what he was desperately hoping to avoid. It seems it's found him now though and if he wants to live out the winter in peace here he's going to need to fall in line.

//

"You've gone and done it now, baby brother." Merle's tone is mocking but his eyes are serious, as they stand slightly apart from Beth, where she's practicing with the crossbow at a target Daryl's set up.

He wouldn't have minded her being part of the conversation, but he knows Merle will talk more freely without her involved, and right now what he needs most of all is information. If he's going to keep her safe then he needs to know what's coming, he needs to know what's going to be expected of him so that he knows how to handle it.

"What's he gonna want from me?"

"We're there to do the dirty work, Darylina, gonna have to be prepared to get those lily white hands of yours bloody."

He hadn't thought of it exactly in those terms, though he'd known what that type of role was for. "You mean kill people?"

"Kill, maim, hurt. Whatever he says, that's what goes. You gonna be able to do it? Still got some fight left in you, or little miss sunshine taken that too along with your balls?"

He hesitates, and Merle sees it and laughs, low and bitter. "You always were the sweet one, baby brother, but you've got yourself in a mess and it's time to man up and do what you've got to do."

"And if I say no? If I tell him I won't do it?"

"You ain't been listening to a word I've said, have you?" Merle hisses, and there's anger there but Daryl thinks he sees some fear in his brother's gaze as well. "Nobody tells him no. If you're planning to then you'd better get yourself out fast, and the little missy as well, or you don't want to know what he'll do to the pair of you."

Without needing to ask, Daryl already knows that Merle's done whatever he needed to in order to earn his place here. His brother's not a bad man, not in Daryl's eyes, but he's never been shy of turning to violence when he's needed to, his time in the army taught him all he needed to know for that.

Daryl's participated in beat downs before, including taking over with Randall so that Rick wouldn't have to. That was different though. That was necessary, to keep the group safe. He's only ever killed one man, and that was to put him out of his misery as he lay on the ground, bleeding out and in agonising pain. Even then, it had twisted something inside him to have to do it, to end the life of a friend in that way.

"What type of people are these, the ones he'll ask us to hurt?"

"Anyone who gets on the wrong side of him," Merle shrugs, spits in the snow then looks back at his brother, "This guy walks in one day, clean clothes, seemed well fed, had a story about his community being overrun. The Governor though, he wasn't buying it. Thought he must be a scout for some other group looking to take over this place. Had him beaten for two days straight before he gave up, then shot him in the head cause he couldn't let him go." He sees the look in Daryl's eyes at this tale, the distaste at what's been done, and Merle's own gaze darkens. "I've done what I had to do to stay here. Now you'd better make your choice, little brother, cause if you think you can't do what's needed then you better run while you've got the chance."

It's not an easy choice. He looks to Beth, as she stands in front of the target, lining it up before she releases the bolt, the look of satisfaction on her face when it hits home before she turns to see if he's seen, giving him a small grin in response to his approving nod. She turns back and he takes her in then, the way her coat hangs off her small frame, not truly warm enough for this weather. They're only a month into winter by his reckoning, with two more to go, and he doesn't want her out on the road in conditions like this. He might be able to make it on his own but it would be a miracle if she did. He doesn't know if he can get the two of them through if they're on their own out there, he doesn't want to think about the consequences if he can't.

//

Beth waits until they're back to their apartment to ask, just as he'd known she would. 

Someone weaker might not have, might have preferred not to know just so they could stay here, safe and comfortable and without any trouble to their conscience. Beth though, sometimes he thinks she's too strong for her own good.

She doesn't mince words, doesn't beat around the bush before asking. "What will you have to do if we want to stay?"

Daryl looks anywhere but her, can't bring himself to look her in the eye as he says the words. "Whatever he asks. Merle says we're there to do the dirty work, whatever it might be." He glances up briefly then, locks eyes with her and then tears his gaze away. "Don't worry about it, done plenty of bad things before in my life, won't be nothing new. We see out the winter here, and we'll be on our way come spring."

Beth is silent, and because Daryl's not looking at her he can't tell exactly what that might mean. He does hear her though, as she takes several quiet steps in his direction.

"Dirty work? What's that mean exactly? They'll want you to hurt people, to... To kill people?"

"Yes." He grits out between clenched teeth. "Told you, don't matter none. I'll do what I need to do for us to stay."

He almost reels backwards when he feels her small hand grip his chin, lifting it to make him look her in the eye, everything in her radiating sincerity. "That's not you, Daryl, that's not who you are."

It's a strange thing, but until this moment, until the choice had to be made, Daryl might have believed the same thing, might have been made to believe it by her faith in him. That's all gone now though, lost to what fate and the Governor has chosen. He's just redneck trash after all, someone's hired muscle, too damn soiled to be worthy of anyone like her.

So he knocks her hand roughly away, looming into her space as he breathes hard. "Think you know me, girl? 6 months on the run and you think you've got me all mapped out? You don't know shit. Don't know anything about what I've done, what sort of man I am. You close your eyes to this, and keep on doing what you got to do to get through. Me, I'll do the same, dirty my hands so you don't gotta. S'what I'm good for, all I'm good for."

He turns away, hoping that it'll send her running for the bedroom, to leave him be with his decision at least until the next day, when he'll be firmer in what he has to do.

It's only a moment that he stands there alone though before she crashes into him, her body pressed against his back, arms wrapping around him to hold him, head pressed to his shoulder blades.

"I don't know what you had to do to survive before you met me, Daryl, or what type of man you were, but I know the man that you are _now_. Don't pretend that I don't. I know you, same as how you know me. You're not a killer, you're not a man who hurts people unless there's no other choice, and I can't let you become that. Not for me."

It is difficult to put into words what he feels then at that moment. Her fierce defence of him, her slight arms wrapped around his body as if to pour her comfort into him. Ain't nobody ever believed in him like that his whole life, and he knows right then he can't let her down, knows at that moment that he can't do what the Governor would ask of him.

"Can't lose you." His voice breaks as he says it, and he turns to face her, for once not even trying to hide how he feels, allowing it to be writ large on his face. "And I don't know how to keep you alive out there if we have to run now."

But she reaches up to touch his face, fingertips soft against his cheek, and he can't help it when he closes his eyes, the contact too much for him, all of it too much and all at once.

"We do it together," Beth tells him softly, "Just as we've always done."

When they go to sleep that night he doesn't hesitate as he normally would to reach out to her. Taking her hand, Daryl stays still as Beth turns into him, her forehead against his arm, fingers still tangled with his.

Doesn't feel so impossible right now, doesn't feel as if they're fighting a losing battle at all.

//

Merle takes it just about as well as Daryl might have expected he would.

"That girl's really got you by the balls doesn't she, baby brother?" Merle chuckles darkly, but there's no mirth in his expression. They stand together on the wall, nobody close enough to hear them, able to speak openly now that they're apparently on the same team. "Things get a little tough and she's got you scared and running, ready to give in cause she wants you to keep her safe. Made you soft, is what it is, tugging you along on a leash like a pet dog. Using you is what it is."

"Cut the crap, Merle," Daryl is tired, exhausted from running possibilities through his mind, and less willing to put up with his brother's commentary than he usually would be. "Think Beth's soft? If she were soft then she'd stay put here, see out the winter. If she were using me then she wouldn't give a shit what I had to do to keep her comfortable and warm, she'd close her eyes to it like so many people are doing here. It ain't her decision, it's mine. I won't kill for him. Might've, once. But I ain't gonna do it, S'not who I want to be. You don't want to come then I can't make you, but you're my brother, Merle. I want you with us, we can make it together."

Merle looks at him for a long moment, and if Daryl didn't know better then he might say there's something like pride in his expression. It's not alone there though, there's something that Daryl would almost call shame if he didn't know better.

"You've changed since I lost you," Merle finally says, for once nothing of mockery or crudeness in his tone. "Not a bad thing, if you can keep your head. Could be that girl's done you good, even if she's not doing anything else for you."

Daryl can't help but snort at that, his brother unable to help himself even during what should be a serious heart to heart.

"Could be she'll do you some good too, Merle. Got a way about her."

"Nah," the expression is back again, hardness and grief mixed into one, "It's too late for ol' Merle to change, not enough time left for that, but you... You, baby brother, you've remade yourself for the new world, become something else now."

They stand together on the wall, backs to Woodbury and eyes to the road, and Daryl knows that they've reached an understanding, that they're closer now than perhaps they've ever been.

//

They've been planning for when they have to leave, been planning to go the next time they're all beyond the wall together. Merle's got a car stockpiled at some distance, some things in the trunk that they could use.

"Never knew when I might need it," he explains, "Can't work for a crazy man forever, one day he's gonna snap, take your balls off right where you stand."

They're making their plans, being cautious, going about their daily business so as not to arouse any suspicion. Daryl's been relieved to see the uneasy truce that seems to have developed between his brother and Beth, his brother no longer needling her whenever possible, keeping his comments to himself more often than not.

And Beth? She's as she's ever been, all sweetness and manners with a hint of steel underneath. She doesn't take no shit, but she'll put a man in his place in such a way that he won't mind finding himself there. Seems these days as if Merle doesn't mind her as much as he used to, might be that he's even come to like her a little though he'd never admit it.

Their plans are going well, they've decided they'll leave on the next Thursday, the day that Daryl and Beth usually go beyond the walls to hunt. If Merle's tasked with watching them that day he'll come with them then and there. If he's not then he'll meet up with them at a predetermined spot, near the car that Merle's set up himself for if he'd ever need it. 

It's all planned and they're waiting for the day to come, when the Governor calls a meeting for his inner circle.

It's the first time Daryl has been invited to a meeting like this, and he sticks to the back, trying to escape as much attention as possible, his eyes nevertheless fixed on the Governor as he saunters in, leaning over to place his hands on the wooden table in the middle of the room. He looks at each of them in turn, his eyes lingering on Daryl for what seems overly long, before he speaks.

"We've got a problem, boys, and one that needs handling quickly."

Nobody speaks, they stand rapt in attention, waiting for him to continue. Satisfied that he's got their attention, he does so.

"Turns out there's some army folks camped about 2 miles away from here, Jake spotted them on his recon. Now those men, they might be good, or they might be the type to come in here and take away everything we've worked so hard to protect. Now we can't have that, can't have our women and children at the mercy of these men if they should decide they want our town."

There's a murmur of agreement, not that it's really needed, before the Governor continues.

"Now we need to find out what the strength of these men is before we decide how to handle them. Jake, you and Daryl will head out at first light to get a proper feel for their camp, their numbers and their firepower. If there's not too many then maybe we'll give them a chance to surrender."

A few more instructions and he dismisses them. Daryl's surprised that he's been named but he supposes this is a test of sorts, a way to tell his loyalty. Sure enough, the Governor walks over to him and Jake as the other man discusses plans for the morning and fixes his gaze on Daryl, sharp and unwavering. 

"I'm sure you'll agree with my course of action, Daryl. You've got a woman of your own to protect after all, I know you'd hate to see anything happen to her."

"I'd kill any man who touched her." Daryl responds, his expression hard, his eyes narrowed as he thinks on the words said. There's a threat there as well as a reason for the commands, and he knows it's now or never. They get out tonight, or he might as well do exactly as the Governor says, become the sort of man he never wants to be.

The Governor's eyes are still fixed on Daryl, and there's something unnerving in his expression, as if he knows exactly what it is that's going through his mind. He nods finally though, inclining his head to tell them to go, and Daryl does exactly that.

Merle is on the road waiting, a little way from the apartment that Daryl shares with Beth, and Daryl approaches him, asking for a smoke to give them an excuse to speak.

"Gotta be tonight," he mutters to his brother, "You heard him. Anything goes wrong and we're not safe no more. Gotta get her out of here. You with us on this?"

Merle is silent, and there's a moment where Daryl wonders if he's changed his mind, as his brother draws in a breath of nicotine before exhaling it.

"You two get out tonight, baby brother, I'll stay here to do some damage control."

"Nah uh Merle, that ain't the plan. We get out together and we keep going, you know that's the only way."

Merle gives a low, dark chuckle. "Think that man's just gonna let you go? We get out of here, he'll have his men tracking us till they manage to hunt us down. Only way out of it is to kill him once and for all."

"Think you can do that? Think you'll just get out of here free once it's done? You're setting a damn suicide mission for yourself."

"Could be," Merle shrugs then and lights another cigarette, "But I've always been a hard man to kill. Maybe you're right but we gotta slow him down somehow, make sure he can't get after us till we're far enough away. Might be that I know another way, and we get this army camp to do our work for us."

Daryl shakes his head, eyes shifting to the road to ensure nobody's watching them. "It's a risk, Merle. Better that we get out together. We've got a car, we get far enough away and they're not gonna find us. Head to another part of the state, hell, maybe even leave Georgia. He ain't gonna chase us that far."

"Nah, maybe not. But he'll still be here, and he'll still take out that army camp, and when he's done he'll have even more weapons. You done your share of good deeds now, baby brother, taking that girl under your wing, maybe it's time for me to do one too."

There's no arguing with Merle, and no time to talk him round to Daryl's point of view, so instead they agree on a meeting point with enough vantage point to see if anyone else is coming. Merle will bring the car he's got hidden away to them while Daryl and Beth will be cutting cross country through the woods. He knows there's nobody else here besides his brother who's a good enough tracker to find them that way.

So he leaves Merle and walks home, unlocking the door with his key, and there's Beth on the sofa, her legs tucked under her as she reads by the light of a candle, humming a soft tune.

She looks up as soon as he enters the room, her expression expectant, nervous, and Daryl wishes it didn't have to be this way. They could've made a life here, could've had something good for a while longer. Instead he needs to drag her back onto the road, back into cold weather and uncertain food supplies where anything could happen to them.

"We gotta go, Beth," Daryl says, to the query she hasn't voiced. "We've gotta go tonight."

She nods, standing up from the sofa and putting down her book, and he sees she's already dressed except for her outerwear and boots. "I already got our packs ready, you want to check them to see if I've forgotten something?" 

Daryl nods, all words forgotten as he looks at her, her hair pulled into a simple braid, her clothing the warmest that she owns. She'll never get to finish that book now, there won't be any more evenings by candlelight, no more rations delivered in the morning for an easy breakfast, but she's ready and willing to go with no complaint at all.

They can do this together, they can. If he can just keep them warm enough, safe enough, then they can pull through. With Merle on their side maybe it'll become easier to survive out there, another person to fight off the walkers, to protect against other people, to hunt and scavenge.

Nothing is over, they've still got a chance, they can still make it work.

They've just got to get out of here alive first.

//

It's the dead of the night when they make their getaway, heading for a section of the wall that looks onto the woods, one that's not well guarded at night. It's easy to slip away in the dark, the sentries don't spot them and within a manner of seconds they're into the woods and under cover.

They might have gotten away easily enough, but Daryl's not going to grow complaisant. He sets them a gruelling pace, ensuring that Beth is never far from him, always close enough to reach out and touch. Mercifully they don't come across any walkers, and by the time dawn breaks they've put a good deal of distance between themselves and Woodbury, not enough for Daryl to be completely comfortable, but it would be hard for anyone to track them now, when they wouldn't have a clear idea which way they'd gone in the first place. 

Their pace has helped to keep them warm, but they've had to slow down as their energy levels drop, and he's keeping a careful eye on Beth as they make their way further for any sign of a chill.

The sun's rising now, increasing the temperature with it, and they trudge along, not quite ready to call a break yet.

"I wish Merle had just left with us," Beth comments, her voice kept purposefully low so as not to attract any attention, "Makes me nervous wondering if he got out okay. What if those soldiers won't listen to him, what if they think he's a threat?"

It's played on Daryl's mind too as they've run through the night, just where his brother might be and what he might be doing. It's a hell of a time for Merle to decide that he wants to do a turn for good, and he wonders just what it is that set his brother off on this path in the first place. Was it the fact that the men the Governor wanted to attack were army, memories of Merle's own time there giving him a reason? Or was it Daryl's insistence that he wasn't that type of man, that he wouldn't ever be? Merle has his own sense of right and wrong, even if he's chosen to ignore it these last few years. He's a stubborn son of a bitch too once he gets something in his head, there's no talking him out of it then.

"Yeah well, he'd better get himself away from there fast if he doesn't want the Governor tracking him down. Don't worry, ain't easy to kill Merle."

It ain't easy, but it ain't impossible either, and Daryl finds himself worrying as the day stretches on, knowing he won't know anything till they finally reach their destination.

//

Merle has made it there before them, as Daryl had suspected he might. The car's parked there by the side of the road, but Daryl doesn't step out into the open until he's surveyed the area properly, one hand on Beth's arm to ensure she stays back until he's done so.

There's nobody around though, except for Merle where he sits with his back against a tree, smoking a cigarette.

Daryl lets out a low whistle in a copy of a bird call, a pre-arranged signal to tell them whether it's safe to proceed. Merle turns his head at that, coughing suddenly before he brings it under control, and throwing the cigarette aside he uses his good hand as leverage against the tree to get to his feet.

"Come on out," he calls to them, "Ain't nobody here except me."

"How'd it go?" Daryl asks him, frowning as he notices how pale Merle is, the unhealthy colour of his face.

Merle laughs then low and bitter. "That fucking pansy Jake got me as I was leaving the army camp, jumped out on me with a fucking knife. Don't know if he followed me there or he was just doing recon as the Governor said, but I got him good before I got out of there. He ain't gonna be carrying any tales back to Woodbury now, and if the Governor tries to make a move on that camp then he's gonna get the surprise of his life."

Daryl crosses to his brother quickly, pushing aside Merle's hand to inspect the wound in his side, a hastily tied bandage about it. By the looks of it, Merle's already lost quite a bit of blood, and when Daryl tries to lift the bandage to inspect it, Merle shoves his hand away. 

"Just put me in the car and start driving, already lost too much time. Need to get some distance between us and that crazy son of a bitch."

"Nah Merle, gotta do something bout that wound first, reckon we could cauterise it if I could get a fire going, stop the blood and make sure there's no infection."

Daryl's about to turn to start gathering materials when Merle grabs his wrist with his good hand, his eyes fever bright and his teeth gritted against the pain.

"Now you listen to me, baby brother, we ain't got time for that and it's not going to make any fucking difference now anyway. Now you get me into that car and you get yourself and blondie in too, and we're gonna drive as far away from here as we can."

It's tough to argue with Merle at the best of times, and looking at him now, Daryl realises with a sinking feeling that Merle's right. There's not much that he can do for him, not with the state he's in, except hope that he beats the odds. It could be that he's already lost too much blood, but Daryl will do whatever he can for him now to make sure he survives.

So between him and Beth they settle Merle in the back seat, laying him down with one of the bags behind his head so he's more comfortable, more cloth wadded against his wound to make sure the blood flow stops.

Daryl drives east, avoiding the major highways where he can and taking the smaller back roads. They see no people and only a few walkers, and he keeps his eyes on the road, occasionally glancing in the rear view mirror at Merle where he dozes in the back as Beth keeps turning her head, as if to check that he's still breathing.

Half an hour of driving and they'd stopped by the side of the road so that Daryl could see him up, Merle briefly passing out from the pain before the stitches were done.

They can get through this, they can, Daryl knows they can. Merle survived cutting off his own damn hand, what's a knife wound compared to that? He keeps repeating this to himself as he drives, trying to convince himself of it. As the day wears on though, Merle's breathing becomes more laboured, his skin wet with a sheen of sweat, and Daryl knows that it's not looking good. He's got no medical supplies, no way to transfuse blood, and no idea what might help Merle even if he did have pills or equipment.

He almost doesn't notice when they cross the state line, a simple sign welcoming them to South Carolina. Under other circumstances Daryl would've felt something about it, the first time he'd ever been out of Georgia. All he feels is numb though, the panic he feels for his brother shoved somewhere low and deep in his gut so that he can get them through this day. Beth keeps giving his brother water and trying to offer him food, anything to keep him conscious.

It's late afternoon, and Daryl's been looking for a place to stop for the night when he notices a long driveway leading off the road and takes it, driving up a bumpy track to an old farmhouse. 

"I'm gonna check it out," he announces to Beth, "You'll stay here with him?"

"You need backup?" She asks, and he shakes his head.

"Nah, I got this."

The house is empty of both people and walkers, a coating of dust over the furniture. A quick scoping of the rooms, and Daryl decides on a guest bedroom on the ground floor, returning to the car to help Merle in, Beth draping his other arm over her own shoulder to shift him inside.

Daryl directs her to the room, and between them they get Merle onto the bed, Beth bending to untie his boots as Daryl begins to rip up old sheets with his knife for new bandages, intending to boil them over one of the house's fireplaces.

Merle's breathing is shallow and his eyes keep closing, but he has enough strength to reach out to grab Daryl's hand as he calls out to Beth to find a pot and some water and that he'll get a fire started. 

"Too late for all that now baby brother, don't waste your time." Merle rasps, "Sit your ass down and let me talk to you instead."

"Shut up, Merle," Daryl responds angrily, "It ain't too late, just gotta hold on. We'll rest up here for a few more days till you're stronger then we'll be on our way again."

There's something in Merle's face that makes Beth back her way out the door, leaving them both alone.

"I'm a lot of things, Daryl, but I've never been a fool. I'll be gone by morning, and you better not let me turn."

Daryl might be shaking his head, but he can't ignore the truth any longer and he tries to blink away the tears that come to his eyes. "Why the hell did you have to do it, Merle? Coulda gotten out with us, and we'd have gotten away. Wasn't nobody gonna be able to track us as far as that car and once we were on the road we could've gone anywhere. Why'd you have to stay back?"

"Didn't have nothing left to lose, baby brother, nothing except my life. Figured I'd do that bastard some damage before I left, pay him back for all the shit he had me do."

"Had me to lose," Daryl reminds his brother, not sure whether he should be angry or weeping, now that he knows what has to happen. "Should've thought of that. What am I supposed to do without you, Merle?"

"You don't need me no more, Daryl," Merle tells him, his speech surprisingly clear though his eyes are growing heavier and his breath is more laboured, "Didn't manage to do shit for you before the turn, and not much after either. You got that girl and you learned how to look after yourself, how to look after someone else too. You hear me now, baby brother, you don't need nobody to make it. You don't need me no more."

"You're my brother, Merle, wasn't never about needing you. You're my brother."

Merle nods, and there's a sheen that looks suspiciously like tears in his eyes. "Would've done more for you if I could. You listen to me now, you'd better keep yourself alive, keep the both of you alive. You avoid people unless you're sure of what they are." Merle grabs his wrist and pulls him forward so that Daryl has to look in his eyes. "You've got something good in that girl, and she can keep you going, but you damn well don't let her be the death of you."

It isn't long after that, that Merle's eyes close, as his breathing becomes shallower, his pulse weaker. Daryl sits by his side and holds his hand, something he hasn't done since he was 10 years old.

He watches over Merle, and sometime later, Beth re-enters the room with the prepared bandages, helping Daryl to change them and then taking a chair on the other side of the bed to watch over them both. It doesn't take as long as his brother thought, sometime before dawn his breath finally stops, and Daryl knows that Merle has passed on.

He takes a moment, blinking back tears, before he pulls his knife out of its sheaf, and prepares to do what he has to. One sharp motion and the deed is done, he can ensure that at least Merle never joins the walking dead.

Beth is there in that moment and she gathers him to her, her strong arms around him as he turns his face into her stomach and allows himself to sob. She holds him, never speaking, one hand stroking his hair until he's done.

In the morning they dig a grave.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I'm so very sorry for how long this has taken and I'm going to avoid making promises anymore about when the next one will be ready. I do hope that this chapter will make up for my tardiness though. And a huge huge thank you to everyone who reviewed, it's because of you that I push myself to get these done!

**Chapter 17**

_Now_

It's three days before Rick allows them to rejoin the others at the main block.

He embraces Carl, his arms wound tightly around the boy as if afraid to let him go, long moments holding him as the others wait. When he's done, he gives a quick nod to each of them, as Michonne places a gentle hand on his back as if to steady him. The man looks exhausted, haggard, and Beth can't help but think that he's struggling with something from the expression in his eyes.

"You can all go on in," Rick announces, before turning to Beth slightly, "I know your Dad and Maggie are going to be happy to see you back. Glenn's still on bed rest as are most of those who were infected, it's going to take him some time to get back to full health."

Beth nods and with a glance at Daryl to check that he's going to follow, they head into C Block, intent on seeing her family with their own eyes.

There's been 12 deaths caused by the illness, 13 if you count Patrick who was the first. A further 4 people killed when Patrick turned and they're 17 people down on what their population used to be. They're greeted as they walk in, thanks given for the medicines delivered though it was far too late for some. The prison community is subdued, as if not quite able to believe that the worst is over, and Beth tries to work out who made it and who didn't by the faces they don't see.

Some may still be resting, as she knows Glenn is, and she tries not to think about it until she really knows. Her dad will tell them, or Maggie, they just have to find them first.

They find Maggie in hers and Glenn's cell, watching over her sleeping husband. She gives them a tired but genuine smile when she sees them, putting her finger to her lips to show that they should be quiet before she carefully disengages her hand from his, slipping out of the cell to meet them.

Beth's not surprised when Maggie pulls her into a warm hug, but she is when she does the same for Daryl afterwards. Beth can tell that he's uncomfortable, as he awkwardly brings up a hand to pat Maggie's shoulder, but he endures it until her sister pulls away.

"Thank you, both of you," Maggie tells them, her voice kept to a whisper. "Without that medicine I would've lost him. I don't know what we would've done without you two and Michonne."

Daryl just nods, his gaze downwards as if he doesn't want to look Maggie in the eye. Beth knows that it's still hard for him to hear these things, to accept that he's valued. 

"Who didn't make it?" Beth asks her, needing to know once and for all, and Maggie lists the names, most of them people that Beth has only a slight acquaintance with. Karen is gone though, and Beth remembers her kindness when they first arrived, how she'd helped them to settle in.

"You get back to Glenn now, and get some rest too," Beth tells her sister, "We'll go find Daddy, I want to see how he's doing."

"He'll be doing the rounds," Maggie states, "Probably over in D Block right now checking on the people there. See if you can convince him to take some rest."

Beth nods, and squeezing her sister's hand one more time, they head towards D Block to track her father down.

He looks more tired than she's ever seen him before, older somehow, as if the weights of all those deaths has aged him in a space of days. Beth knows that her father needs rest, but she also knows that nothing is going to stop him doing the rounds of his patients first, especially with Dr S. currently laid up in recovery along with them.

"Daddy," Beth calls out, and he turns, a tired relief in his face.

"Rick told me he was bringing you all back in this morning," her father's voice is a low rumble as if he's too tired to raise it any higher. "It does me a world of good to see you, Bethy. You don't know how I worried for you out there during this time."

"I think we were more worried for all of you," Beth replies in a low voice, stepping forward to embrace her father, briefly resting her head against his shoulder. "We had no idea who had even fallen sick or how much danger you were in."

"Well it's over now, and hopefully we've even seen the last of it or developed some immunity now," Hershel shakes his head, reaching out to squeeze Beth's hand. "But I'm mighty glad to have you back inside with us again now this is all over, Beth. You too, Daryl."

Daryl ducks his head in an acknowledgement, and Beth knows her father has managed to embarrass him.

Hershel nods then and gestures with a hand back towards Cell Block C. "I've still got some patients to check on, why don't you two grab yourselves some food and I'll catch up to you later."

"Sure thing, daddy." Beth agrees, and they leave him there, their footsteps quiet and measured as they head back towards where they came from.

The cafeteria is quiet, but there's a pot of stew on the stove that's not yet too cold, and they both take a bowl before choosing a table, eating in a companionable silence, intent on the first proper meal they've had in days.

It's there that Rick finds them, his face drawn and his eyes shuttered. He takes a seat at their table without asking, making no move to take a bowl for himself, seemingly content to wait until they've both finished until he says whatever he's come to say.

Daryl's mopping up the last of his stew, running his fingers around the bowl, and Beth's just taken her last spoonful, when Rick finally speaks.

"Need to talk to you both. Somewhere private."

Her heart thuds as she wonders what this is about, remembering Rick's original threats to take action if someone should object to them being together. It's been a long time since that day though, and Beth had thought that they'd put it behind them, that as Rick's respect for both of them has grown, he's also seen exactly how things stand, that there's no wrong in things between them being the way they are.

He takes them to the prison library, closing the door behind him before striding forward, placing himself between the table and the wall. Beth perches on the table, waiting for him to speak, as Daryl leans against a nearby stack, just a few steps away.

Rick scrubs a hand up and down his face, and Beth knows he's conflicted, that there's something troubling him. A glance over at Daryl tells her that he's tense, as if waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"There's something we haven't told everyone... about the deaths. See, right at the beginning there were only two people sick, Karen and David. We moved them down to the tombs, put them in isolation to try to keep it from the population. We were checking on them, trying to keep them comfortable while keeping it contained, then Tyreese goes down to see them and... they're gone. Been killed, dragged out and the bodies burned.

There's silence, a beat, and then Daryl's voice. "You know who did it?"

Rick nods, his expression haunted, but it still takes him another few moments to say the words. "It was Carol."

You could hear a pin drop in the silence that follows.

It shocks Beth, to think of Carol doing such a thing. She's never had the chance to get to know the older woman properly, not really, not the way she knows that Daryl did before the farm fell. Beth remembers Carol then though, remembers the grief in her, her shock after Sophia's fate was revealed, and the way that afterwards she had kept herself apart from the others, still not able to trust after all she'd been through.

She doesn't really know Carol, but she still finds it hard to believe this is true.

"Nah, that ain't her. It ain't," Daryl's voice is harsh, as if by denying it he can change the truth. Beth knows it must hit him hard, that even if they're no longer close she was one of the first friends he had amongst the group, one of the first that trusted him. "There's been a mistake."

"She's admitted it," Rick's voice is quiet, and so very, very tired. "It took me awhile to figure out, but once I suspected it was her, I asked, and she told me the truth. She thought she could stop it spreading, save us all, but still... Still." He pauses, shakes his head before continuing. "I haven't told Tyreese the truth, he's on the warpath, wants blood for what was done, and no matter what happened, it's still Carol."

"Then what are you going to do?" Daryl has his hands tucked under his armpits, hunched over as if to protect himself, and Beth knows this has hit him hard. No matter that he keeps himself apart from most people, when he makes bonds he doesn't let go of them easily.

"She can't stay," Rick's voice is steely, no room for negotiation. "I can't have it spilling into a conflict between her and Tyreese, and no matter why she did it, she still did. Can't set that sort of example to the prison."

"You can't just send her away though." Beth's voice is soft, but she hopes she's correct, that Rick has a plan in mind.

"I remember you two talking about a community, some women and their kids in an old B&B? I was thinking that maybe they could use someone like Carol, someone who knows how to survive."

It's not a question, and while it'll be up to the women at the B&B whether they accept her, Beth now knows what hers and Daryl's role in this is.

Rick's not prepared to just leave Carol out in the cold, but he can't let her stay either, so this is the compromise he's found and Daryl and Beth are her way in.

"You convince her," Daryl says, "And we'll take her there."

//

They're not privy to the conversation between Rick and Carol and Beth's grateful for that. She won't pretend that she supports what Carol did, but she does understand why.

That doesn't make a difference though, not really. Had it been one of them, would Carol have done the same thing, ended it faster with no chance of salvation?

Beth hopes she wouldn't have, but in truth she can't know for sure.

Carol's not the same woman that she was back on the farm, nor the woman scared of her own shadow from before that time. Her edges are sharp now, her defences ready. She's survived along with the rest of them, and in a way she's done it alone. She might have had a group in a way that Beth and Daryl did not, but there was no family unit, nobody to share a cell with at the end of the day, just her and her thoughts and loss. Maybe that's changed her along with all the rest of it, or maybe it's been the responsibility to protect the others, Carl and Judith particularly, to step up while Rick has taken his break.

Carol may have made her own choices, but Beth knows they haven't been made lightly.

In the end she doesn't depart alone, two little blonde girls huddled one to either side of her when they pull the car out of the prison gate. Beth knows them by name alone, Lizzie and Mika, knows that they lost their Dad as a result of the carnage after Patrick turned.

Rick must have agreed to their going with Carol, but she wonders how the choice was made. Did the girls themselves choose, or was it a matter of nobody else being willing to step up and take responsibility?

Whatever it is, the choice has been made and the girls are departing with Carol, to a community that will hopefully accept them. Rick's allowed them to take some weapons from the armoury, a present to the women of the B&B, a gift to convince them to take on one of their own.

Beth doesn't know if it's really necessary, but she's glad they'll have the extra protection all the same.

There's no farewell, nobody's been told of Carol's imminent departure in case word gets round to Tyreese as to the reason, and most people are too involved in their own or others recovery to even notice.

Rick pulls the gate open, and with a final nod to Carol, something like a farewell, he lets them go.

Sitting shotgun next to Daryl in the front seat, Beth glances in the rearview mirror. Carol sits ramrod straight, an arm around each of the girls, her gaze fixed on some far off point.

Beth looks away.

//

It takes them a little over two hours to reach the B&B, this time confident enough to directly drive up to the gate rather than approaching by foot. Beth's cautious still, things can change quickly in this world they live in and if there's not a friendly face on the gate they'll need to hightail it out of there quickly.

There's nothing to worry about though, because as soon as Daryl's stopped the car a short distance from the gate and stepped out, there's Stacy's voice hailing him from the makeshift watch tower they've made.

"Daryl!" She calls out, "Didn't expect to see you again so soon. You were in the neighbourhood?"

"Somethin' like that," Daryl shrugs, glances back at the car then up at Stacy again. "You mind if we bring the car in? Need to have a talk to y'all, discuss something."

"Sure thing," she calls out before descending to open the gates, waving them through and up the slope. 

They're brought inside quickly, it's late afternoon now and the nights are getting chilly. Soon enough Deborah is handing cups of mint tea to all of them, and fussing over the girls like a long lost grandmother. Mika responds well to the attention, a shy smile as she looks up at the older woman, but Beth notices that Lizzie is slower to warm to the new people here.

Daryl repeats their request to discuss something with the group, and Tom is dispatched to relieve Stacy from watch so that she can be a part of the conversation. It's at this point that Carol gives Daryl a significant look and stands up to herd the two girls out the door and into the garden with Jack, asking the little boy if he'll show them around.

"What's this all about then?" Cindy asks them, as the others also grow quiet, looking on in curiosity. 

"We, uh, we've come to ask for a favour actually," Beth begins hesitantly, "To ask if you would take the woman and children we've brought with us into your community."

The women exchange glances, before turning back to Daryl and Beth, Anna speaking this time. "We have the space and the resources certainly, in fact we've been discussing recently about how having more people could help us. We need to know why they're not remaining with you though?"

"We'll be honest with you," Beth continues, as Daryl sits silently by her side, worrying at his thumb between his teeth. "Because you need to make this decision only after you know everything, and we're not expecting you to take it lightly. Carol... Daryl has known her almost since the beginning of this, and I met her shortly afterwards. She's strong, she's a survivor and she'll be an asset to you here. Mika and Lizzie are under her care after their father died. Carol... She can't stay with us any longer because our leader has exiled her, after she killed two people to try to protect the rest of the prison."

It all pours out then, the whole story, or as much as Beth knows of it. The women are silent as they listen, not interrupting her or asking questions and when she's done they ask for some time to discuss it amongst themselves.

They wander outside, over to where Carol sits on an old wooden bench, watching as Jack show the girls around the garden.

"A place like this... What I wouldn't have given for Ed to take me somewhere like this in the old days." She chuckles then, low and sad, as if laughing at herself. "And now I get to spend the rest of my life here, if they'll have me."

"It's a good place," Daryl says slowly, hesitantly, "They're good people here, ain't gonna turn you away."

"Not even after what I've done?" Carol quirks a brow at that, "Rick seemed to think it was a capital offence, even if I did it to protect everyone. If there'd been another way... I had to try. You see that, right?"

Her tone is confident but there's something in her eyes that lets Beth know that the answer is important to her. Carol's just lost the closest thing she had to a family, lost everything she worked so hard towards, and she needs something like reassurance now, that she's not truly left behind all that she was.

Daryl is silent, struggling for words, and it's Beth that finally speaks, taking a seat beside Carol on the bench. "I don't agree with it, but I do understand why you did it. I know you were just trying to protect everyone, and the women here, they understand about making choices like that better than just about anybody."

Beth doesn't know if she's said the right thing or not, but Carol nods, and she reaches across to briefly lay her hand over Beth's as they sit there, watching the children play.

//

The women speak to Carol before they make their decision, in the end voting to allow her to stay. Beth's right, they understand better than most people would about making difficult decisions for the sake of survival.

There's relief in Carol's expression as they communicate the decision, and she nods simply, a tight smile as she looks at the two girls who have accompanied her. "You won't regret it. I'll ensure that we all do our bit here, whatever needs to be done."

"I'm certain you'll be an asset here," Cindy tells her, "For one thing I think all of us could do with some more hand to hand combat training if you're willing to help us out, Beth and Daryl say you've got some experience in that. We don't get many of the flesh eaters up here but we want to be prepared, either for them or for any men who may find us."

"We'll get your stuff out of the car, then make our way back." Daryl announces, standing to make a start on it.

"Why don't you stay here with us tonight?" Deborah invites them. "It's almost dark, better not to be driving after sundown. You can head off tomorrow morning."

They share a glance, and at Beth's slight nod, Daryl agrees, before heading outside to begin unloading the car.

It's a short process, as Carol and the girls help too, boxes placed in the lobby area and Rick's gifts of guns and ammo presented to the community. 

"Well that's certainly something," Deborah comments with a whistle, "We'll have to see what we can send you back with as a thank you for those."

They sit together in the main dining area for dinner, conversation purposefully kept to other points than what has brought them all here - what crops both communities are growing, the difficulty of finding canned goods to scavenge anymore, making candles from scratch, and the school they've set up at the prison. It's easy to think that in another lifetime they might be friends catching up after some time apart, just sitting down to share the news.

This is normal now, this is how the world works - candlelit dinners in low voices so that the dead don't hear you, and discussions on how to preserve harvests for longer.

It's not so different to how their forefathers must have once lived, modern weaponry one of the only signs left that the world had advanced at all.

It's been a long day, between the revelations of the morning, packing things up at the prison and the journey out, and Carol asks for herself and the girls to be excused so that she can put them to bed.

"We'll make an early start," Daryl tells the women, "Head off to sleep now."

"You two still want a room with twin beds?" Anna asks, her mouth quirking as if she already knows the answer.

If it wasn't so dark, Beth thinks they might all be able to see Daryl turn bright red, as it is she takes pity on him to answer. "A double will do if you've got one to spare."

They do, and it's not long before they find themselves in their room for the night, freshly washed up though in the same clothes they've been wearing since morning, comfortable and well fed.

It's a world of difference from the first time they came here. The community has become something else entirely, helped in a way by their own actions.

They themselves have becomes something else entirely since then.

They'd known so little about each other when they were first brought to this place, only just beginning to build the bonds of trust between them. They still are those people, the Daryl and Beth of that time, but they've also changed, become more, become something together.

Become something that Beth now can't live without.

Daryl's sitting on the edge of the bed, his boots removed for sleep, his hand to his mouth as he worries at a hangnail on his thumb.

"Well it worked out as well as we hoped it would," Beth comments, even as she allows herself to look around the room in the dim light of their only candle. "They'll have a home here, and I think that maybe... maybe it could be good for all of them."

"Yeah, yeah maybe," Daryl responds shortly, and Beth notices that he's still working on that nail, his eyes turned anywhere but to her.

It takes her a moment to realise what the problem is, and where his thought trail has taken him. Here they are, alone and with no chance of anybody interrupting them, no need to hold themselves back for once. A comfortable bed to themselves and nowhere that they have to be, nowhere except right here.

Daryl would never suggest it of course, she suspects it's why he's currently trying to avoid her eyes, that she shouldn't feel as if he expects anything.

Beth doesn't know what it is Daryl expects or wants, but she does know what it is that she wants, wants with an almost physical ache, a pull she can't shake.

She knows what she wants and there's no reason to hold herself back from it.

It takes some courage, a moment to collect herself before she does so, but she manages to unbuckle her belt, unzip her jeans and allow them to pool around her feet before she steps out of them, one step closer to Daryl.

They've seen each other in various states of undress before, but never like this, never this deliberate show, a prelude to something else. He stares at her, his gaze transfixed upon her long, pale legs, hand finally dropped from its place at his mouth, now slack upon his knee.

Beth takes another step forward, her knees now nudging against his, conscious of her old, grey underwear, the light layer of hair on her legs, old scars upon her knees. She has to hold herself still to stop herself from shaking.

She nudges him with her knees, pushing his legs apart and stepping between them as he allows her to, unresisting, his eyes now upon her face as if searching for an answer. Beth doesn't know what it is that he sees there, but his gaze drops again, directed to her legs once more, and he raises a hand almost hesitantly, pausing for a moment before he touches the outside of her bare thigh, lightly at first, before he lays his hand against it fully, releasing a long shuddering sigh.

"Daryl," she whispers, and it's just his name, but they've spent so long together that it's enough to tell him what it is that she wants, and he raises his other hand to grip her hip, pulling her closer towards him. His fingers are light as he lifts her shirt, just enough to be able to lay his face against the smooth skin of her belly, his mouth a hair's breadth above the waistband of her underwear as he places a lingering kiss there.

Beth shudders, and it takes a moment for her to realise that Daryl is shaking slightly, his fingers upon her trembling. He looks up at her, and at that moment his need for her is written so starkly on his face that it takes Beth's breath away.

He won't ask though, he's always relied on her to break the boundaries between them.

So she shifts herself, lifts one leg and then the other, until she's straddling him, her legs wrapped around him, knees to either side of his hips, his hands now gripping her sides with bruising intensity.

Beth takes a moment, lifts her hands to cup his face, allows herself to stroke his cheek as he looks at her, gaze flickering across her face with tenderness, but also Beth realises with a small amount of fear.

It takes a moment for her to conquer her own anxiety, to calm her nerves, before she removes her hands from his face, using them to lift her shirt over her head and discard it before she reaches behind her to unclasp her bra, allowing it to fall and join her other clothes on the floor.

Daryl's eyes have drifted to her chest, but he looks back to her face then, his grip on her tightening as he pulls her closer, her legs locking around his back now.

"Beth, you uh... you're..." He swallows thickly, unable to get the words out, but that's okay, she knows what he wants to say.

"You can, Daryl. We can so this, I want this."

It's enough to finally stir him to action and he leans forward, one hand shifting to the back of her head as his lips meet hers, hard and demanding as his other hand presses her even closer if possible. She can feel him where their hips meet, how hard he is for her, can feel herself growing wet in response, an ache building inside her. 

Beth brings her hand down to palm him through his pants and Daryl breaks away from her, gasping her name, before dropping his head to her shoulder, breathing hard. 

"Can't do that to me, girl, or I won't last a damn second," he mutters, and she bites back a giggle, tilting her head to place a slow, open mouthed kiss on his neck that makes him shudder even as his large hands finally find her breasts, cupping them gently before he begins to move them, his thumbs coming up to stroke her nipples, circling them first before rubbing them slowly, the friction hardening them. He glances at her then, as if to check that he's doing the right thing, and Beth gives a short, sharp nod, unable to say anything else when he's making her feel the way he does.

She's never known anything like this, never had more than an awkward fumbling with Jimmy in the barn, his hands under her bra, each of their fingers slipping into the other's pants, and nothing particularly memorable coming of it in the end. 

Daryl's movements are slow and deliberate, his fingers skimming lightly before increasing pressure, as he takes one nipple between thumb and forefinger, rolling it slowly, and Beth arches her back, squeezing her thighs together as the pleasure rolls through her.

She's in the process of trying to unbutton his shirt when he picks her up, one hand under her buttocks to spin her around and deposit her on the bed, looming over her. Beth barely has a moment to react before his mouth is upon her, closing upon her right breast, slow, torturous licks as his tongue finds her nipple leaving her gasping for breath, her hand gripping his sides, needing something to hold onto. 

"You.. It's okay? You're good?" Daryl asks her, and there's such a need for reassurance in his face that it almost breaks her apart, as she nods wordlessly. "You'll tell me if I'm not doing anything right? Tell me what you want?"

Beth nods again, before she opens her mouth to speak. "I want you to take your shirt off."

He does so quickly, pulling it over her head before he returns his attention to her, his mouth upon her left breast this time as he uses his hand to massage the other.

Beth tries to touch him, her hand going to the front of his pants, but Daryl pulls it away with a shake of his head, "I told you, girl, I ain't gonna last if you do that."

She just nods, allows him to remove her hand and grips his sides instead, before she takes one of his hands, guiding it to the edge of her panties. "You can... you can take them off."

He doesn't need telling twice, and they're off her in the blink of an eye, Daryl's gaze fixed between her legs as he strokes the curls there, his touch almost hesitant as his fingers drift lower, tracing the outline of the lips, ghosting over her clit.

"I haven't, uh, I haven't really ever... you'll tell me?" He's so earnest in his desire to please her, and so she does tell him, moves his thumb so that it can rub her clit, tells him how she wants to be stroked as her wetness begins to coat his fingers, seeping out of her to soak his hand. Daryl groans when he finally inserts a finger inside her, her walls clinging to him, and she gasps when he inserts a second, her finger nails digging into his shoulders, her thighs clenching, as he moves them slowly out and then in again, ever so slowly.

"Relax, Beth, I've got you," he rasps, his voice low and reassuring, "I've got you."

And so she does, allowing herself to just feel as his fingers move within her, slowly at first, almost experimentally, watching her closely to see what makes her gasp or arch her back, before he begins to increase the speed, keeping up a steady pace as he continues to rub her clit, focusing upon her with a singleminded intent, determined to push her over the edge.

Beth teeters, gasps, her nails creating scratches across his back as she finds her release, the pleasure spasming through her as he slows the pace of his fingers within her, finally removing them after a few last, languid strokes.

She shouldn't be surprised when she sees him raise his fingers to his mouth, tasting her juices upon them before he wipes his hand almost lazily on his pants. 

He runs his fingers down her side then, as she lies in an almost haze brought about by the aftermath of her orgasm. Trails his fingertips up and down the curve of her hip then up to her shoulders, barely ghosting over the swell of her breasts then back again.

"Been wanting to taste you for the longest time," Daryl admits, the words coming out of him quietly as he looks her up and down, taking his fill as she regains her breath, "Thought about it sometimes, about what I could do, about you, here, like this."

"Daryl..." Beth murmurs, and pulls him in for a kiss, opening her mouth to him easily as he kisses her without any hurry, taking his time to explore now, his hands continuing to caress her as he does so.

Beth is not prepare to be so patient though, and it's not long before she brings her hands to his belt buckle, unfastening his pants before Daryl kicks them off hurriedly, his ragged underwear joining them soon after.

She knows that he's worried about how long he'll last if she touches him, but she can't help the hand that she extends to grasp him, the smooth length of him straining against her hand, as Daryl releases an almost guttural grown at her touch.

"God, Beth, just..." He can't finish the thought as she moves her hand, slowly up and then down over his length, feeling the thickness for herself, how hard he is against her palm.

Daryl drops his head to her shoulder, panting, stopping her with one hand as he tries to collect himself.

"You, uh, you ever done this before?" He asks her, his earlier uncertainty gone, as he looks at her with such tenderness that Beth knows all he's thinking of is how he can make this best for her.

She shakes her head, wordless for once, and grasps his hand in hers, tangling their fingers. "You?"

"A few times," Daryl admits, "Never really wanted to though, before now. Was just something that I felt like I should do, but it was never... Not like this, not with you."

"And you want me?" Beth confirms, wanting to hear it even if she can see the evidence of it with her own two eyes, in everything that he's done over the months they've spent together.

"Christ, girl, you gotta ask, I ain't made it clear enough? Never wanted nothing in life the way I've wanted you."

Beth pulls him to her then, lying back as she pulls his body on top of hers, his arms braced to the side of her as he kisses her, eager lips capturing hers even as she can feel his hard length against her, the tip nudging at her folds as she spreads her legs to grant him access, groaning into his mouth as she feels him against her entrance, wanting nothing more than to pull him into her.

Daryl swears suddenly, breaking away from her to search through his pants pocket, coming back with a condom wrapper that he breaks quickly before rolling it down his length.

Beth pulls him back down to her, hooks her legs behind his back as he positions himself to enter her, sweat beading his forehead as he uses one hand to grip her hip, as he pushes himself slowly inside.

Despite how wet she is, it's uncomfortable at first. Beth can feel how large he is within her, her walls gripping him tightly as he pushes himself in to the hilt, his breathing hard and fast. It's not until he begins to move, slowly and carefully, a hand now gripping her buttocks to help him find the right angle, that Beth begins to forget the discomfort, focusing instead on the sparks of pleasure she receives, all the more raw in the aftermath of her earlier orgasm.

He keeps his strokes shallow and slow at first, as if to allow her to adjust, or maybe to pace himself, his face buried into the crook of her neck as he moves inside her.

Beth tangles one hand in his hair, dragging his face up again to hers, curving her tongue against his when he opens his mouth and feeling him shudder against her at the pressure of her teeth against his lip. 

"Beth," he groans her name raggedly, and she knows that he's restraining himself, trying not to hurt her. He doesn't need to worry though, her first time or not, she's not going to break.

So the next time he pulls back from her, she grips his buttocks hard, pulling him back towards her at greater speed, moaning when she feels him hit the wall inside her, biting her lip to stop from crying out at the pleasure.

Daryl's never been slow to understand, and he gets the message, picking up the pace until he's slamming into her, his body held tightly as if to restrain himself as he pumps into her, trying so hard to last for her sake. 

When she comes this time, Beth can't help crying out, the sound quickly stopped by Daryl's mouth on hers, his hips slamming into hers once, twice more, before he shudders, collapsing upon her, a guttural groan leaving his lips as she can feel him pulsing within her, his breathing coming ragged as he gathers her close.

Beth could speak of love at this moment, the words almost on her lips, but she doesn't, knows it isn't the time to do so. She does love him though, god how she loves him, though it seems entirely too small a word to use for what they've built between them.

 _"Beth,"_ he breathes her name, _"Beth,"_ he doesn't use endearments or words of love, but the way he kisses her then, as if binding himself to her, Beth doesn't need him to.

He lays his head on her breast, arms going around her as Beth combs her fingers through his sweaty hair, placing a kiss on top of his head.

She knows what she is to him, has known for the longest time. Whether he ever speaks the words or not, Daryl Dixon will love her until the day she dies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, there we go. Considering I have an incredibly tough time writing smut, let me know how I did?


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

_Then_

They don't stay long in the farmhouse, after that.

Beth says she thinks they need a day to regroup, and Daryl knows that what she really means by it is that he needs a day to grieve.

She ain't wrong though, and he isn't going to fight her on it, so instead they set about scavenging what they can while they're there, and trying to come up with a plan of action.

They'd never had a plan to begin with, not beyond getting out of there, and now they're in unfamiliar territory, across state lines and with no clear direction to go.

They could stay here.

They could.

It's isolated, haven't seen so much as a single walker since they arrived here. There's the fields, and with a little bit of work maybe they could get those replanted, some trees that should bear fruit come summer.

There's also Merle's grave out the back, a pile of stones to mark it. 

Isolated might be fine when it's spring or summer and you've got game to hunt and stuff to forage, but there ain't shit around here in terms of food supplies. Farmer Joe unfortunately didn't seem to have ever gotten round to putting things aside for the winter.

So they'll move on as they have every time before now, looking for something more, something better.

The real question is to where.

Might be better to stay out of Georgia for a time. The Governor will be looking for them, and it would be better to be far away until the heat dies down. That doesn't mean it has to be forever though, doesn't mean they've given up on finding the others.

Daryl just needs to make sure Beth understand that.

She's been careful with him since Merle's death, giving him his space to grieve but still there, right there if he should want to talk or just want some company. He does talk to her sometimes, finds himself wanting to break the silence, telling her stories about all the dumb shit he and Merle did when they were younger.

He'd thought it would be harder, moving on. It's not though, with her there. He still grieves, still wishes like hell that things had been different and Merle would be with them now, but that ain't the way things are and there's no point dwelling overly long on it.

Beth's here, and he needs to pull himself together for her. Needs to keep himself strong for the both of them, so he does. Daryl gives himself three days to grieve, to put the pieces of himself back together as best he can, and then he prepares himself to move on.

They're sitting at the kitchen table, sharing a can of spagetthi-o's when Daryl clears his throat.

"Need to think about moving on. Food's almost out here, and the traps are comin' up empty. Gotta find ourselves somewhere to hole up for the winter, get some supplies organised."

Beth nods, looking down at the spoon she holds in her hand. "You reckon we, uh, we stick around somewhere close to here?"

He knows the words are hard for her to say, that for her it means giving up on finding her family for the time being. Daryl had thought maybe he'd have to talk her into it, he should've known all along that Beth would understand. This ain't about the short term anymore, they've been on their own for too long now, with no trace of the people they've been looking for. Maybe they'll find them one day, but they can't let themselves hold on for that, could be they've also moved on somewhere, could be that they're dead.

"Place like this, it's too hard to heat. Gotta light a fire and smoke's gonna be seen. Too far from anything too, if we need supplies or get into a fix, long way to anywhere else. I reckon we gotta look for a town, somewhere there's still supplies to scavenge. Then come spring..."

"Come spring, we start looking for the others again," Beth adds, but it's said quietly, as if she might not truly believe it either. Where do you start looking when you ain't got no leads? It's going to take nothing short of a miracle to reunite them with her family after all this time, and he wonders where he'll fit in if they do manage it.

Beth finds her dad and Maggie and that's that, she's got her family back again. Does he go back to being the outcast redneck, the loner on the edge of the group? Can he pretend that everything they've been through never happened, that it doesn't matter?

Maybe he can, he will if he has to.

Daryl has a feeling though, that Beth won't let him.

//

They start to head towards the coast.

It's as good a plan as any. They've got no real destination in mind, nowhere they need to be. A few months back he would've said that the best plan would be to find a group, but after the two experiences they've had of that he's no longer sure it's such a good idea.

"You ever been to the beach before?" Beth asks him, and he glances at her sideways as he drives, taking in the way she's huddled into her jacket, hands between her knees as if to warm her. They haven't turned on the heat in he car, it'll use up too much gas and there's no telling when they're likely to find more.

"Once. Merle managed to hook up a deal in St Simon's, dealing to a bunch of dumb college kids there for a party at someone's daddy's summer home. Took me along for backup."

His eyes are back on the road, but Beth doesn't stop there, probing him for more in that way she tends to. "Did you like it?"

Daryl shrugs, glances across at her briefly to meet her eyes before he continues. "Ocean was somethin' else. Woulda liked to stick around, but the deal was done and there was no way we'd've been welcome there, bunch of redneck trash."

"I always loved the beach," Beth admits, drawing her knees up onto the seat now for extra warmth. "We'd go for family holidays sometimes when I was younger, not often cause Daddy couldn't take much time off, but sometimes for a weekend. I'd run squealing into the ocean, not want to come out till my skin was red as a lobster."

He cracks a slight smile at that, imagines her as a girl, freckles on her nose, skin peeling from sunburn and still grinning at the joy of it all.

"Never been in winter before," Beth comments, "Don't imagine I'll be dipping my feet in the water now."

"Yeah well, see if we get that far. We find a place, then we stop. Just gotta keep looking for somewhere safe."

They look and they look, but there's nowhere that seems to fit what they're searching for. They stop every now and then to siphon petrol or scavenge for food, but there's little of any value on the road and as the miles go by, Daryl begins to worry.

It could be that he's made the wrong decision not to stay in Woodbury for the winter, that he should've just done whatever was asked of him, should've told Beth that no matter what she might think, he was the type of man that could do the dirty work, and he would.

Maybe Merle would still be alive now if he had.

It would've killed a part of him, and maybe it even would've killed the bond that's grown between him and Beth, but at least Merle would be alive. At least Beth would be safe and warm, with enough food to keep her healthy.

Daryl made his decision back then though, and now he has to live with the consequences.

They'd taken a sleeping bag from the old farmhouse, the only one available there, and the first night they stop in an old hunting shack, he unzips it so that it spreads to double width and spreads it over both of them as they lie on the hard wooden floor. It brings some warmth, but he doesn't question it when Beth curls into him, her feet tucked between his, her slight arms reaching out for him without hesitation. There's only a moment of doubt before Daryl allows himself to gather her closer, slipping his arm behind her neck to provide a pillow and holding her to him. She buries her nose into the fabric of his shirt, as if trying to warm it, and there's something within Daryl that aches so powerfully at that moment, to give her whatever she might need.

"Sleep," he tells her, "I'll keep first watch," and he listens while her breathing slows, feels it as her muscles relax, her hands not grasping him quite as tightly anymore.

The days pass in much the same way, as they stop wherever it seems likely enough to siphon gas or look for food. They're staying only one step ahead of hunger on any given day, never quite sure where their next meal is coming from. Every day as evening approaches, Daryl takes stock of their supplies, calculating how much they have and how much they can eat to ensure they go to sleep without hunger gnawing at them. Every evening he begins to look for a place to stop for the night, one they can fortify, that will give them enough of a vantage point for advance warning if anyone is approaching.

Sometimes they stop in farm houses, and sometimes in towns, always wary of other travellers or of settlements that they might need to deal with. Twice, Daryl has heard vehicles in the distance, and once, voices carrying across an empty field. He had pulled Beth down low immediately, unwilling to risk the chance that the strangers could be friendly when it could go either way.

He doesn't know what he should hope for anymore, that they find people or that they don't. Seems like their group was about the last of the good people left, that there's a shortage elsewhere. He can't risk her, can't even think about what he'd do if something were to happen to her. 

So they go on, always searching and never quite finding what they're looking for.

As the days grow shorter it becomes more difficult; more difficult to find shelter, more difficult to find food, more difficult to stay warm. The one bright point remaining, the one that he focuses on all day through, is the moment that they'll finally stop to rest for the night, Beth tucked safely within his arms under their sleeping bag, her hair under his chin, one hand placed on his chest as her breaths slow and deepen into sleep. It ain't sexual, ain't about wanting her, no matter what the truth of that is. Just feels right, having her there with him, feels like it's something that's theirs and theirs alone. Daryl's never had that before, never had anybody or anything that made him feel like this, like he belongs. 

Whether she wants him or not he belongs to her and that's the truth.

//

They're out scavenging when it happens.

Car's parked a few streets over, concealed as best as possible in case somebody should come upon it. They've been checking out stores in a row of shops, and for once it's been a good day, tins of fancy goods in an organic shop and packets of what Beth tells him is some Japanese soup, just needing water added to it. Daryl doesn't know about that, but he knows they could both use the warmth soup will bring on the cold nights. 

The place is barely touched, everyone concentrating on the supermarket a few doors up, and it's a proper haul. Granola bars and cereal and packets of grains they can cook up into something. They find a base somewhere around here and they can make proper use of it, see if there's other stores with supplies. There's a chemist down the way that Daryl wants to check out, can't hurt to have some first aid supplies on hand, maybe some pills if they need them. 

They've exited the health food shop and are on their way to the chemist when Daryl sees them, a group of about twenty walkers between them and their car, ambling in their direction.

They've only got a few moments before the geezers spot them, and Daryl grabs Beth's hand, dragging her behind a cluster of bushes to hide.

They crouch at first, but the progress of the dead is torturously slow, and giving up on keeping his balance, Daryl kneels on the cold ground, noticing that Beth does the same. The damp seeps in through his pants and he stops himself from cursing, concentrating on staying still and quiet so they're not spotted. Beside him, he can see Beth trying her best to do the same, hunched over as she kneels, an eye in the opposite direction to him in case any should approach them from behind.

They must kneel there a good 45 minutes out in the open before they judge it safe to move, and at that point with a gesture on his part and a nod of the head on hers, they agree to make straight for the car. Beth's shivering by the time they arrive, a bluish tinge to her lips, and for once Daryl cranks up the heat to full, only intending to drive them till they can find a place to crash for the night.

Several streets and he finally picks a house, a high wall with a gate to keep out the walkers, two stories to get a good vantage point from the upper windows. He drives the car into a driveway three houses down, the better to hide where they're staying if someone might happen by, then they grab the bags and head into the house's compound, Daryl determined to complete the sweep before night falls completely.

There's nobody there, not living or dead, and the moment the house is secure, he turns to Beth, taking in her chattering teeth and pale skin. "You go get yourself changed into something dry and I'll see about getting us some food heated."

She's back quickly and urging him to change out of his own wet clothes, even as their canned dinner heats on the small fire he's got going in the living room's fireplace. Two minutes and Daryl's exchanged his damp pants and shirt for dry ones, back in the living room where he sees Beth pour the contents of the cans into two separate bowls she's scavenged from the kitchen.

Usually they'd be rationing, one can shared between them both, but a day like this deserves a bit of extra food and with the haul they managed to find they've got enough for some days yet.

Their food eaten quickly, Daryl notices how tired Beth seems to be, the energy sapped out of her as she lays down on one of the couches. She's asleep in two minutes, and he places the sleeping bag over her, touches a hand to her forehead and notes that she's warm. He frowns, but there's nothing he can do for the moment, and all he can hope for is that she ends up sleeping it off.

There's no such luck though.

He moves to wake her for her watch halfway through the night only to find her burning to the touch, her body wracked by shivers and her clothes soaked by sweat.

"Beth," he calls out to her, pulling the sleeping bag off her and tapping her cheek, trying to get her to wake. She mumbles and then collapses against his shoulder as Daryl looks around, spotting their water bottles. He forces her to drink some, holding the bottle to her lips, then soaks the rag he carries with him, laying it on her forehead to try and cool it as she bats at it for a moment, trying to dislodge it. 

As Beth slips back into a restless sleep, Daryl begins to search the house, looking for anything even remotely useful in helping her fight whatever this is. The bathroom cupboards are bare of medicine, but he finds some strips of Tylenol and some soluble aspirin in the drawer of a bedside table. There's nothing else to help though, no antibiotics should she need them, and he finds himself thinking of that chemist they almost raided today, wishing that maybe they'd done it before the health food store.

The night passes slowly, torturous hours spent watching her, placing fresh damp clothes on her head and waking her to make her gulp down some of the soluble aspirin in a glass of water. 

Dawn breaks and she's no better, only semi conscious at best and mumbling incoherently. Daryl makes her drink another glass of soluble aspirin and considers his options, chewing on his thumb nail as he looks down at her, her hair plastered to her forehead with sweat, her clothes damp through with it. 

There's a chance that this could pass, that all they need to do is wait it out and she'll come through it. Beth has starting coughing though, a deep, hacking cough, and Daryl can't take the risk that her body is strong enough to fight this off. They've been rationing their food for far too long, only one meal away from starvation, taking turns at watch so that neither has had a full night's sleep since they left Woodbury. Her immune system must be gone to shit right now, and he needs to get her medicine to fight this before it develops in pneumonia.

He can't lose her, if he does...

Daryl blinks, shakes his head to rid himself of the thought. He'll get her what she needs if he has to search every damn house in this town and every store besides. He hates to leave her, but the sooner he does, the sooner she can start recovering.

He crouches down and slips one arm under her shoulders, one under her legs, and lifts her easily. She's light, far too light, and it hits home just how little she's been eating lately. He carries her up the stairs and lowers her gently onto the bed. Daryl leaves her there for a moment to rifle through the drawers, coming up with a loose pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt that will be far too large for her. They don't have a choice though, and he needs to get her out of her sweat soaked clothes if he doesn't want her getting worse than she already is.

So Daryl carefully pulls down the pants she's wearing, trying to avert his eyes as he does so. Her legs are pale and far too thin, the skin clammy when his hand brushes it. He struggles with her top, needing to manoeuvre her arms out of it before he pull it over her head, trying not to look, but noting the rise and all of her chest as she breathes in and out.

The t-shirt finally on, he pulls back the covers and tucks her into bed, the blankets pulled up over her, and a pillow under her head. Filling a glass of water he places it on the bedside table and turns to go, doubt warring in him.

What if someone were to find her while he's gone? What if she needs him and he's not there? There's a thousand fears to deal with, but he knows she's counting on him, and the sooner he goes, the sooner he'll be back.

//

He's not sure when the last time he drove this fast was.

Less than ten minutes to the row of shops they'd been at yesterday, and he wastes no time parking directly in front of the chemist, pulling the door open where it already sits half broken off its hinges.

Most of the stuff on the shelves is gone, but when Daryl jumps the counter he's relieved to see that the prescription section is largely intact. Middle of the apocalypse and nobody's got the time to sort through drawers, likely can't remember the names of what they'd want neither. Daryl remembers though, he'd had to pick up antibiotics enough times for Merle when he had the clap, he remembers the names.

So he sorts through drawers, picking up the pills that he remembers and grabbing some heavy duty painkillers along with it. Back in the main section and he's relieved to see there's two bottles of cough syrup left, so he pockets them, taking a quick look for anything else that might be of use before he abandons the effort.

They can come back together, but Daryl's not leaving her alone for a moment longer than he needs to right now.

//

He makes it back to the house in record time, parking the car haphazardly by the side of the road before he runs inside.

He bounds up the stairs, turning the handle of the bedroom door, and lets out a long exhale, she's as she was, just as he left her.

His heart beat begins to slow at last, and Daryl approaches her, shucking off his crossbow onto the floor, the bottle of pills in his hand. He takes a seat on the side of the bed, and brings a hand to her forehead, pushing her hair back. Beth opens her eyes, her gaze unfocused and murmurs his name.

"C'mon, Beth, need you to take some medicine now, have you feeling better in no time," he encourages her, and at her nod, Daryl moves to support her, pulling her up so that her torso rests against him, one arm around her shoulders as the other places the pill in her mouth and then helps her to wash it down with a glass of water.

"Stay with me," her voice is weak, but he manages to hear her, and Daryl nods, lowering her gently back down to the pillows and pulling off his boots before he climbs into bed with her. Beth turns towards him, hands clutching at his shirt, and he pulls her closer, pillowing her head on one of his arms as he wraps the other around her. He listens as her breathing slows, falling back into a more easy sleep. 

She'll get through this, come out the other side of whatever the hell this is, he'll do whatever he needs to in order to ensure it.

//

For the rest of the day they follow the same pattern, briefly waking her twice to make her take her medicine, before she falls again into a fitful sleep, clutching him as if afraid he might leave. Daryl's not sure but he thinks her fever might be lessening, her skin not burning quite as hot under his hand as it had in the morning.

It's full dark when he's startled from a light doze by the sound of a crash downstairs and he's instantly alert, disentangling himself from Beth and grabbing his crossbow, not bothering to put on his boots before he makes his way out of the room, knowing it'll help him to move more quietly.

There's two of them downstairs, both men by their shapes, and he waits, tries to work out whether they're a threat, whether he can just warn them off or if he has to kill them.

"There's a sleeping bag here," the first man whispers to the other, "Seems like someone's been camped out."

"Food on the bench too, see here? They're either still here or they're coming back."

"What do you reckon, should we risk it?"

"I've got the gun in case they're armed, reckon they must be upstairs sleeping. We sneak up on them, won't even have a fight."

"Think there might be a girl? Been so damn long since we've had a girl."

Daryl doesn't need to hear anything else, hidden in the shadows on the top step, he waits until they approach the staircase before he pulls the trigger, shooting the man who claimed to have the gun between the eyes. The second man lets out a yell as he sees his friend drop, fumbling for a weapon even as Daryl rushes down the stairs, his knife at the ready. The man doesn't even have time to pull his own weapon before Daryl's is lodged in his throat, blood spurting as the man gurgles his dying breaths.

Daryl stands over them long after he's driven his knife through both of their foreheads, staring down at their bodies.

He'd killed Dale, but that had been a mercy, a way to put his friend out of his misery. These men he'd killed to protect himself and Beth, killed almost without a second thought.

Maybe he'd been wrong when he told Merle he wasn't the type of man who could kill, maybe it's been in him all along. These men, Daryl knows they were sick sons of bitches, knows they'd done their share of killing and hurting before he put them down. It was a choice between them or him and Beth, and he knows he made the right one.

He retrieves the gun from the first body along with his bolt, then walks back up to the bedroom and pulls the door open so he can hear Beth breathe. Daryl sits down on the top step, vigilant incase the men weren't alone, in case there are others coming after them, and he tries to steady his breath, tries not to think about what might have happened if they'd come across the house while Beth was alone while he was out getting her medicines.

There ain't no good people anymore, nobody they can trust except themselves.

He sits there until the sun rises, lightening the room and revealing the features of their faces, just two ordinary looking men, the second seeming to be not long out of boyhood. Daryl doesn't linger on them, doesn't stop to think about what made them into what they were. He drags the body out to the back yard, notices the unlocked tool shed and shoves them both in there. They don't deserve a burial, and he sure as hell ain't gonna give them one.

The task done, he cleans himself up, hands and face washed, before he goes back to Beth in the bedroom, waking her once more for her next dose of medicine.

"Did you go somewhere?" She asks him, voice slurred with the effort of speaking.

"Nah, I didn't go anywhere at all."

//

Beth recovers slowly.

Daryl worries about waiting in the house, seeing as how two people already found it, but he can't risk moving her and seeing the flu or whatever the hell it is worsen.

So he sets warning alarms out of the furniture and ensures the gun and his crossbow are always on him, spends his nights out on the landing at the top of the stairs, only ever dozing lightly in case there should be any cause to wake.

He stays vigilant in the daytime too, listening for any voices as he prepares soup for Beth, thankful for those packets they found when it's the only thing she can stomach.

She recovers slowly, but she's recovering, and six days after she fell sick she finally feels well enough to step downstairs, wanting to see anything other than the bedroom walls.

Daryl picks her up, carrying her, and she's laughing, telling him that he doesn't need to when she stops abruptly, eyes drifting to a spot on the carpet. He lets his gaze follow hers and sees the blood stains that he saw no reason to try and clean, not when they'll be moving on soon.

"What happened?" Beth asks, her voice soft, her arms still around his neck. She hasn't moved away from him, but Daryl feels the need for some distance when he tells her anyway, walking to the couch where he sets her down gently before he steps back.

"Was the second night we were here, two men came. I heard 'em come in, listened to what they were saying. They'd have killed us if they could've, woulda done worse to you first."

He's not looking at her, eyes fixed to that dark spot on the carpet, when he feels Beth's fingers entangle with his, the tug on them as she pulls him towards her. Daryl looks back to her, and there's nothing except understanding in her eyes.

"You did what you had to do, Daryl. You saved us."

"Yeah," he mumbles, and nods his head once. It's the first time it's felt right to think it.

//

They clear the neighbourhood before they leave it. Seems as if when it all happened, the people chose to gather in the church hall, whether to pray or to come up with a plan, he doesn't know. Something went wrong, and they're all still roaming the church yard, snapping their jaws from within the iron fences.

It means nobody had time to pack or flee, it means there's as much food as they could want for the picking.

They load up the car with whatever they can find that's useful, tins and cans, foil wrapped packages and boxes. There's enough to get them through to Spring, and it's damn good luck that they picked this neighbourhood of all the possible ones.

The car loaded up, they make their way out of town, Daryl looking for a good possibility for somewhere to hole up for the rest of the winter.

They have a road map picked up from one of the houses, and he drives them in the direction of the Francis Marion National Forest, counting on the isolation to ensure there's not too many walkers for them to need to pick off.

They stay away from any of the tourist accommodation, checking a number of houses before eventually picking a sturdy log style cabin up an unpaved road and on the edge of the forest. There's a body inside, long since dead from a single gun shot to the head, the weapon then added to their growing collection as they take the man out, piling some rocks over him with the ground too cold to bury him.

The cabin is sparse, but there's a comfortable double bed, a fireplace that could be lit at night when the smoke can't be seen, some chairs and a table. There's a couple of rainwater tanks that seem to be full, giving them water if they conserve it wisely, and Daryl can't believe just how well they're now set up.

He watches as Beth unpacks the collection of books she'd gleaned from the houses they scavenged, setting them up on the table to pick from as they like.

They can survive here, see out the winter and wait for the spring.

He's not sure if he's brave enough to think it, but seeing the smile on Beth's face as she sets things up, hearing her hum under her breath as she moves around the small space, he thinks they can actually do more than that.

They can live.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, it's the extra push I need to get me back to writing when I need the inspiration!


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter Nineteen**

_Now_

It's early morning when he wakes, the sun filtering in through the curtains to light Beth's face where she still lies asleep, hair tussled, legs tangled with his.

They need to make an early start if they don't want the people back home to worry overly much about them, but Daryl can't find it in himself to wake her or get to moving himself.

She's gorgeous in the early morning light, prettiest damn thing he's ever seen, and he can't help wondering just how it is he got to be so lucky. No matter what Beth might say, Daryl knows the truth, world had to end for a man like him to find a woman like her, to find a love like this.

The old world, even if he'd found her he would've sabotaged it somehow, ruined it. When you ain't ever had anything good in your life, you usually don't know how to keep it. It's a good thing it took them so long to get here in his opinion. Gave him time to adjust to the idea that she might feel something for him, that it wasn't only in his own mind. Gave him time to believe that he could be worthy of her, could be what she needs.

Beth stirs as he looks down at her, opens those eyes of hers and looks up at him, blinking away the last of her sleep.

"Hi," she murmurs, and then her gentle hands are on him, pulling him down to kiss her, and it's only a matter of time before his hands are in her hair and on her hips, slipping inside the underwear that she's worn to sleep in.

He'd only had the one condom on him but that's okay.

There's been other things that Daryl's been wanting to try.

//

It's much later when they finally leave their room, all washed up and ready for the journey back.

It's all Daryl can do to keep himself from grinning, the mood that he's in. He can still taste her in his mouth, still hear the soft gasps and moans as he'd applied his tongue to her, learning her by instinct until he drew a cry from her lips. Had damn well near made him come then and there in his pants, knowing that he could do that for her, give her that type of pleasure whenever she might want it.

It's a good thing he hadn't though, given how good it had felt afterwards, her hands wrapped around his length, as Beth learned her own way around him, kissing him sweetly all the while so that he might not make a noise.

If there was nothing to do and nowhere to be then Daryl might have been tempted to remain in bed with her the whole day, while away the hours with their hands upon each other.

They do have things to do though and somewhere to be, and the longer they leave it the more their folks will worry and so off they go.

//

There's no knowing looks when they finally make it downstairs, but the women here have assumed that Beth and he have been together far longer than they actually have. Carol does shoot them a curious glance when she notices Daryl's hand lingering upon Beth's back a moment too long, the smile Beth gives him, bright as the sun, but when Daryl meets Carol's gaze she looks away.

Breakfast is a luxury, hard boiled eggs, and Deborah discusses sending some chickens for the prison community to rear the next time they have a batch of chicks. For now they've loaded pickled vegetables and preserves into the car to return with, along with some hard biscuits made to last.

They eat quickly, eager to return, and before long it's time to say goodbye, the women walking them as far as their car, Tom already on watch and ready to open the gate.

Most of the goodbyes are said quickly, but Stacy lingers, taking one of Beth's hands in hers, her other laid on Daryl's arm. "I hope you know that you're always welcome here, that there'll always be a place for you. Maybe it's never been said properly, and I know you've found your family, but you're a part of this community too, always will be."

Her words touch Daryl, but all he can do is nod, hoping that his eyes communicate the words that he can't say. Beth hugs Stacy though, murmuring thanks in her ear and promising to return soon.

Then it's just them and Carol left and it's finally time to bid her farewell.

"I, uh, I hope I'll see you two again," Carol tells them, her tone is even but Daryl can see the uncertainty in her eyes.

"Yeah," he agrees, "We'll be around."

"The others, you'll say goodbye for me? I hope that when they find out that they know why I did it, that I'm not... That I'm not a monster."

"Ain't nobody ever going to think you're a monster, Carol. People will be angry, yeah, but they'll come around. Will tell 'em goodbye for you, but might be that you'll see them all again soon for yourself."

"Maybe," Carol agrees, and before Daryl can react she pulls him into a tight hug, her fingers digging into his sides as she holds him close.

They were friends once, before they were separated, were on their way to being friends once more. It doesn't hurt as much to lose her as it could have if that time between hadn't passed, but Daryl will never forget that she was one of the first to see something in him other than the angry redneck he seemed to be.

"You look after yourself, look after those girls," he murmurs, and Carol nods her head against his shoulder.

"You too, and you look out for Beth, don't let go of what you have."

Daryl nods and she releases him, stepping forward to embrace Beth then, whispered wishes for good luck passing between them.

Then it's time to go and they take their leave.

Daryl keeps his eyes fixed to the rearview mirror and Carol stands there, watching them until they're out of sight.

//

They don't take any detours on the way back to the prison, knowing that Rick will be waiting to hear the outcome, that others might be too if he's been honest with them.

He won't have been though, Daryl's willing to bet on it. Rick wouldn't risk anyone else finding out until he's sure that Carol's found sanctuary elsewhere.

There's a part of him that would like to park by the side of the road, pull Beth into his arms and have his fill of her, take the time that they both so desperately need while they have the chance. That ain't safe though, not where anyone or anything could come upon them. They'll find some way to stay who they are now, and what they are to each other.

So it is that a couple of hours later they're pulling up at the prison, Carl opening the gates with a happy greeting for them, only to frown in confusion, the beginnings of fear sparking, "I thought Carol went with you, she's not..."

"Nah kid, she's fine. Just needs to sort some shit out, you ask your Dad about it."

They park the car and begin to head towards the prison, looking to track Rick down, when Maggie comes up to them.

"Beth! I'm sure glad to see the two of you back, Rick told us he'd sent you to do something, been real closed mouthed about it though, Daddy's been worried."

"I'll go to see him as soon as we've spoken to Rick," Beth promises, "Let him know we're back if you see him in the meantime."

Maggie nods and heads on her way, looking for their father perhaps, or set upon some other task.

It doesn't take long to find Rick, the pair of them running into him as he exits the prison, Michonne close behind him. He does a double take as he sees them, almost as if he hadn't expected them back so soon, or to have returned alone. A quick flicker of his eyes to the space behind them, and Daryl knows that he's checking that their mission has been a success.

"Walk with me," Rick tells them and they fall into step with him, down to the fields of crops, Michonne joining them. Rick waits till they're in the middle of the growing plants, nobody close by, before he asks. "It went as planned?"

Daryl nods, "They've been accepted, should do well with the people there. Sent us back with some gifts, I reckon we can establish some trading between us, get something regular worked out."

Rick looks away towards the fences, then back towards the two of them, as Michonne watches the interaction, calm as usual. By her lack of reaction, Daryl guesses that she's been told, which says a great deal for Rick's trust in her.

"Good, I didn't want her to be alone. No matter what she's done, she's been a part of this group too long for that."

"Still sent her away rather than working things out here," Daryl comments, "Say the B&B hadn't been there, would you have put her out in the cold?"

"It's not easy making decisions like that, what was I supposed to do? Let her stay and hope Tyreese doesn't find out? Tell everyone without knowing what type of a situation we'll have on our hands? I make these decisions so that nobody else has to, doesn't mean it's easy to do."

Rick's tone is defensive, and Daryl knows by the way his eyes flicker that he feels a certain amount of guilt for what he's done. It didn't change his decision in the end though. Rick's been making the tough calls since day one and there's no saying whether most of them have been right or wrong, but it's what he does.

It makes Daryl remember a conversation they'd had before though, assumptions Rick had made that were incorrect at the time but which he and Beth have made true now.

"You once told me you didn't want to make a difficult decision where Beth and me were concerned. That still hold true, Rick? We wanna be what we are and people object to it, you gonna kick us out as well? Try and tell us what we can and can't do?"

Daryl sees Michonne's gaze flick first to him and then to Beth, though her expression doesn't change. Rick's own expression is sharper, piercing, as he takes a step closer.

"Thought things were going well, you really want to shake it up now?"

Daryl glances down at Beth where she stands by his side. It's a simple thing to reach out and take her hand, hold it there in the sunlight where anyone might see them. So he does it, shows exactly what type of a stand he's taking. They haven't discussed it between them, but it's been long enough now. Enough of sneaking around, waiting in a lonely bed until everyone's gone to sleep and she can join him.

"Maybe we're sick of hiding. Anyone's got a problem then they can take it up with us, but there ain't no reason why we should keep pretending there's nothing between us. Now I want to know, if it comes down to it are you gonna be with us? You gonna back us up?"

Beth speaks up then, her body shifting closer to Daryl's, hand tightening on his. "I'll handle my Dad and Maggie, but we need to know if you'll support us. Maybe people won't care and maybe they'll be unhappy, but this is our choice, not anyone else's."

It's then that Michonne speaks up, her tone cool and calm as it usually is. "I can't speak for Rick, but if I hear anyone object then I'll be telling them to mind their own damn business."

Rick looks out across the fields and back at the prison, taking in the people who have now emerged to enjoy the morning sun, expression thoughtful as he turns back to them.

"I'll be honest, I wasn't so sure at first about the two of you. Thought things might change once you were settled in for long enough, once you weren't alone anymore and you both had some choice in the matter," Daryl can tell that Rick has noticed something in his expression because he holds up a hand as if to calm him, "But I realised along the way that I was wrong, that what you have is as valid as Maggie and Glenn, or as... Well as anyone who makes that choice." His eyes have shifted to Michonne then back to Daryl again, and Daryl wonders exactly when Rick might work up the courage to make his own choice. "I can't promise people will be happy, but you've got my support. There'll be no talk of either of you leaving."

Daryl nods, and reaches out his hand, offering it to Rick who grasps it firmly. "We'll do this right. Beth's family, I can't blame 'em if they're not happy with the news, but we'll tell them, let them make their own minds up."

The agreement made, they leave Rick and Michonne there, making their way back up to the prison, side by side and so close that they're almost touching. He doesn't hold her hand though, wouldn't let her folks to find out like that, through someone else's storytelling.

They've made their decision, but there's not been the time needed to properly discuss how they want to do it, so Daryl leaves Beth to find her Dad and goes to make his own rounds. He looks in on Glenn, who's awake and sitting up in his bed, some books by his side. He's still weak but Daryl can tell he's on the way to recovery now, and they exchange some words while they wait for Maggie or Beth to return.

Glenn thanks him for finding the medicine, and Daryl shrugs it off, asks if Glenn needs anything else before he makes his way towards his own cell, meaning to settle his own things back in.

"What's this I hear about you and Beth having taken Carol and those girls somewhere?" Andrea asks, poking her head into his cell as Daryl's checking his store of bolts, considering each for weakness before he again replaces them.

"Yeah we took 'em somewhere, they're safe there now. Gonna have to ask Rick if you want to know more than that."

"That's mighty secretive of you," Andrea narrows her eyes as she stares at him where he sits on the edge of his bed, turning a bolt over in his hands. "I see you're back to being Rick's right hand man again."

Daryl scoffs, but something in the comment pulls at him, "When was I ever before this?"

Andrea shrugs, "Back at the farm it was getting that way, as things got worse between him and Shane he was relying on you more heavily. I remember you volunteering to do the dirty work so he wouldn't have to. You might have forgotten after everything, but I still remember."

"A lot has happened since then."

"Yeah, a lot has," Andrea agrees, "I get the feeling you're not going to follow blindly anymore, but maybe that's what he needs."

Daryl shrugs at that, even if her words do strangely affect him, "You go ask him and I'm sure he'll tell you where they are."

Andrea nods and she's gone before he can even think of adding more to it, of questioning Andrea's words in some way. Truth be told, he likes Rick. Respects him. Rick is a man that Daryl can follow, but Andrea's right, gone are the days when he would've followed blindly. 

He wouldn't mind so much if he was to be thought of as Rick's right hand, though Daryl gets the feeling part of that would be as much about keeping Rick in line as toeing it himself.

It's later when Beth joins him, an hour maybe. She walks in to sit down upon the bed next to him, and Daryl puts aside the knife he was sharpening, sheathing it before placing it down.

"Your Dad doing okay?"

"Yeah, he's managed to get some rest now that Doctor S is back up and about. He was real worried when he heard Rick had sent us back out though." Beth pauses, expression solemn as she reaches out to nudge his fingertips with her own, "I ended up telling him and Maggie about Carol, I couldn't keep it from them."

"S'alright, Rick didn't tell us we couldn't."

"I know, but I asked them to keep it quiet anyway. I know Rick will need to tell Tyreese on his own without him finding out by other means." 

Daryl moves his hand to cover Beth's fingers with his own, thumb stroking against the back of her hand, and she smiles at him, the sweetness in her gaze enough to make him physically ache for her, the pull towards her almost too strong to resist.

Daryl clears his throat, "You, uh, you okay with telling your folks? We didn't really discuss it before I said it to Rick, just came out really."

Beth shifts closer to him, and there's only a moment of hesitation when she moves to rest her head on his shoulder. They've always been so careful while there's people up and about, but Daryl meant what he said, he really is tired of hiding how he feels.

He loves her, he does. Never knew he could love like this before he met her, always thought that type of emotion was reserved for other types of people, people who were worthier of it. It's not as if Daryl ever spent a lot of time thinking about it growing up, but he just never saw it happening for him, didn't think he would ever be capable of loving someone in such a way let alone being loved in return. It's hard to imagine that type of feeling when you've never seen it with your own two eyes.

Yet here they are.

"I want them to know," Beth replies, her voice quiet from where her mouth rests close to his skin, "We don't have anything to be ashamed of. It's like hiding a part of myself from them and I want it to be done with."

Daryl nods, tilting his own head to rest on top of hers, and they sit together like that, enjoying the moment of quiet. It might be that her Dad and Maggie don't mind, that they've spent all this time worrying for nothing. It might be that they object, try to get him away from her, but he's no longer scared of that. She won't leave him, no more than he would ever leave her, it's just not in them anymore. 

It's there, right there, the moment he's been waiting for, and Daryl seizes it. He places a kiss on the crown of her head then pulls back, looking down at her as she tilts her head up to look back at him. "I love you, you know that right?"

There's a second where Beth just looks back at him, and then her lips move, and he sees her grin, the brightest sweetest smile he thinks he's ever seen on her. "Yeah, I do. I love you too, Daryl Dixon, and you'd better remember it."

He kisses her, short and sweet upon the lips, before he tucks her slim shoulders under his arm, holding her to him as her forehead comes to rest in the crook of his neck.

Remember it, she says.

There's no fucking way that he's ever likely to forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who's stuck with me thus far and who continues to leave reviews, it's what keeps pushing me to get the next one done!


	20. Chapter Twenty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for attempted rape ahead, though it doesn't get very far.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need to say sorry.
> 
> I am so incredibly sorry that it has taken me this long to update - 7 months or so by my calculations.
> 
> I never intended for it to take that long but somewhere along the way I lost my inspiration. Blame it on the new season of The Walking Dead (which finally made me give up once and for all) or blame it on anything else, but I just couldn't continue at that time or it would've been too forced.
> 
> In the meantime I started on an original manuscript which completely consumed every spare moment I had. It's done now, and while I figure out what the hell to do with it, I was determined that I would finish this story once and for all to give it the ending it deserved.
> 
> The final two chapters are now done, I'll be posting the next one fairly quickly after this. Thank you to everyone who has stuck with the story through numerous interruptions, I know these are not as long or as good as they would've been once upon a time, but I still hope it's a satisfying conclusion.

**Chapter Twenty**

_Then_

The cabin sees them through the rest of the winter.

There's not too many walkers around and those that they see are dispatched easily enough, slow as they are with the cold. It means that Beth can get in some target practice with Daryl's bow, and by the end of winter she's turned into a decent enough shot that he's thinking seriously about how he can find her something lighter to use as her own. They're in the middle of nowhere though, no sports shops out this way to raid and he knows it's going to have to wait until spring, when they can travel further afield.

Daryl tries not to think too far ahead to when spring will come, to when they'll have to make a decision about what to do next.

They're safe here, as safe as it's possible to be these days anyway. They've got food to last them a couple of months at least and the traps bring in fresh meat at least a couple of times a week. There's a natural water source nearby and come spring maybe they could plant something if they can find some seeds. He knows he's thought it before, but they really could make a life here, settle down for the long haul.

That would mean giving up though and Daryl doesn't know if Beth is ready for that.

It doesn't mean anything to him anymore, finding the others. Not in any way other than that it would make her happy. He doesn't have ties in the way Beth does, nobody who's waiting on him to come back. He might've called Carol a friend before, or at least someone who could become one, but they never got that far. With Rick and Glenn there was a type of camaraderie but the others... Daryl knows what most of them thought of him.

He loses nothing if they settle down and give up looking. 

Beth though, there's her father and Maggie out there somewhere and he knows she wants to see them again more than almost anything.

So Daryl doesn't talk about staying, doesn't plan anything beyond the winter months, knowing all the while that eventually they’ll need to go.

For now the small cabin is home, one of the best he's ever had.

They've improved it since they arrived, put up extra defences and scavenged for items to make it more comfortable. They've picked the rest of the cabins and homes in the area clean, picking up whatever food was left, any useful items as well. Daryl remembers the look on Beth's face the day they opened one door to find an entire bookshelf of novels, the way she'd lit up with joy. She didn't need to ask him to take them back, he would do damn near anything to see her that happy, and if hauling a few books back was what it took then so be it.

It gives them something to do in the evenings now, crowded around the one candle to catch the light, each with their own book at hand. It's the first time Daryl remembers being able to just be together with someone in that way, peaceful like, no one looking to mock him for his choice or question whether he'll understand what he's reading.

So they sit together, Beth more often than not curled into his side, and Daryl tries to suppress the traitorous stab of his heart when she does so.

She doesn't mean anything by it, not like he'd want her to, and it's better if she doesn't anyway. Better by far if he doesn't want at all, if he can keep that locked away deep inside where it won't colour what he does for her.

It's hard to think like that though when they lie side by side in the double bed at nights, Beth's breathing slow and soft, as she burrows under the covers, tucking herself in close to him where she can steal his warmth.

Could damn near drive a man crazy, that much sweetness and beauty and nothing to stop them except themselves. Daryl tries not to think on it too much, knows what he would need to do even if Beth were to want him, in order to be the man she deserves.

He ain't ever going to let himself take advantage of her when she's dependent on him, not when it's like this, just the two of them together and her so young. Might be different if she were older, might be different if they were somewhere there was other people where she actually had a choice.

It's not though.

It's a good thing he's thought this through, a good thing that his mind is already made up on the day when she finally kisses him.

//

It's not like it hasn't been a long time coming, even if Daryl's been too blind to see it.

Maybe blind's not the word, maybe he's been fooling himself on purpose this whole time, in the hopes it'll make it easier for him to keep himself apart from her.

It's the beginning of spring by his reckoning. The ground seems a bit softer, the air has less of a chill, and for the past week they've caught more game than they usually catch in a fortnight.

They make their way through the forest together, Beth's footsteps light beside his, quiet and sure. Daryl finds himself watching her as much as he watches the surroundings, the light as it glints off her hair, the expressions on her face as she examines the ground, tracking their prey.

"You reckon we'll catch anything else today?" He asks her, his voice kept at an undertone.

"There's quite a few rabbit prints through here, I think we should be able to track them back to a burrow. Lots of squirrels out today too."

Daryl nods, eyes scanning the treetops for any to add to the one already hitched to his belt. If it's all they catch for today then that's not so bad, but he'd prefer to have more. Would like to see Beth get a little more meat on her bones before they head back onto the road if that's what she chooses.

"Do you think..." Beth's voice is quiet, thoughtful. "Do you think we'd be able to plant a garden by the cabin, get some vegetables growing?"

"Thought about it," Daryl admits, "Just need to find some seeds, otherwise the ground looks good enough. We gonna stick around long enough to see that happen though?"

Beth shrugs, suddenly shy, a quick glance towards him and then away. "There's no way of knowing where the others are. Don't get me wrong, I still want to find them, I still have faith they're out there. It's just... maybe we rest for awhile, maybe we take a little time here."

Daryl stops, turning to face Beth directly as she does the same. All of this time she's insisted they keep looking, the plan was always to get back on the road come spring. "What changed?"

"I want to find them, but the people out there, the walkers... there’s a lot of bad things out there and only the two of us. If we're going to find them again we will but in the meantime maybe we don't need a group. We can make it on our own, Daryl. You and me, we can make it together."

It stuns him, the level of faith in her voice. She believes in him, believes in _them_ with a strength that almost knocks him back. Even after this much time together it's still a surprise to see her place her faith so firmly in him.

"And you'd be okay with that?" He asks, his voice rough and uncertain, "Just you and me? Not gonna get sick of me after awhile?"

"Daryl..." Beth steps forward, reaching out to take his hand in hers, their fingers tangling. He looks down, seeing her smaller hand entwined with his, something settling deep and low in his gut at the sight. It looks right, it looks like everything he's never allowed himself to hope for. "Do you really not know?"

He doesn't, so he shakes his head, both dreading and aching for the answer she might give. Beth's response is to step forward, standing on her toes to reach him, her mouth suddenly pressed against his. It's a little clumsy, unexpected as it is, but his lips part against hers anyway, his other hand going to her hip as hers comes up to frame his cheek.

It's not like he's kissed a lot of women in his life, hasn't spent much time on kissing at all. He knows now what he was missing all these years, just what it means to be touched by someone who sees you truly and wants you anyway.

The taste of her is agonisingly sweet and with the warmth of her skin under his hands he wants, oh god he _wants_. They could do this, they could, just the two of them on their own and Daryl’s not going to pretend he hasn’t thought about it. 

His grip on her tightens, bringing her closer, and as Beth sighs against his lips he abruptly remembers all the reasons he _can’t_ , and Daryl wrenches himself away.

“Beth, I can’t do this,” he pants, catching his breath as he takes a step away from her, “We can’t do this.”

She’s confused, reaching out for him as if to grasp his hand and bring him back in. “Why not? I know you want this as much as I do.”

He shakes his head, “Wouldn’t be right. It’s…” he struggles, trying to put it into words. “You don’t have anyone but me. Ain't no choice in that, not a real one anyway. Promised myself I wouldn’t do that, wouldn’t be that type of man.”

“Daryl…” Beth stares at him for a moment as if trying to comprehend, “I know what I want. This isn’t something you’re forcing on me, it isn’t like those people at the B&B, this is _my_ choice. Even if we’d found the others or another group, you’d still be my choice.”

“Ain't nobody going to see it like that. Shouldn’t be that way neither. I’m too damn old for you, Beth, and not good enough by half. S’different if you make the choice when there’s something else to choose but here… just the two of us? It would be taking advantage. Ain't a real choice if there's nobody else to choose.”

She steps forward once more and there’s understanding in her eyes now even if he thinks she wishes she could plead with him to change his mind. “Is that it then? Cause you think I don’t have a proper choice there can’t ever be anything between us? You’re wrong, Daryl. Maybe in the old world age would’ve mattered but not anymore. Don’t you ever tell me you’re not good enough for me again, you hear me? You’re the best man I’ve ever known. I’m not going to give up on you Daryl, whatever happens now, whether we find the others or not, it’s you and me.”

The words are almost too much for him.

He crosses the distance between them, crushing her into a hug and burying his face into her shoulder as Beth holds him close.

This is what it feels like to belong to someone, this is what it feels like to have a home.

“I ain't saying never,” he finally manages to choke out, “We find the others, or somewhere safe, and then we see. Give it some time though, Beth. I need to know that you really mean it when you choose.”

He couldn’t handle that, were they to start something only for her to change her mind later if they find a group, pick someone else over him. He would let her go but it would break something inside him. 

He doesn’t want her to regret him, doesn’t want her to choose without really understanding when she’s still so young.

“It’s okay,” she soothes him, her gentle hands rubbing circles over his back, “So we wait awhile longer, maybe till we find a group, but if that doesn’t happen then I’m not giving up on you. We haven’t found anyone by next winter and we have this conversation again.”

It’s not that Daryl doesn’t want her, badly at that. Not that he hasn’t dreamed about it, woken up in a cold sweat just aching to reach out. He wants her, he does, but more than that he wants to be able to look her in the eye and know that he’s worthy of her.

They’ve come a long way together, grown into something along that journey and somehow they’re bound up together for better or worse now. He can make sure it’s for better though, make sure that before they change what they are to each other that Beth has had every chance there is.

He can’t give up on finding a group for them, not yet. The world as it is, it’s too dangerous to be on your own for too long, there’s safety in numbers.

They can’t be the last good people left, can’t be the only ones to have survived.

They’ll find others like them and when they do, when there’s a real choice in it, then he’ll pray she’s still the one he makes.

//

Spring turns warmer by the day and they still haven’t moved on.

There’s a garden in progress by the side of the cabin, plants just starting to shoot through. Might be they don’t see any produce from it this year but maybe they will if they’re still around when it happens.

Daryl doesn’t want to jinx it by planning so far ahead, not when there’s still so much that can go wrong. They might get a herd come through, might be forest fires or floods or anything really.

When it happens though, it’s not any of those things.

It’s people.

//

They’ve grown complacent in the months that they’ve spent here, lured in by a false sense of security.

It’s why Daryl sometimes allows the two of them to be separated, why he no longer insists that Beth stay in his direct line of sight.

They’d been out hunting that morning, caught a deer for the first time since they arrived. They’re both so excited about the prospect of enough meat to fill their stomachs for two days if they’re lucky, that Daryl agrees to Beth going ahead to get the fire pit prepared while he’s preparing the meat.

It’s a mistake, he knows that as soon as he hears the voices.

It’s been so long on their own that he’d almost doubted they might ever see other people again, but plain as day he hears the evidence that he’d been wrong. Fear strikes Daryl deep in his gut as he realises it, and his first instinct is to rush in, to check that Beth’s okay.

He stamps down on that thought immediately. He has to be smart about this, if they’ve got her then he’s going to need the element of surprise. If she’d managed to hide in time then he can’t go giving them away.

So he creeps towards the cabin, hidden by the thick forest, careful to stay silent and to listen out.

“I saw her first, said the words. I’ve claimed her, Joe. Ain't right if I don’t get her.”

“Was me that said we should wait here though, I saw the garden and said there’d be people. Wouldn’t have found her at all if it wasn’t for me.”

“You’ll both get a turn boys, don’t you worry. Claimed is claimed though, and Len has first rights.”

“Awwwww Joe…”

Daryl’s blood boils as he hears their words, but it seems she’s safe for now, that they haven’t hurt her yet. He creeps closer still until he can see them, counts six men, Beth’s arm gripped tightly by one who appears to be their leader.

He can make out her knife in its place on her belt from this distance. They’re dumb as well as cruel, haven’t even bothered to check her for weapons properly or remove them, overconfident as they are.

Daryl stops, notches his crossbow and prepares it to fire. He takes the handgun out from where it was tucked into the back of his pants and checks that it’s loaded, takes the safety off.

He’ll have one chance to get them out of this and he needs to make sure they do it right.

He darts forward, careful to stay hidden, as one of the men guffaws.

“She’s a skinny little thing, think there’ll be enough left for the rest of us after Len and Tony are done with her?”

The group bursts into laughter as the man reaches out towards Beth, a hand roughly grasping her chin, and Daryl takes his shot.

He uses the crossbow first, hits the man reaching out to touch Beth directly through his neck. He gurgles, keeling over, as the others panic, looking around.

The next shots are fired in quick succession, the two men that had claimed rights to her now down. There’s three more, including the man who still grips Beth by the arm, and one rushes towards him yelling as Daryl lifts the gun and fires again, two shots in quick succession to the chest, enough to knock him down if not kill him.

The bullets are out and he pulls his knife from its sheath and plunges ahead, grappling with one of the two remaining men for the upper hand. The man is heavy, overweight, and he pushes back at Daryl hard, almost overpowering him until Daryl sticks his knife in the man’s gut, twists and drags until he knows he’s made enough of a wound to overpower him. He pulls it out, stabs it back into the man’s chest to make sure before pushing him away.

Daryl whirls, expecting to have to fight the leader, only to find him on the ground, a knife through his eye, as Beth stands there with his blood on her hands, trembling. 

Daryl crosses to her quickly, pulling her into a quick embrace and kissing her hair. “You okay? They didn’t hurt you?”

“Didn’t get a chance,” Beth confirms, “I was so scared but I hoped you’d hear them, I was waiting for a chance…”

“That’s my girl,” he murmurs, before looking around at the carnage they’ve caused.

There’s no saying who might have heard the shots or whether it might bring walkers down upon them. No saying whether these men were alone either, or if they were part of a larger group.

There’s nowhere safe in this world anymore and it’s time that they both remembered that.

“We gotta go Beth,” Daryl tells her and it’s a testament to all they’ve been through that she doesn’t even question it.

Beth goes into the cabin to grab their packs and begin preparing to move out while Daryl looks over the bodies. There’s a compound bow on one of the men and he grabs it, tests its weight and thinks it might be just right for Beth. 

Strange, the way things sometimes work out.

Half an hour later and they’re clear of the cabin, a pack on each of their backs, a bow across each of their shoulders.

Daryl doesn’t know where they’re headed as yet, whether back to Georgia or somewhere else, but what matters is that they’re still here, that they’ll make it together.

“You okay?” He asks, eyes raking over Beth as she walks beside him.

She nods, gives him a small smile that doesn’t quite meet her eyes. It’ll take time, he knows that. It’ll take time but he’ll be right there beside her to see her through it.

“I will be,” she promises, her voice growing determined, “ _We_ will be.”

Daryl doesn’t have faith in much anymore, but he can still believe in them.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The long road that leads them home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out the beautiful artwork that Dee made for me! Because I'm a dork, I only just realised how to post it within the fic :/

**Chapter Twenty One**

_Now_

Now that they’ve made the decision to tell her family the only question is how they should approach it.

When you’ve taken so long to do something then you might as well do it right.

Daryl thinks that he should talk to her Dad by himself first, that it’s his responsibility to do so. Beth doesn’t agree though, they’ll do this as they’ve done everything else - together.

It’ll be a surprise to her Dad and Maggie, she knows that at least. Apart from that, Beth doesn’t quite know how each of them might react. She knows that they both like Daryl, respect him. That’s a very different thing to accepting him as her partner though and Beth is well aware of that. She worries that there might be angry words and accusations, and she wishes she could shield him from that.

She has to have faith though that her family will see what she has. She has to trust that they’ll respect her choice and accept Daryl as one of them.

Beth packs up the things from her room that morning, ready to carry to his on the upper walkway. Everything is ready and now they just have to see it through.

It’s not a long walk to her father’s cell, where she’s asked him and Maggie to be. Daryl doesn’t show any outward signs of being worried but Beth knows him, can tell by the way his jaw is clenched that he’s not at ease. She’s worried too, not about them knowing but about what will happen if they’re not happy. Will it drive a wedge between them somehow? Beth doesn’t know but she still has to take a chance.

Sure enough her Dad and Maggie are waiting inside when she arrives, chatting companionably as they sit side by side on the bunk. Beth smiles at them, a little strained, and Daryl nods as they step inside and let the curtain fall behind them.

“What’s this all about Beth?” Her father asks, his forehead crinkled despite his smile, “Got me a little worried calling a meeting like this.”

“Nothing to worry about, Daddy.” Beth assures him, “Daryl and I just need to talk to you.”

“Well we’re all ears.”

She takes a deep breath, steels herself, and then reaches over to take Daryl’s hand.

“I’m planning to move my things up to Daryl’s room later today.”

It’s not the best way she could have introduced the topic and she cringes a little at the way she’d phrased it but forges on regardless.

“Me and Daryl, we’ve spent so long waiting for the right time, but here with you all and safe, there’s no more reason to wait. We’re sure about what we want.”

Her father fixes her with a look, his expression inscrutable. “You love him?”

“Yes Daddy, I do. I have for a long time now.”

“And you?” Her father directs the question at Daryl as Beth glances towards Maggie. Her sister seems uncertain but she still gives Beth an encouraging smile.

“Yes’sir, more than anything.”

Her father is silent for a moment as if contemplating the two of them and then he turns to Daryl again. “I’d like to speak to my daughter in private for a minute .”

Daryl glances towards Beth questioning and then nods, turning as if to make his way outside. He stops at the last minute, looking back at them, and Beth can easily read the tension in him as he opens his mouth to speak once more. 

“I ain’t leaving her, I want to make that clear. We want your approval but if we don’t get it then it ain’t changing nothing between us. We’ve been through too much shit together for that.”

He looks at Beth one last time before he departs, she can hear his footsteps fading, knows he’s going far enough that they’ll have some privacy to speak.

“Do you know what you’re doing, Beth?” Her father asks, concern written across his features.

“I do,” Beth confirms, “I’ve had more than enough time to know exactly what it is I want.”

Her father shakes his head, “You’re very young, Beth. I know you’ve had to grow up fast since we lost you but I worry that you don’t really understand what you’re getting into here. Now whatever happened out there… whatever he might have convinced you of… it’s different in here. For a long time you’ve been on your own, and I don’t know how things may have happened, but out there alone with him, it might have seemed like there was no other option. Now I’m not saying Daryl’s not a good man or that he doesn’t care for you, but you’ve got a choice now, Beth. Maybe you two should take some time apart, let you see things clearly before you make a decision.”

Beth stares at her father, shocked by his words and shakes her head angrily. It’s not even a shock that he might think that, isn’t it exactly what Rick thought?

“I’ve _always_ had a choice, Daddy. I don’t know what you think of Daryl or of me, but he has _never_ taken advantage of me in the way you’re saying.”

“Now, Beth…”

“Daddy, let her finish.” Maggie’s quiet interjection stops her father and he nods, turning back to Beth to let her continue. Beth looks at her sister, sees the cautious support in her face, the small smile she gives Beth to tell her to continue.

“You’ve just assumed that this has been going on since then but the truth is nothing happened till we arrived here. The year we were on our own, not once did he try and touch me. Even when I made it clear that I wanted more, he still wouldn’t. He didn’t think it was right unless I had a proper choice, unless we were safe enough for me to make it. It’s only after we’ve come here that he’s allowed us to become something else.” She takes a breath in, trying to calm myself. “When we came here, Rick assumed the same thing you did. Told us clearly that it couldn’t continue because he didn’t want it fracturing the community if you objected. He didn’t even try and find out the truth from us first, just like you. Maybe you don’t know Daryl as well as I do, but it’s time that you all stopped assuming things about him. He’s the best man I’ve ever known, the only one I’m ever going to want.” 

Maggie stands to hug her, and Beth has never been more grateful for her sister than in this moment, for her quiet support as she continues. 

“I’ve made my choice, I’ve made it a hundred times over and I’m not going to change it. Daryl’s my family as much as you are and he always will be. Now I hope you’ll be happy for us but even if you’re not I’ll still be moving my things up today, we won’t be hiding it anymore.”

“I’ve seen it for myself, Daddy, the way they are together.” Maggie adds her voice of support, “I’d wondered when I saw the way you were together, how protective he was of you. I didn’t want to say anything though in case I was wrong. I figured you’d tell us when you were ready, and maybe if this had happened at the farm I wouldn’t be thinking about it the same way, but I can see the way you fit together, like Glenn and I do.”

Beth tightens her grip on Maggie and they wait together, hands clasped, as their father thinks about what they’ve both said.

“I’m sorry,” he says finally, standing slowly as he does so, “Somehow even with all my happiness to get you back, I didn’t realise that you’d grown up.”

Beth knows the words for what they are, a peace offering. She opens her arms to him as his close around his two girls, and it’s everything that she’d dreamed of while apart from them. 

This is the homecoming she deserved, Beth knows that they both see her as she truly is now, see the woman that she’s become. 

“Should I call Daryl back?” She asks, “Let him know it’s alright?”

“You do that,” her father tells her, “I’d like to get to know him better, I’m not too proud to say I know when I’ve misjudged someone and I hope he’ll forgive me for that.”

Beth nods and maybe there’s tears in her eyes but she blinks them away, hurrying out to find him. 

It doesn’t take long, as soon as she exits to the courtyard there he is, perched on one of the tables, hunched over and looking at his knees where they rest on the bench. 

He looks up as Beth approaches and there’s a nervousness on his face that she wishes she could kiss away.

So she does, stepping between his knees and securing his chin between her fingers, kissing him fiercely until his lips open beneath hers, seeking his own reassurance without any thought of who might be watching them until she pulls away, sees the calmness that’s settled on him. He knows by what they’ve both done that it’s all settled now, that they’ll never hide again.

“Alright?” He asks her.

“Daddy wants to get to know you better, asked me to bring you back inside.”

He reaches out so that his hands settle on her hips, pulling her closer towards him, he tilts his forehead to touch hers. “We’re gonna be okay here, Beth.” He tells her, “We’re going to make it.”

It feels right to hear him say it, it feels like the end of a long journey, like they’ve finally reached home together.

Somewhere down in the crops, she hears Rick calling out to Carl, Michonne’s voice rising alongside his. Around them, the other residents of the prison begin to filter out into the mid morning sun, the laughter of children mixed with the older voices. They will make a life here, despite the constant dangers outside. They will fight to keep the others safe and they will fight for each other. They will hold their happiness close and pray that it never comes to an end.

Everything they went through and everything they became and it’s finally brought them here.

“We will,” Beth affirms, one hand reaching up to cup his cheek. “We will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm feeling a bit sad to be leaving this fic behind at last but it was always the plan to take them only to this point. Despite all the delays in writing, it's always remained very close to my heart and I'm glad that I could finally take it to its conclusion.
> 
> I want to say a big thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed, those reviews are what have kept me going when it's been tough. I hope you've all enjoyed this journey with me!


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